I discover that romance books aren’t my thing. I kind of already knew that since the movies always bore the shit out of me. However, I still found myself finishing those books and even starting up Twilight. Again, not my favorite but I can deal with it. Maybe I’m hoping to talk about them with Preston, an excuse for us to talk or something that we can share or maybe I’m just a huge fucking idiot. I don’t know but I read them.
Reading books has never been on my to do list. In fact, I’ve read more during this week than probably my whole life. I always avoid reading textbooks and jump straight to sparknotes to get answers during class. Sitting still is hard for me and to read a book I need to sit still. Mom suggested audio books once but when I tried it out it all went in one ear and out the other, didn’t catch a single word.
Except now I think I am going to read a bit more. Next time I see Preston I’ll ask him what he’s currently reading. Maybe we could read it together and talk about what we think up to that point or...or something.
I slam my book shut and stare into the abyss of my room. Feeling the book between my fingers then recalling my own thoughts makes my spine shiver.
What the hell am I doing?
I’ve asked myself that a lot yet I haven’t got an answer yet. No, maybe I do have one but I don’t want to think about it or admit to it. I chuckle at my own stupidity, groaning after I slip down into my bed, curling beneath the covers like it’ll somehow protect me from reality.
They definitely do not.
There’s a knock at my door.
“Caleb,” Mom calls before she opens said door to find me hiding in my covers. She laughs. “What are you doing sweetie?”
“Moping.”
“About?” My bed dips, signaling that she has taken a seat. I feel her hand caressing my shoulder through the blanket.
I’ve never really had an issue being honest so it’s not that hard for me to say, “Feelings.”
“What kind of feelings?”
“I...don’t know.” The romantic kind? The confused kind? It feels like a little bit of everything.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Mom is continuing to gently rub my shoulder. The feeling is very comforting.
“Not right now.”
“Well, when you want to, your dad and I are here.” With that, mom pulls the covers down just enough so she can press a kiss to my forehead. She whispers a quiet “I love you” that I happily return just as my dad walks by to say his own “goodnight” and “I love you.” Mom returns the covers over my head with a giggle then walks out of my room, shutting the door behind her.
Once she’s gone, I slowly peek my head out of my covers but I keep them wrapped around me. It feels too hot but somehow I feel a bit safer beneath my blankets. Safe from what? I don’t know. My own feelings? I guess that’s the only thing I’m hiding from. It’s easier to remain oblivious, to act like nothing has changed but once you realize the truth and see the change it’s hard to go back to what you used to be.
Sighing, I pull my book back up, flipping through the pages in order to return to where I left off. I read a while longer until my eyes start to feel heavy. The clock tells me it’s almost midnight, normally I stay up later but reading seems to knock me out. Deciding it’s better to just go to sleep, I slip the book onto my bedside table and shut off my bedroom lights.
Like most nights I grab my phone and begin to play around on it a bit before bed. I’m looking through instagram then twitter when my messenger pops up. I’m confused to who it is because the guys always just text me but when I see Coco staring at me I know that it’s Preston...which is even more peculiar.
The message is a simple one.
Are you awake?
Yep! I reply.
Mind if I take you up on that offer?
I sit up so fast that I go dizzy and fall right back into bed. Preston has never come over since I told him a week ago that he could. I thought perhaps he never would but it seems that isn’t the case. Quickly, I answer.
Want 2 meet @ the park? we can ride my bike back since its so late
Before I get a chance to change or even get out of bed, Preston replies.
I went for a walk to cool my head so I’m almost there. I hope I’m not bothering you.
Of course not!!!! U can come over thats why i said u could, I send that so quick I kind of want to slap myself for it.
I’m out of bed and moving down the steps in no time. My parents haven’t been asleep long so I try to be as quiet as I can. Opening the front door is difficult though, it’s pretty old so it creaks no matter what I do. After opening said door I find Preston walking into our driveway. He doesn’t notice me in the doorway until he’s walking up the front steps.
“Sorry to bother you,” he whispers with his head down, refusing to move over to the door.
