The next day I go to school. Mom drives me there, and we still don't talk. Mom is angry with me; she squeezes a steering wheel from time to time and avoids looking at me. I think that maybe I just should say... something. But I keep my mouth shut. I don't know what to say or how to say it. I don't want her to know about shining just like I didn't want her to know about Logan beating me. She won't understand me; she won't help me. And she has a lot on her plate too. So I guess I just need to manage on my own.

And after two weeks, I think we'll be ok. More or less.

I get out of the car, and mom leaves. I breathe out and pull the hood over my head to hide from everyone. Now I have a big patch over the left side of my face. I come to the class and quickly take my seat not looking at anyone.

I hear Logan's voice behind my back though. He talks to his friends at the end of the room. I don't mean to eavesdrop, but I just can hear them.
 
"What the fuck, dude? You've been waiting for the party and bailed on us..." It's Mitch's voice.

"I was busy, dude," Logan mocks him. My ears start burning. I'm glad I have a hood over my head.

"With what?"

"Stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Good stuff," Logan grins.

"Oh, come on. Nina's been asking about you all night. And your phone was out!"

"I didn't know you cared so much!" Logan exclaims facetiously. "I just got stoned and watched TV all night, that's all. As I said, it was good stuff!"

"Son of a..."

The teacher, Mrs. Kerry, comes in and stands in front of us. She throws a glance at me.

"Stone, take it off."

I obediently pull the hood off.

"What happened to you?" Surprised, Mrs. Kerry asks, drawing everyone's attention to me.

"Got into an accident," I answer dryly. Mitch and a couple of other Logan's friends chuckle. I don't know what Logan's reaction is. I try not to think about him. But it's hard as hell. I keep returning to yesterday. And I keep either reliving this moment when we were bound or asking myself - why he did it? Why on earth did he want to kiss me?

The answer is actually simple.

It's the shining.

And the same answer goes to the question "Why did I enjoy it that much?"

But I feel ashamed anyway. And... it worries me.

Logan can't beat me, because it will hurt him too. But he can kiss me. And shining doesn't count it as an assault! It means he can...

"Douglas and Stone." Mrs.Kerry's voice distracts me from my thoughts. "You must be in the detention class after recess for skipping school yesterday. Unless you have a good reason." She turns her eyes to Logan. "With proofs."

Isn't it just great?

I keep avoiding Logan all day. At recess I don't go to my usual spot behind the bleachers, I make a circle around the school. Logan can find me of course, I just hope he won't. I hope his friends keep him distracted with all the details of the party and that Nina girl.

I feel a cool sting in my chest. I turn the corner and peek inside my t-shirt. My shining is in place, and the color is the same. Maybe I'm just imagining things...

After recess, I go to the detention class. Mr. Jones looks me up and down, purses his lips, and points me to a desk. Logan comes a little after me. He sits right behind me. It spurs my heart, and it starts pounding.

His lips... his tongue...

No, no, no, stop!

I feel a slight poke in my spine.

"Hey..." Logan whispers. I lean back. "How was it yesterday?"

I turn red. I think I'm boiling inside.

"Mr. Douglas!" Mr. Jones interrupts Logan. "Change your seat." He points to the other end of the room. Logan reluctantly with thuds and clatter gets up and goes to the appointed place. I'm so thankful to Mr. Jones. I take a deep breath, trying to ignore the huge part of me that is actually upset that Logan is far away now.

I try to focus on my homework. And it goes hard as ever when a crumpled piece of paper falls on my desk. I glance at Logan, and he nods and smiles. I look at Mr. Jones who seems to be busy reading something on his phone. I take the paper and look inside.

It's a number. A telephone number obviously.

I don't even start to think about it when someone enters the class. It's Mrs. Kerry. She says something to Mr.Jones; he nods lazily, then looks at me.

"Stone, you may leave."

