Ice pricked my skin. The water around me was quickly becoming cold, the heat seeping out of it with time. My eyes were bleary as I stared at the water surrounding me. I was curled into a tight ball, my arms wound around my knobby knees and my mind a muddle of black. Normally, servants would be rushing around to wash my hair and to clean my body, and yet they stood rock-still on the other side of the room, their eyes on the floor. I hated whenever anyone saw my deprived body; it was pitiful.
I breathed out deeply, causing a ripple in the surface of the water. Matters of the empire were heavy on my mind. There was so much to do—I needed to assess valuable documents my spies had acquired, I needed to assess the Generals’ reports along the borders, and I needed to look further into the militaristic aspect of the empire. Ever since General Ahmes committed massacre those several months ago, I had forced myself into the military of my empire. I had thought there was a fine line between being a good leader and being a general. I had thought that allowing the Generals—all of whom were experienced and much better than me at handling militaristic affairs—to do what they thought best, was the best. After all, didn’t Father do the same? He never dabbled too much in the military. However, my bout with Ahmes taught me that my incompetence in any field was the doom of my empire.
Water lapped around me as I stretched my arms in the bathtub. It was becoming alarmingly cold. How long had I been in it? Time seemed to pass at a much faster rate whenever I was housed with my own thoughts. Whether they were depressing, dark thoughts or actual, comprehensive strategies, I lost myself more and more to the depths of my own mind. The servants could do nothing but watch; once, a maidservant had fallen asleep with the amount of time I laid in the bathtub. My eyes flitted over the three maidservants lining the walls. None of them met my eyes. Why would they, anyway? I was the Queen of Blood.
“Your Majesty.” Nauny broke the silence with a single phrase, causing me to stiffly turn to her. She, unlike the maidservants, was sitting on an adorned couch with a withered book in her hand. Her dark hair was clasped and bound behind her head tightly, each hair pressed down immaculately. She was one of my two personal advisors. She snapped the book shut. “We need to discuss matters of Oriksum.”
It annoyed me how her chin was slightly raised so that she could look down at me with her dark eyes. It annoyed me when anyone looked down at me. Whether it was from pure distaste or innocent happenings, it was one of my pet peeves. I wasn’t sure if that was me talking, or the darkness budding at the surface.
I stared at her for a moment before turning my attention towards the ceiling. Oriksum was a small, kingdom-city that wasn’t worth my attention. They were wealthy, yes, but they weren’t exactly my priority since there were pressing tensions from Kadios, the kingdom of war that was always fighting and increasing the strength of their formidable military. I had no need to focus on a small yet very wealthy kingdom-city.
“What of Oriksum?” I asked softly.
“Oriksum and our empire have strained relations, as you may know, since the previous Emperor, your father, had cut trade networks and put a ban on Oriksum and any goods coming from there. That ban was eventually taken down, as you also know, but tensions are still high.”
I laid my arms around the rim of the tub. I ran my fingers over the surface of the water lackadaisically. I had been the one to lift the ban from Oriksum, since I saw the benefits of open trade between that kingdom. We were the Empire of Riches for a reason—we loved business and money. Since Oriksum’s trade was primarily slaves, I knew that they would be smuggled in anyhow, so why not make it legal and make them pay a tax on their goods? After all, they benefited more from this than did Da’al.
“Oriksum wants to open trade between Da’al and they want an alliance.”
My eyes snapped open at that. “I thought we already had open trade with them,” I said slowly, lifting my head to stare levelly at her. “I ensured that trade would occur within our empire and within theirs. It was one of the first things I did as Queen. Are you telling me that no one carried it out? How come I haven’t heard of this?” My voice was becoming increasingly sharp, causing my maidservants to shift uncomfortably.
Nauny barely even blinked. “We do, but it’s become increasingly difficult to bring goods in and out, since merchants from both ends are having difficulty.”
“Difficulty?”
