Men can be terrifying. There’s something primal about the way they know just how to hit you in the gut. For some that’s dressing up in blood and gore while zombie-walking through a haunted maze. For others it’s spinning around in circles with a kid in their arms until they both collapse into dizzy giggles. And there’s another group who just smile. It’s this odd little smile that you just somehow know means they’re imagining a hundred ways to make you regret things.
Women, on the other hand, can be vicious. I am absolutely convinced that ‘revenge’ was invented by a woman. They know how to hold a grudge longer than the devil. There’s a reason for the phrase ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.’
Oh, I’m sorry, was that sexist?
So maybe it’s not 100% true, but it does hold generally. Excluding the cinnamon rolls.
I’m not bringing this up to make you feel bad or make you examine your life or anything like that. I’m bringing it up because that’s what happens next. The bits and pieces I managed to pull together with what I knew created a story that showcased every bad gender stereotype in the history of ever. And I fell into a role I hadn’t even considered: the sleeping beauty.
============
“Holly, meet Derrick.”
Holly gave a lopsided grin to the man who’d seen her sweaty armpits while she took down Christmas decorations. “The Caramel Snow Latte, right?” she asked.
“Ah - after you left I changed it to a heart attack in a cup,” Derrick teased back. “And your sister was charming enough that I came back.”
“Liar,” Carol huffed as she grabbed onto her husband’s arm. “You came back because it was seven at night and there weren’t any other coffee shops open.”
“Guilty as charged,” Derrick said.
“And she somehow managed to get you to pretend to be my boyfriend for a night,” Holly countered. “Do I even want to know how many free drinks you’re getting?”
Carol’s husband Nick covered Carol’s mouth before she could answer. “No teasing now, Holly. A blind date is a blind date.”
Holly rolled her eyes. Then she glared at her sister when Carol started doing something to Nick’s hand that had him snatching it back. “Fine then. Shall we get going? The sooner we get started, the sooner we can leave.”
“There’s a flaw in that logic,” Derrick laughed as he took Holly’s hand and led her up to the hostess stand behind Carol and Nick.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a New Year’s party,” Derrick shrugged. “You’re at least stuck with me until midnight.”
Holly hated that he was right. She scooted into the corner booth with her back to the rest of the store and tried not to let her skirt drag on the bench. She’d finally managed to cobble together a modest outfit and she didn’t want to ruin the look.
“So what brings you out this way,” Holly asked after they’d ordered drinks.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re obviously not from here or you wouldn’t have agreed to this.”
“Is it so unusual to get a date?”
“It’s hardly a blind date when you know who I am, and everyone in this town knows what happened.”
“Not everyone, sunshine,” Derrick said as he gave the menu a brief glance. “I’ll admit it’s been a bit since I was in town, but I came about honestly.”
“He’s somehow related to Momma Joan,” Carol supplied.
“Everyone’s related to Momma Joan,” Holly muttered. “She had like 12 kids. And then they all got married and had kids. And now those kids are having kids. I swear, the woman’s 100 and has more family than the Easter bunny.”
They were interrupted by the server and placing orders, and by the time that was finished no one wanted to go back to the subject. “So tell me why a blind date was so urgent your sister had ask the next guy coming in for a caffeine fix,” Derrick teased.
Holly tried her best to breathe easy and not get upset even though she knew her face was bright red. “I didn’t think she could actually find someone who didn’t know. I - uh - got dumped right before Christmas.” She fiddled with her soda, suddenly wishing she’d asked for a shot of rum in it. “My ex was on a business trip and, well, I guess he found true love.”
She wasn’t expecting the hand to close over hers, nor the truly remorseful: “I’m sorry for asking.”
Holly tried to shrug it off. It was still too soon to really talk about.
“He’s back in town,” Nick said, and his face said he was anything but happy about that fact.
“He’s not due back for another week,” Holly countered, shaking her head.
“Sorry, sugar,” Carol disagreed. “But we’re facing the host stand and he’s just getting seated now.”
Holly shrunk down as far as she could manage and hoped it brought her hair below the back of the seat. “Tell me he’s getting seated on the other side of the restaurant.”
“He is,” Nick confirmed after a moment. “We’ll keep an eye out. Hopefully we can leave without him noticing us.”
“Now?” Holly asked with a bit of hope.
“We need to eat first,” Carol said. “No way we’ll last the night without food. He’s on the other side. Just stick close to Derrick and forget we said anything. It’ll be fine.”
Holly lost track of the conversation after that, too obviously distracted by the potential to run into her ex, and the three covered by letting the conversation flow around her. When the food arrived she didn’t even bother eating more than a few nibbles.
“You know, you don’t have to go out,” Derrick whispered in her ear as they were getting ready to leave.
“What?”
“If you want to go home, just go. Or I can take you. You don’t have to do this.”
Holly shook her head. “I promised I’d go to this party. So let’s do it.”
===============
Brave words from a not-so-brave little nanny. I’m not sure what would have been better: going to that party or taking Derrick’s advice and going home. Who would have expected that my biggest challenge of the night wasn’t going to be Jake? He’d frozen me just by walking into the same building and he didn’t even have to do anything. He didn’t even know it.
Like I said: men can be terrifying.
But women are worse.
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