My first few minutes walking in the cave went the way you would expect. It started with me rushing full force forward. All I could think about were those footsteps behind me. I needed to be as far away from them as possible to make sure the guards would have no reason to enter this cave. There were other places within the castle walls I could possibly be hiding so I wanted to make sure they would check there first. After a bit longer, I started to slow down. I no longer could hear any more footsteps. I figured I would have a while longer before anyone would even fathom looking for me in this dingy cave. So I decided to catch my breath and let myself relax a little. I was still feeling very nervous, which was justified as I was wandering aimlessly towards an unknown destination.
Nevertheless, things changed at least an hour into my walk. That was when I stopped shaking and started letting my mind wander. It was weird how my great fear of my lack of a future started to be taken up by other smaller fears. Such as the fact that I had skipped breakfast and brought nothing with me other than what I had left in my cloak’s pockets. Or like how I didn’t even think to bring shoes with me. Here I was, walking barefoot on the rocky damp ground with potential bugs crawling everywhere. I could predict how my feet would hurt in a couple more hours. Was that even how much longer I would be walking for?
Then more hours passed, or at least that was what it felt like and I was still walking. I had just woken up before starting this little adventure so I had enough energy even though I was getting a little hungry. There really was nothing in this cave but rocks, cold wet rocks. But they were wet, so that had to mean there was water somewhere. Maybe it would collect enough in a hole and I could drink from it. I was feeling slightly optimistic as I continued. Even still, I did not believe the end would be coming up anytime soon.
In my mind, I played out how this little adventure of mine could go one of three ways. One: there would be an opening on the other side that I could manage to get out from. Then I would be free to get even farther away from here. And do what exactly? I would worry about that later. Two: there would be a dead end and I would be stuck staying in the cave or having to return to the castle and my guards…and that future he had planned for me. I would be stuck either way. Or three: the guards would catch up with me or I would end up being way too hungry, and so unable to move forward in both circumstances. What these three options showed me was that there was no real need to worry about them until they presented themselves in front of me. Not until then would I have to make a decision. For now, I just had to keep moving forward.
While thinking this all through, I started to get pretty hungry and thirsty, and bored actually. It was amazing how fleeing and risking everything could turn out to be so boring in execution. So I started fidgeting with my mother’s locket again. I had found the locket tucked in a handkerchief the night my mom past away. I had rushed into her room once I was sure she was gone. I knew my father would send me off very soon after and never let me near her room again so I took the locket. My mother was always wearing it around the castle, but when she traveled she would place it gently in her drawer. At least in my dreams it always happens this way. So I knew exactly where to find it. Then I tucked it away in a fold in my dress before my guards came to take me away.
Even though the locket constantly showed up in my dreams of my mother, I never could remember her ever opening it. And in all these years that I’ve had it, I never could open it myself. I tried numerous of ways to do so, but nothing turned out to be successful. There also was no keyhole for it, yet it had all the markings of a locket that could hold something inside. Nonetheless, the stupid thing never budget and still didn’t as I tried again to force it open while walking down the path.
My next tactic to distract myself was to pull out the things in my cloak’s pockets. This cloak was specially crafted for me. It was created from a sturdy black velvet material. It also was lined with silk and had two rather large pockets on both sides. In those pockets I found a bag of carefully sealed almonds and chocolate. It was some kind of food, which was a relief! There was also some scratch paper with scribbles on it. While none of this sounded all that exciting, there was much more to this cloak than meets the eye. It really had been crafted specifically for me by a shockingly nice guard. I had called him Shocker because he always smiled when I did that.
Shocker was one of the few guards I had actually bonded with when I was a lot younger. Sure it was only for two weeks before he was transferred, but in that short amount of time he did come to like me and I him. He saw for himself how limited I was and so he gifted me this cloak right before he left. Soon after I discovered that there were hidden pockets carefully stitched into the lining. Now in these pockets were the objects I really wanted along with me wherever I went. I quickly put my mother’s locket gently in one of these hidden pockets and left the other objects untouched.
After all of this stopped being so amusing, I was still stuck having to walk for a lot longer. At some point I ate a few almonds and one piece of chocolate from that plastic bag. I had to be careful not to make myself too thirsty. Then I decided to take a break when I came across a group of larger boulders. I positioned myself on them to be able to sit down somewhat comfortably. My feet were aching quite a lot so I started to massage them until the black dirt from the bottom of them began to rub off a bit on my hands. I stopped immediately and tried to wipe the dirt off on my nightdress. It was dark blue and was actually pretty loose fitting compared to the day dresses my guards always chose for me to wear, but still it was not all that comfortable for lounging on rocks. Shortly after, I allowed myself to relax fully and lie against the sharp edges of the boulders underneath me and closed my eyes. I felt myself drift some and then everything went dark.
“Now is not the time for this.”