“Bandits,” she said simply. She placed her book on her lap and folded her pale hands together on top of it. “Bandits that are on the border of Da’al and Oriksum are making it difficult. Although I disagree with Ahmes’s actions, he was correct in that the Awanis on the border are disrupting trade and freeing slaves that are being traded between Oriksum and Da’al.”
“Do not talk of Ahmes so freely,” I snapped. I especially hated whenever Nauny talked about him for the good that he had done, or the rationale of his actions. Regardless of what she believed, he had committed an atrocity and was a traitor of Da’al. Maybe if I was as cruel as the rumors said, I wouldn’t have cared whether he killed people or not—after all, that’s what Generals did, didn’t they? And yet, I could find no merit in killing innocent children, women, and men, who had no part in the war nor reason to suffer from Da’al’s attack.
“Yes, yes, I know.”
“Continue,” I said dryly. “What’s this talk of an alliance?”
“There’s pressure between them and Kadios; apparently, Kadios wants to conquer Oriksum.”
“We can’t let that happen,” I said. Other people might have been surprised with that information or even taken aback, but I wasn’t. I wouldn’t have expected anything less from the super militaristic power that was Kadios. They wanted to conquer Oriksum? My only question was: what was stopping them? “Oriksum is wealthy and although I have no interest in it, I don’t want it to fall into that kingdom’s hands.”
“Precisely why we should look into Oriksum.” She smoothed down her dress with her hands before rising to her feet. She tucked the book under her arm. “They’re sending a representative to negotiate and settle everything.”
“Why hasn’t Kadios won Oriksum yet? I don’t think Oriksum stands a chance against Kadios unless we step in.”
“Oriksum has been putting up some resistance and Kadios is reluctant since it knows that we will sweep in at any moment.”
“Ah, I see,” I murmured. The gears in my head were already grinding and ticking. I could practically hear the whirring and clicking. I traced the water with my forefinger listlessly, and my eyes narrowed at the ripples. Being caught up in a war wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but it was almost unavoidable. My finger skimmed over the water and instead of being clear, I was seeing it shift into a darker shade. My eyelids fluttered. It was the darkness, beckoning me. “I really don’t want to deal with Kadios. They’re so . . . militaristically insane, and whenever I have to deal with them, I have to use my brain to its full capacity.” I abruptly stood from the water, shattering the blackness of it. When I blinked, it was clear, normal water.
My eyelids almost fluttered for a moment. I reminded myself to become a doll, a statue, a being void of emotion. It was easier to forget about my responsibilities and the consequences of my actions when I became an analytical, emotionless, harsh woman that only followed logic. It was easier to forget about the blood of five thousand people tainting and clinging onto my hands. When I became a statue or an emotionless doll, I became almost immune to anything and everything that was happening around me. I didn’t want to think too much and I didn’t want to fall into my own dark thoughts.
“Bring me wine,” I murmured as plush towels engulfed me in an embrace as I stepped out of the bathtub. Water streaked the marble floor as I glided along it, a soft towel in one hand as the maidservants patted me dry with the rest. I held my hand out and didn’t even look at the maidservant who placed a glass in my hand. My thoughts were preoccupied with Oriksum and Kadios. Plans ran through my mind on how to deal with those two kingdoms. In the corner of my eyes, I could see shadows swirling and fogging up the room.
It was sometimes hard to ignore the budding darkness. It was like it was always there, hissing at me and telling me to fall within it. It never engulfed me too much so I didn’t pay much attention to it. It was easier to forget about its existence, but it showed its ugly head whenever it deemed it necessary.
“We will welcome the representatives of Oriksum warmly,” I murmured as the walls began dripping with black. I shifted my attention to Nauny. It had become apparent to me several months ago that I was the only one to see the shadows that followed me. It was a secret I kept to myself. “I want them to know the power of Da’al but I don’t want them to feel as though they are helping us. I want them to know that we are doing them a favor by possibly protecting them from Kadios.”
“Of course.”
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