“You’re not bothering me,” I say maybe a little too sternly. Since Preston doesn’t seem to want to move I reach out for him, grabbing the boy by the wrist and pulling him inside.
Preston kicks off his shoes once inside. I inform him that my parents are asleep so he needs to be quiet though I do leave them a note in the kitchen stating that a friend came over. I may get a little lecture in the morning since it’s so late but the note will save me a bit.
Quietly, the two of us make our way up to my room. Passing by Brody’s room is a pain since the little shit is a bit of a light sleeper. Luckily, we make it to my room without issue and I shut the door behind us, hesitating to lock the door before I end up doing exactly that. Well, that escalated my heart rate real quick! Uh...I’ll pretend that it didn’t.
Turning around, I’m ready to ask what brought Preston here so late when I suddenly fall into panic mode. I bolt across the room to snatch the Twilight book Preston found and I was reading earlier. His eyes are wide, looking at me with a questioning gaze that slowly turns to amusement. His lips twitch back into a smile while my legs practically feel like jello.
“You’re reading it?” He asks, his fingers curling in on themselves while slowly lowering his hand to his side.
“N-No!” I answered that far too quickly.
Preston looks to my bedside table then back to me. I do the same, looking behind me to find that The Fault in Our Stars is still sitting by my bed. Shit, I’ve been caught...what the hell do I do now?
“Is there anything else you read?”
“I didn’t read them, I was just uh…looking at them?”
Preston snorts at my poor excuse. I want to snort at my own excuse, that was pathetic!
Before I get the chance to try and come up with another idiotic reason as to why these books are in my room, Preston asks, “Do you like them?”
“Huh?”
“The books.” Preston looks a little nervous, like he’s worried about my answer.
“They’re not really my style,” I admit, my chest practically caving in on itself when Preston’s face falls to show something close to embarrassment. Quickly, I try to explain myself. “But I’m not that great of a reader honestly, gives me a headache and j-just cause I don’t like it doesn’t mean they aren’t good books. They’re really good!”
Preston cocks an eyebrow, showing pure confusion on his face. I get it, I’m confused about my own thoughts but I don’t want Preston to feel bad because I don’t like the same books as him. I still plan on reading them!
“I’m still going to read them though.” I press the book a little closer to my chest, shrugging my shoulders at the quiet gaze Preston has on me once again. “Cause if you like them then...I’d like to read them...too...or something.”
Man I am digging myself into a hole or maybe I’m digging us both into a hole because Preston looks as clueless how to respond to that as I do. His eyes are blinking rapidly, like he thinks he’s in a dream or something. Hell, I do too, maybe this is a coma, a very embarrassing coma that will hopefully end soon I’d really appreciate it.
Grumbling at my own stupidity, I sit the book aside that started this whole mess. I give it a glare too because apparently I am allowed to be angry at an inanimate object. Sighing, I face Preston once more and decide to get onto the real issue here, which is why he’s here so late.
“What happened at home?” I inquire, sitting on my bed while patting the spot next to me signaling for Preston to sit. He hesitates to do so, his fingers twiddling together before him in a childish manner but very cutely. I won’t say that out loud, never ever!
Slowly, Preston sits beside me, leaving a good sized space between us, enough for another person to fit actually. With his head lowered so that his hair hides his eyes, he frowns and takes his time to answer. I don’t blame him, if he left this late to go for a walk to, as he said it, “cool his head” then it was probably pretty bad.
Silence falls between us that is neither comfortable or uncomfortable. It’s simply waiting for Preston to work up the courage to speak, which he eventually does and, with a deep breath he says, “It was an accident.”
“What was?”
Preston reaches up to brush his hair back, facing me to show a slightly red bump on his head. There’s even a scratch that probably bled a decent amount earlier. I close the distance between us in an instant, taking Preston’s face in my hands, which has him blushing up to his ears but I’m a little more focused on his injury. I’ll freak out about his adorable blushing later, there is a more pressing matter!
“They hit you?” I growl, trying to get a better look at his injury.
“It really was an accident-”
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