Today is cloudy. I'm sitting closer to the bleachers than usual to get shelter from the rain. I'm a little cold. But for the last 4 days, I have been constantly cold. I didn't get much sleep, although I'm sleepy all the time.

But I endure. Logan sticks to the deal, and I'm thankful for his efforts. I try to sit as far away from him as possible, try not to look at him or even think about him. It's not easy. So far I only feel worse.

I lean back against the metal beam. The cold prevents me from dozing off. And I can't sleep at home. When I get close to Logan, this feeling causes both craving and relief at the same time. And I try to ignore it. I'm trying to convince myself that this is like withdrawal. I need to overcome this, and then it will become easier. And if I allow myself to fall into the warm shining again, I will have to start over.

When recess comes to an end, I reluctantly get up and go to class. It's PE. I move sluggishly; I run slower than everyone else. Even before, I was not a sports star; now it's so much worse. But I'm not the only underdog...

Logan trudges along at the end, too, sometimes yawning. I chuckle to myself. Well, at least I'm not the only one suffering. No, stop, it's better not to think that. Don't get close physically or mentally. Let's see how long shining will last on a starvation diet.

Only after a couple of days, I wonder - will I last? The shining has not diminished. It just doesn't pulsate. But in the presence of Logan, my chest begins to tingle, as if shining wants to show me where my half is. I'm such a fool and suffer for no reason when he is so close. Oh, silly me... Sorry, shining, you got the wrong guy... You don't know it yet, but I'm trying to kill you.

What if shining can understand my thoughts? When I think bad about Logan, shining hurts me...

I lower my gaze to my chest. Feeling stupid as ever, I say, "Just go away. Fade! Go find someone else. You'll get nothing from me. You set me up with the worst possible person. It's not happening. So pick up your glowing germs or whatever and get lost."

But shining remains. Not that I expected it would be that easy. Still worth a try.

Today is Sunday, and I can't get out of bed at all. I just lie there and look at the pinkish glow on my chest. I don't know what else to do...

"Adam?" Mom's voice comes from the corridor. "Adam, are you still sleeping?"

I don't answer, hoping she'll think I'm sleeping in. I can't do any chores now.

"Adam?" Mom knocks on the door and, without waiting for my answer, comes in. I lie with my eyes closed, covered with a blanket up to my neck. Mom comes closer and touches my forehead. "Are you sick?" She asks softly. I open my eyes.

"No, just tired," I reply.

"Are you sure? You've been kind of pale lately..." She runs her hand over my cheek. "Maybe something happened?"

I imagine for a second that I just throw the blanket aside and show her my shining chest. As I said, my parents don't shine. So they won't understand. And when I will have to tell her the reason for my shining... no, I don't even want to think about it...

"I have tons of homework," I lie.

"Are you sure it's not because you stay late and play video games?" Mom asks, squinting. I just breathe out.

"Yes... that too."

She won't understand me. So it's better if she has a simple and plausible explanation.

"Ok, have some rest. I'm going to the mall; do you want something?"

To my surprise, I realize that I don't want anything at all. But, in order to not disturb my mother any further, I say what I usually say, "Banana bars".

Mom smiles, nods, and leaves the room.

What if shining ones really die if they refuse to be together...? It's a little scary to think about. I wonder if the distance between me and Logan was even greater... if I went to another city, would it weaken and disappear?

And the next day I kind of decide to test this idea. After school, I had no desire to go home. I started to believe that even being in the same class with Logan was reducing all my efforts to nothing because during classes I felt how shining was replenished drop by drop. And because of this, I feel an almost irresistible desire to get close to Logan and finally feel the warmth that will wash away the fatigue. But instead, I leave the school and walk in the opposite direction from my house and Logan's house. I don't even understand what I'm doing and why; I just force myself to move my legs, wandering around the streets where I have never been.

I don't notice how dusk falls. I can't think clearly, but I don't even bother to ask myself the question - where am I and how can I get back home? It's like I don't care.

And when I find myself on a deserted street, sandwiched between shabby houses, I don't even have the thought that being here at such an hour is a bad idea.

...and they noticed me first... I used to be a good runner... I used to be alert...

