May 13, 2009.
12:18 pm.
I wish our life stayed perfect, like living in a rerun of a black and white sitcom.
But life doesn't always go our way, does it?
At my job, I received a phone call that my husband was in the emergency room. I began to panic, and immediately left to go pick up Blake from school.
As we drove to the ER, I tried my best to explain to Blake.
“Why’s he in the hospital?!?? What happened?!??” He asked.
“I don't know Blake, please…”
We got there and waited for news on my husband’s status.
Apparently, some drunkard was carelessly driving and ended up hitting Aaron on the highway.
“Do you think he’s okay, mom?” Blake asked me.
I was lost in my head, unable to answer him.
“Mom?” He tried again, shaking my shoulder and pulling me out of my trance.
“Sorry dear, what was that?” I said.
“I said, do you think he’s okay?” Blake asked me.
“Your father is a fighter. He’s been through a lot. A car accident shouldn't be fatal to him.”
We waited for 2 hours.
Then the doctor came out.
“I’m so sorry.” Was all that he could say before I broke into tears. Blake sat in shock.
They tried everything, but the damage was irreversible at that point. The drunk ass motherfucker who crashed into his car killed both himself and Aaron.
Me and Blake walked into the room, seeing his body covered up.
The nearby nurses and doctors were both sad for us.
I lifted the cover to at least get one last look at his face.
The accident left him completely unrecognizable. Blake was coming behind me to try and get a look, but I stopped him. No one at his age should see his poor father scarred and mutilated.
We said our goodbyes and I fell to my knees, screaming and crying. Blake still seemed to be in shock. This was a lot to take in, after all. The reality of the situation didn't hit him yet.
The nurses comforted me and Blake, before quietly escorting us away.
I was a widow now.
June 21, 2009.
3:37 pm.
Without Aaron's income, we couldn't afford the house we were staying in.
I managed to find a nice house in a little town named Norville, about 3 hours away. I eventually had to break the news to Blake.
I felt absolutely awful seeing my son's face melt into deep sadness, knowing he was about to lose Nate right after losing his father. I comforted him the best I could, but I know the damage I was causing my son was going to be irreversible.
As I was putting the last box in the moving van, I looked over at Blake and Nate talking for the final time.
Blake was completely breaking down, sobbing and unintelligable.
Blake and Nate shared one last kiss as I was locking the door to our old house, officially closing the best chapter of my life.
Nate and his parents waved goodbye to me and Blake as our van drove out of the neighborhood.
Turning onto the highway, the music of the radio was drowned out by Blake's sobs and cries.
Tears streamed down my face as I tried my best to comfort my son and tell him everything would be okay.
But even I was unsure of the future ahead myself.
Why was all of this happening to me? Was I being punished? I don't understand....
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