"...Okay." I put my things away and, still not looking at Logan, leave the classroom. Mrs. Kerry walks two steps ahead.

"Your mother called. You should have said that you were in the hospital."

"Yes."

"She's waiting for you outside."

"Thanks."

Walking out the door, I see mom's car parked nearby. I approach it and take a passenger seat in the back.

"How do you feel?" Mom asks. I'm surprised she started to talk. She can remain silent for a long time.

"I'm fine."

She looks at me through the rear-view mirror.

"Look, Adam. You have to understand me. You've never been like that. And I just don't know what to do."

"I... understand..." I look at my hands, at the piece of paper with Logan's number on it. "And really... you should not be worried. I mean... I did fight, okay... And Logan didn't do it to me."

"We need to go to the police," she says.

"Mom, it didn't happen at school. And I don't remember their faces. And I'm fine, I swear. The bruise will be gone soon. I don't have a concussion. But I don't want to go to the police, okay?"

"There was more than one?" She asks shocked. "We definitely need to go to the police."

"I'm telling you I didn't see their faces. So it will be pointless."

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you lie?"

I lower my eyes again.

"I don't know," I finally say. "I just... I'm sorry I lied."

Mom purses her lips. She looks genuinely upset, but there is nothing to add.

She drops me off at home and goes to her work. I come home, change, eat dinner and return to my bedroom... ...to stare at the piece of paper with Logan's number.

I let my thoughts stream freely as if I want to listen to all the sides before making a decision.

A part of me is happy. We are getting actually close! He gave me his number, he wanted to know about yesterday. He wants to chat maybe? He kissed me... I kissed him back, but...

Oh, hell, I kissed him back... I really did... I can't explain myself why. Why it was so good? Would it be like that with anyone? What if it was Logan but without shining?

Oh, stop! My head is gonna explode!

Ok, screw the feelings. I can't trust them. The shining has messed with them. What do I know?

I never liked Logan before shining. I can't say I hated him, but it was close. I was afraid of him. I was beaten by him.

I'm not sure if I'm gay but... I'm sure that all this is only because of shining. And maybe I'm old-fashioned. Maybe shining is just a new kind of love. Like a visible form of love. But I don't like it one bit. It feels wrong.

Maybe if it wasn't Logan... if it was someone else... who didn't treat me bad... or maybe even someone I don't know! Love at first sight, okay, I can take it. But this...

I crumple the paper and send it flying across the room to the bin not caring to check if I hit the target. I try to relax. I want to be healed.

In the middle of the night, I hear a tap. Then another one. My chest is pleasantly warm, and my shining is bright. I get out of bed and look out of the window. There's Logan standing on the lawn. He waves at me, I open the window and stick out.

"Come down," he says and gestures to me. I shake my head. Logan points at himself and gestures up. I shake my head again; he frowns. He shows me the phone, I shake my head again. He is irritated. I can see it, and I can feel it, but I hold on.

"It's late. And I'm really tired," I say not too loud. "Let's talk tomorrow."  And I close the window.

Honestly, I wasn't going to talk tomorrow. I was actually going to start avoiding Logan again but not too obvious. Shining gets stronger if we are getting close - I figured that much. If we are too much apart, shining drains the strength out of the body. So for now, before I come up with a better plan, I need to stay reasonably close to Logan. But not too close. It should be enough for shining not to eat me away, but not too much, so I wouldn't become addicted and delirious.

And I could call this plan a good one, but... There is a part in it I can't control. I don't think Logan will cooperate. It's just a hunch... Maybe after the kiss, I can read his mind a bit? No, not really. But he... acts... not like a person who wants to get rid of it...

"Fuck it and have a good time." Wasn't it what he said to me? I don't know if he's gay (I think bi is a more accurate term since I've seen him with girls), and how much he's ready to go with a flow... but we are on different pages. So it would not be wise to reveal to him everything. Looks like I need to hide from him again, but this time not from beating... but from kisses.