"Hey kid, are you lost?" The first voice reached my ears, and I look up, but the alley is dark. Maybe I have voices in my head now? What other side effects of shining are there?

Someone tugs at my backpack, but I resist. And then I get hit right under the nose, my eyes immediately filled with tears, and I go completely blind. The next blow knocks me off my feet. My backpack is ripped off, and I hear my things falling to the ground next to me with a thud and rustle.

Obviously, they don't find what they want. Therefore, they amuse themselves by slapping me in the face, laughing, and shouting insults.

"You're a junkie or just a retard?" taunts one of the voices, lifting me from the ground by the collar. And apparently, then he notices the shining. He cackles, he is supported by the others - there are two or three of them. I can't be more precise because I can't see them.

"Wow, we have a firefly here!" I feel someone's hand jerking open my jacket. "Have you come looking for your soul mate here?" Again rude laughter, and I feel a touch on my skin. Even though I don't have the strength, I push his hand back and get another hit in my face. Familiar sensations. And it's not very timely. Because now the chest starts to burn. Like I'm my own worst enemy.

I'm trying to escape from the tenacious hands. And probably... probably I shouldn't have. My resistance only angered them. And the blows rain down on me again. I try to huddle up, but I still get a kick to the face and almost lose consciousness. Or maybe I lost it. I don't know.

I wonder if they'll get bored, or I'll die here, in this dirty alley?

A punch to the stomach knocks the air out of me. And all thoughts.

And suddenly it comes to replace the pain... The shining. How long have I not felt such warmth? It was only a week, but it seems like an eternity. My shining is getting brighter, more noticeable. And it pulsates.

But how can Logan be here?

They stop beating me. Obviously, these guys noticed a change. They are talking, but my head is so buzzing that I can't make out the words.

Then I hear screams, thuds, more screams... but no one touches me anymore. And then everything lapses into silence.

My consciousness is gradually clearing up, which cannot be said about vision. I try to tear my face off the ground and look around. I can't open one eye...

Shining has another benefit - I do not feel pain so sharply. It should be advertised as a pain reliever.

"Adam?" Logan's face emerges from the darkness above me. And I'm ready to burst into tears. He has a few bruises on his face, the collar of his jacket is torn, and I can see his pulsating glow and a metal stick in his hand. He helps me to my feet, then picks up my scattered belongings, puts them in the backpack, and hesitantly hands it to me. I take it with one hand, but I understand that I can't shoulder it, so I keep it in front of me.

"Thank you," I say. "I'll go".

I press my hand to my chest, breathing in fits and starts - my ribs hurt. I can't walk straight. What does my face look like?

"Hey, where are you going to go?" I hear behind me; Logan is catching up with me. "I have no one at home right now, we can... fix you up."

I turn to him. I'm sure half of my face is terribly swollen and will soon turn purple.

"How do you imagine fixing it?" I raise my voice. "Leave me alone! You beat me before! And someday you would beat me to this state! I don't need your pity now!"

I am hurting, I am overwhelmed by conflicting emotions. Logan helped me, maybe even saved me, but for some reason, I blame him, as if he did this to me. I do not know why. It's my own fault for getting into this mess. I just didn't know what else to do.

I feel Logan is following me. He is at a distance. His presence keeps me warm, and I feel relatively safe. Hell, maybe I'm able to walk only because he is behind my back.

I go out into the wide street.

"A bus stop is on your right," Logan says. Without turning around, I go to the right, to the bus stop, where I get on the bus. Logan does too, he sits away from me. But I no longer see the point in this... I think my idea did not work... or it didn't have enough time to work, but today the "timer" seems to have reset to zero, and I need to start all over again. I don't even have the strength to think about it.

I get off the bus, Logan is still following me. And it dawns on me that the only answer to the question "How did Logan end up in that alley?" is "He followed me". He was at a great distance but followed me all the way.

Why?

I stop in front of my house. Damn... if mom sees me like this... Out of the corner of my eye, I see Logan standing nearby, watching me. I feel trapped.

I turn and look at Logan; he comes closer.

"You said... nobody's at your place?.." I say with difficulty. Logan nods. I glance at my house, sigh, and follow Logan to his house.