I glanced at Garak out of the corner of my eye. He had stopped staring at me and was staring at the rocks beside us, chewing on a yeast roll. I wished I knew what he was thinking. He was acting strangely out of character this morning, and I was curious about the evident change.
Was this Joust a personal vendetta for me, keeping a promise he made so many years ago, or was he interested because he wanted to change his life? Was I a pawn, or was I a treasure?
The questions continued to rage through my mind as we finished breakfast in relative silence. The juice was good, as well, with just enough sweetness and tartness to tickle your taste buds. It was also just the way I loved it, pulpy and thick. Some people may not like to chew their juice, but I loved the texture.
Garak cleared his throat a little and spoke. “I remember how we used to play here. You skinned your knee on that rock over there. Do you remember that?” He pointed over to the edge of the rock pile and smiled at me out of the corner of his eye.
Looking that way, I could almost see the memory playing itself out. We had been playing leapfrog from rock to rock, and I had tripped on the last one before we made it to the ground.
“You ripped your shirt to make me a bandage. Your mom was so mad at you.”
I giggled, and he chuckled a little.
“She told me that she was proud of me after you left, though,” he said, pausing a little like he might be struggling with himself. Then he said, “Taking care of you made me happy.”
Startled, I turned to stare at him with wide eyes. He was looking down into his lap, but slowly and with effort, he raised his eyes to stare into mine. Once again, I saw that little boy in his eyes, heart open and bleeding in front of me. I suddenly felt myself reaching a hand out to him as we stared at one another. He took it in his own and rubbed it a little, looking down at it like he couldn’t believe it was there.
“Nay,” Garak spoke softly, still not looking at me. “I’ve been so unhappy for so long.”
What do I say to that? I asked myself.
Suddenly, I caught the sound of Coran and Shoa shuffling around behind me. One cleared his throat a little.
“Milady, it is time to meet with the Elders this morning,” Shoa said.
I carefully extracted my hand from Garak’s and regained my composure.
“I’ve got to go.”
Garak nodded a little and looked back at me. That broken look was still there… shattered… needing. He said nothing, but the look said everything.
“We’ll talk soon, Gar,” I told him, using my own childhood nickname.
He nodded.
***
I’m confused. Titrus said from inside my waist bag.
“I know, me too,” I whispered.
“What was that, milady?” Coran said as he turned toward me.
“Nothing, just thinking to myself,” I stuttered.
Sorry! I felt him move a little. It’s just I was under the impression that Garak was a monster, but he is acting so strangely! What is going on? And what are we going to do?
I brought my hand up and patted the bag a little to hush him. Looking around, I wondered if I looked like half the imbecile that I felt like—talking to myself and patting myself for no reason. Well, it didn’t matter. I just needed to figure this out.
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