I wish she was here.
A strong shake on my shoulder startled me out of my thoughts. I turned to face the nurse who was speaking to me. She appeared to be even more terrified than before. What happened!?
“I'm very sorry kid, we have lost your father,” she squatted to reach my eyesight. When I looked around, I noticed that my aunt and grandmother were frail and pale. When they locked eyes with me, they had the same hatred look on their face. My aunt quickly moved her gaze to the tall, suited man in front of her. He shook her hands and approached me. He stood next to the nurse, she cleared her throat, almost tripping, when she stood up and left.
The man looked at me strangely, with no expression on his face. “I'm sorry about your father, kid.” He looked at my aunt, and I swear I saw a fearful look escape her frowned eyes. He walked away without saying anything else.
My papa
is gone! Why? I didn't say goodbye. I didn't mean to hurt him. I finally
stood up, eager to see my aunt, who was still standing in front of the nurses'
front desk. “Where are you going?” she said angrily as she raised her hand to
stop me.
“I just want to see Papa...” She raised her hand once more.
“You've done more than enough! What a shame!” She said this as she grabbed all the papers from the nurses' hands, which were still terrified and pale, matching her blonde hair.
I tried to speak again, closing the gap between us, but was cut off when my grandmother's hand grabbed my forearm roughly. “We're leaving for Morocco, and I don't want to hear your voice until then.”
I looked at the nurse, hoping she could help and save me, as she said she would. Even though I do not deserve to be saved. But… I just want to see Papa one last time. The nurse refused to look me in the eyes and instead turned to my aunt, informing her that his body would be delivered to the airport in two days.
My aunt signed the final papers required from her, giving the hospital permission to move papa's body and fly him to Morocco for burial.
I can't believe what I'm hearing. I lost him.
It's my fault.
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