I look up from my phone to see Jenna flying towards the park entrance looking worried. I watch as she jumps off her bike and checks the sign stating that you can take bikes through the park but cannot been ridden through it before glancing at her phone. A look of relief washes over her face and I wonder what she was worried about. I turn my phone off and take my earphones out. Then I stand up and start to wave. It takes a second before she sees me, but when she does her face lights up and she waves back. She glances again at the bike sign and then starts to walk towards me. I make a quick decision to leave my stuff where it is and walk towards her, and we meet halfway.
“Hey!” I say.
“Hey!” She says with the same enthusiasm. She looks genuinely happy to see me, which is more than I can say for most people. She looks so pretty next to the autumnal background behind her. But something looks different. It takes me a second to pinpoint it.
“You’ve put makeup on!” She blushes, as if she’s embarrassed that I noticed so quickly. I immediately feel bad, and rush to reassure her. “It looks… you look really pretty! Not that you don’t usually! I really like how-” I blush, wondering how I managed to get so flustered so quickly and easily, and why. Why am I so flustered?
Because you’re making a fool of yourself, dummy. The Voice says.
I am very aware of that, thank you! I think back. Jenna chuckles, bringing my attention back to her. I quietly clear my throat and looks down, embarrassed.
“Sorry.” I look up again and immediately meet her eyes. The same thing happens as yesterday; I can’t hear anything and everything around us is blurred out. It’s just us in our bubble. I don’t know if she can feel the same thing, but I feel safe in our bubble. It feels like time stops. I don’t know if we’ve been here seconds, minutes, or hours, but I don’t mind. She breaks away first, looking at the floor. I’m relieved, but also disappointed. We look at each other again and start laughing. I don’t know why, and I don’t think Jenna does either, but it takes us a while to stop laughing. I lead her over to the tree and as I sit down, she throws down the kickstand and comes to sit next to me.
“You were right, this is really nice.” She says, and inside I am beaming because she remembered what I said and agrees with me! She probably doesn’t even realise how happy that makes me. She’s an amazing person!
Aww, you crushing on her? The Voice teases me. I’m confused.
Of course not! I’m not gay, and even if I was, she’s not. She’s my friend. And is taken! She has a boyfriend! I’m surprised at The Voice’s suggestion.
That was a big answer. You sound quite defensive. Why’s that? It’s still taunting me and is putting me off.
Leave me alone! I yell in my head.
Okay, okay! It chuckles as it fades. Good. I hope it never comes back. Its last question lingers in my head though. I push it out of my head. I turn towards Jenna and see that she’s staring into space. I gently touch her wrist and we both jump. It was almost like an electric shock ran through me from my finger where I touched her. Except it didn’t hurt. It leaves me feeling… excited, I guess? I don’t know how else to describe it. My whole body tingles, but my finger feels like it has pins and needles, again without the pain. I almost enjoy it. I’m confused. The rule of dating There should be a spark runs through my mind. I’m not gay. I wonder if she felt it too. I hope so. I brush it off. I’ve forgotten what I was originally going to ask her. I try to think of something and see my headphones laying on the floor between us. I pick them up and offer one of the ear buds to her. She smiles and takes it. I hope the next song is one she likes. It starts.
"No way! You listen to her too!” I don’t know if I’ve been happier. We have the same music taste! The ghost of our electric shock tingles. I lay down, and she does the same. We don’t say anything for a bit, just listening to music, but then we start talking, and the conversation flows. We never seem to run out of things to say, and nothing feels forced or fake. We get hot chocolate in the café and stay there a couple of hours, warming up. Then Jenna has an idea.
“Do you want to go for a ride?” She points towards her bike. My heartbeat increases. Being on the same bike would mean being really close to her.
“Okay!” She swings her leg over the saddle and sits on the seat before adjusting herself so I could get on. I step forward, take a deep breath, and put one of my hands on each of her shoulders. I try and swing my leg over, but somehow lose my balance and start to fall towards the concrete pavement. I feel a tight grip on my wrist and a tug on my arm. It takes me a second to process everything, but when my brain catches up, I’m hovering two inches above the ground. I twist my body upward to see Jenna holding my arm. The kickstand is down and she’s balancing one leg, the foot caught on the bike to steady herself.
“I don’t know if I can pull you up, so I’m going to slowly lower you down.” She’s taking charge. I start to move towards the floor, and once I’m there, I start laughing. I’m laughing because I fell. I’m laughing because I’m on the floor. I’m laughing because I’m happy. She starts laughing too, and soon we’re laughing so hard it hurts. Eventually we recover, and we have the idea that she gives me a piggy-back and then gets on the bike.
“I don’t want to hurt you though.” I protest.
“I’ll be fine! Come on!” She insists. “If you don’t jump on, I’ll pick you up and carry you.” I jump on at that point because she seems so sure that she wants me to ride with her. She staggers slightly but walks towards her bike. I hold on tighter, and she swings her leg over the saddle again, nearly falling and sending us both over. Once I’m sitting on the seat, I release my grip a little. She pushes off, and we’re flying. I grip tighter again. It’s freeing. She cycles along the roads, and I watch as the town blurs past us. We reach a small park with monkey bars, a slide, and a swing set. I’m about to let go to get off when she says, “hold on” and gets off her bike with me on her back. She walks towards the nest swing and swings me off her back and round so she is carrying me.
“Put me down!” I laugh. I try to get down, but she just holds me tighter.
“What if I don’t want to?” She laughs back. We head towards the swing, and my whole body tingles again. She puts me down so that I am laying down in the swing, and she jumps in. I sit up as she lays down. I lay down again, and I feel her hand hold mine.
You’re holding hands The Voice says You would make such a good couple!
Shut up!
You need a spark It says, and you have a spark. You’re crushing on her!
Shut up! I think.
I’m definitely not gay. I’m not gay. I’m not gay.
Am I?
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