There was some kind of voice trying to speak to me in my sleep. I heard it whisper.
"Come on, get up now. You are really going to want to get moving.” The voice was getting a bit louder and I felt myself stir. “Now!”
And just like that I sprang up from where I was. I quickly looked around, but no one was there. But there had to have been someone? I wouldn’t have woken up otherwise. And yet there was no one around.
I no longer wanted to sleep. I just wanted to keep moving. As I was moving away from these boulders, I saw a bat hanging somewhat over me. This was a cave so animals like this one were expected; yet there was something about this particular bat. For one, it was alone. I had not seen any other animals, not even any bugs around. And secondly, this bat was looking at me. Sure I was tired and probably being a bit paranoid at this point, but I swear those two eyes were piercing through me.
Awhile later I was even further along in the massive cave. I was still feeling very thirsty and a little groggy, and more nervous than I had been earlier. I started to move faster than I had been. No one was behind me. I knew this. The guards would have made plenty of noise and who else could possibly be in here? And yet I could not stop myself. Something was telling me to keep moving, to move faster. So I did for a while until something stopped me. It was probably the only thing that could have stopped me at this point: water.
By another group of boulders was some moss. I looked over because it was the first amount of green I had seen in a long time. Then I noticed a couple drops falling from the moss that was hanging from one of the boulders. The drops were making ringlets down below in a small puddle. I quickly dove towards it. I stuck both hands in and splashed my face with it. Water! Then I placed both hands back in and raised some of the water up for me to drink.
“Don’t even think about it!” I jumped back immediate at the sound of this voice again. In doing so, the water had dropped from my hands to the floor. Dammit.
“Who are you?” I asked no one in particular. When I got no answer, I continued. “Why did you do that? I wasted the water. There is not enough in this hole now!” My voice was echoing and getting louder.
“There is cleaner water up ahead, actual drinkable water.” I kept looking around to place where this voice was coming from, unsuccessfully."Keep moving. You must keep moving.”
I decided to do as this voice had said. Plus I was too thirsty to argue. So I kept moving and sure enough there was another puddle. This puddle was in a dent higher up on the wall. There was no moss or green stuff around it.
"For now remember the green algae in here means you should not drink it. Otherwise you should be fine. No promises..."
I guess this voice liked to seem ominous. It was weird. Wasn’t moss usually a sign that the water was drinkable? There was something up with this cave. Clearly. guess this voice liked to seem ominous. It was weird. Wasn’t moss usually a sign that the water was drinkable? There was something up with this cave. Clearly.
I had no reason to trust this voice and yet I found myself drinking from this dent in the wall. Wow it was great. I already was feeling better, and mainly relieved. There was drinkable water in the cave! At this point I was able to keep moving again at my normal pace. For whatever reason I was not feeling so anxious about this voice anymore. I could just continue walking, and waiting for something else to happen.
And just like that something else did happened. It was the universe’s way of saying “if that is what you think you want, then let me show you how wrong you are”. And boy did it show me. I had come across a fork in the road, literally this time. I could either go right or left. I looked down both paths a little, but there was no clear sign as to which one to follow. So instead I just stood there looking at both paths, not making a decision.
“Just chose one.”
“Oh yay! It is my great friend the voice,” I told this shadow of mine. “It is not that easy to chose one.” Picking the wrong one could lead me to a dead end and then I would have to come back and my guards could catch up to me by that point.
“Fine, I will give you some help this time. Just don’t always expect it…go left,” the voice told me sounding a bit tired this time.
I still did not move. How much could I actually rely on this voice? It would be insane to depend completely on some random command. This voice was not even a person in front of me, just some sound. I couldn’t keep being swayed by it. For all I knew it was just an elaborate hallucination of mine. I was alone in a cave after all, and I had no idea for how long by this point.
“Well if you are going to be that obstinate…” The voice was fading.
“Fine then! Disappear!” I called out. It was fine. I needed to ignore the voice anyways. That was the only way for me to make it through this somewhat sane. Granted that really depended on if I could even figure out the right path.
“Like I said, the left one!”
I had never jumped so high before in my life. Not only was the voice back and louder than ever, there was something there along with it: a physical form. Standing to my side now was this man, a man like I had never seen before. He did not look like any of my guards. For one, he was young. He looked older than me, but still young, and handsome as hell. That was part of what had scared me. Beauty was intimidating. None of the guards ever in my presence were even moderately attractive, and those so-called princes who I was set up with were not even remotely at this guy’s level. Damn, and those eyes, they were piercing. They were this piercing light brown and were looking through me in a familiar way, like they had done so before at some point. But that was impossible. There was no way I could have ever met before this man before.
“Well?” The man asked me after all of my staring. The sound coming from him was a perfect match.
“The voice?” I finally managed to sort of ask as I settled my breathing and stood upright with strong footing.
“You coming or not?”
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