You would think I would learn my lesson,
When I changed my pants,
For respect,
I thought it was because this was for something memorable.
But, it was all in my head,
I should have kept those striped Seahawks jammys on,
When I walked to the classroom,
All I saw was everyone else,
And what I laughed about with my friends,
It’s replaced by the next Freshmen.
I thought this was a place where I found a great instructor,
There really isn’t a first, just what I was grasping onto for the sake of familiarity.
And now, nothing left in those hallways are holding me back,
And when the influx of students crowd the hallways,
I blink, back to when I was forced to go through these hallways,
I grasped my textbooks closely to my chest,
Because these people were going to push me out, and nobody would see.
When I arrived to each class,
I felt the blood rush out of my head,
The teacher had many students, and they never enjoyed my sleepy presence,
But it was not for a lack of trying,
The classroom atmosphere was so suffocating,
My head needed an escape, and there was nowhere left to go except the corner of the ceiling,
Where dragons and fairies existed,
I blinked, and I was running through a treasure trove of trees,
The perky grass under my feet,
On one of the timelines, I developed an athlete's foot.
The deafening school bell, releasing the hoard,
And on the edge of existence, a hand wave, a cherry smile,
I’d escape the mainstream, to a creek, where we were safe, and my heart beat slowed,
Not for love, but a friendship that pulled me out from the current.
Too bad one’s in Texas, two are in Pennsylvania, and others are planning to travel abroad.
Everyone in my life has sprinted ahead.
I can’t help but feel the roots being pulled out,
Is there anywhere I can feel a connection,
I’ve built a temporary shelter last year,
And now, I have scraps of metal left.
Sometimes I look to social media where everyone is enjoying their senior year,
And all I want to do is graduate.
This is going to be their best year,
But I’m alone, at home.
And I can’t help but wonder if this is all I am going to be doing,
In college, and in the workplace,
Waiting to run farther away from what I know for a hope of feeling a part of this world.
Maybe I’ll die alone.
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