So, considering it was morning before I got home, and I was plagued by negative thoughts that I’d never see Noah again, I got no sleep.
At all.
I literally stared at my ceiling as it got brighter and brighter in my room, holding onto the edge of my blankets for dear life.
Despite that, when I went down to make some coffee for the dead tired bones with me that seemed to be heavier by the minute, I found myself more entranced by the view from the window. And by view, I wasn’t meaning the ocean and sand and pier. I meant the people. And in particular, I was looking for one person.
The longer I looked, the more anxious I felt.
What if we never saw each other again?
How was I supposed to find him?
I only knew his first name and that he has a twin brother somewhere. I didn’t even know if it was an identical twin or not! Or even what the brother’s name was!
Ugh!
When the machine beeped or dinged or made whatever noise that was at me, I jumped. And I realized when I reached for it, that I’d been picking at my nails again.
I sighed, closing my eyes.
Anxiety was bringing all of my bad habits out.
I poured myself a steaming hot cup of coffee and took a sip far too quickly. I sputtered as it burned my tongue.
This was great.
Fantastic.
I set the cup down and put my head in my hands with a groan.
Knock-knock.
I glanced up, my hands dropping to my sides, only to see a sympathetic Jane standing at the entrance to the kitchen.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” I didn’t know what else to say, so I kept it at the one word.
She tentatively stepped closer, heading to the fridge to grab the jug of orange juice.
“How’re you doing?”
I snorted. “I burned my tongue and I didn’t sleep at all. I’m great.”
She winced. “Yeah. I figured.”
After a beat of silence, watching her grab a glass and then drink some juice from it, I found my words – ones I needed to say.
“How long were you and Lee apart the first time?”
Despite realizing they were True Mates, they’d waited until it was too unbearable to wait any longer to complete their bond. She’d mentioned it, but she hadn’t said how long they were apart that first time. I figured it was probably a week, but if I had to give myself a basis on how long I had until I went crazy and needed to sort this out by finding Noah, it would be helpful. Like really helpful.
Jane swallowed the last of the juice in her glass, nodding. She put her hand on the counter and gazed out the window thoughtfully.
“A month.”
I stared at her, slowly becoming more horrified.
A what?
A…
Oh my god.
I was going to be out of my mind.
How the heck…?!
“What?”
How the heck was I even supposed to go a day without seeing Noah?! Especially if last night and this morning was telling me exactly how that would go. Was a burnt tongue and no sleep just the beginning of this? Or, worse yet, what if I actually never saw Noah again?
Was I destined to go insane?
How am I even supposed to find him?
“To be honest, I don’t remember most of it.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
Her words drew me out of my thoughts, thankfully. That wasn’t a train I wanted to board today.
The corner of her mouth quirked up a little and she turned to me.
“My mind was just – it was full of Lee. I mean, we were talking all the time, and I knew he was just a short distance away, and that, I think, made it worse. There were so many times…” She sighed. “I mean, we’d both admitted we were already crushing hard on each other and we liked each other and it was hard not seeing his face and holding his hand and knowing that nothing else could get in between us being together.”
I stayed silent, unsure how to respond. Instead, I found my gaze drifting to the window again, sifting through the people wandering about on the sand.
She nudged my shoulder until I looked at her.
“It’ll be alright.” Then her face lost the hint of a smile. “However, you’re gonna have to pull yourself together for today.”
I let out a small chuckle.
“Yeah, I know.”
I took another sip of the coffee, thankfully not adding more burns to my sensitive tongue.
“Let’s go out before she gets here,” Jane suggested.
And shortly after that, we were out on the beach again. Despite telling myself not to, my eyes seemed to wander everywhere, trying to catch a glimpse of Noah. I half expected him to pop out of thin air.
But he didn’t.
And it wasn’t that I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I was disappointed. Last night had been like magic.
But… he’d also been upset. I could feel it whenever I thought back. By the end of the night, he’d given me real smiles. His eyes had softened. He looked… happier.
And now he was gone.
And I might never see him again.
‘I want to see her again…’
Hm?
How odd. I could’ve sworn I heard a man speaking, but as I glanced around discreetly, nobody was close enough to us to be that loud. I listened a few seconds more, and the voices I did hear were not the same as that low voice.
Odd.
I shrugged it off. Maybe I was imagining things. After all, I didn’t exactly sleep.
My mind drifted over to the negative thoughts again, adding to the little questions I had about Noah, recalling his expressions he’d made a few times as I was talking.
In particular, I kept recalling the way his face fell, his gaze leaving mine, eyebrows twitched back together in the middle of his face… what was that face? What kind of emotion? I tried to recall what I’d been talking about.
Ah.
I was talking about growing up with Jane and her family, growing up with the Blackstone descendants…
Dang.
Was it some kind of painful sadness he’d been feeling? That he didn’t have any family left, and I’d just unknowingly boasted about having a big one? Maybe it was hard for him to hear about other families.
Suddenly, I felt terrible.
And then I spotted a mop of hair that looked similar to Noah, just as I heard a whisper of my name.
‘Kat…’
As I was about to veer off the path with Jane to head his way, the person turned and took me off guard.
Oh.
Not Noah.
Definitely not Noah.
I tried to hide my disappointment, but I knew with the look Jane sent my way, that I’d failed miserably. I tried to ignore her by looking around, only to find I was back to searching the people for Noah.
Again.
It was then that I realized that it was the same low voice that had called my name. Almost as if I had no control of myself, I stopped right where I was and turned to look behind me, as if the person would still be there… or maybe I was seriously imagining things?
“Kat?”
I whipped back around to a surprised and concerned Jane.
“I’m good. Just thought I heard something,” I replied, trying to be chipper and more positive than I was.
She held out her arm and I took it, rolling my eyes.
“What’s this? So I don’t get lost?”
“Pretty much,” she said.
And then I heard it again.
‘Kat was here.’
This time, I didn’t stop walking, but just glanced around a bit.
There really was nobody there. It was all in my head.
And yet, the voice?
It was kind of a nice distraction from missing Noah and expecting him everywhere. It was a deep voice, with a softer edge to it. It wasn’t rough, it was like music, like a sweet melody in my mind.
Even if I had no clue why it was there.
Or what the heck it was saying such random things for.
But that was fine…
At least, that’s what I told myself.
It was fine.
It was the weirdest comforting thing I had, but at this point, going crazy versus the odd comforting voice in my head were my only options.
Voice in my head won big time.
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