I blink, and I am standing on the balcony overlooking the great dining hall. There is a huge feast laid out down below, several hundreds of silver platters and bronze candlesticks. Bright red festoons hang from the ceiling, glittering like the wings of an angel. There is a sound of delight and the smell of violet-tinted happiness all around, knights dressed in their decorative uniforms and the ladies are a magnificent sight to behold; dressed in bright silks and fur. Their hair sways behind their backs like a curtain of soiled ink, transfixing my gaze to the centre of the hall where they sit on small circular tables, sipping wine and smiling to the string quartet’s harmonies. I stand on the balcony, looking downwards. For a moment, I think I have worn a gorgeous dress too but no, the dress is white and so dull that I would be the laughingstock of today’s event if I step down.
And, is this really a book?
“Tara,” my brother calls behind me and I turn, “I thought you decided to not come.” He is wearing his mask, a half broken porcelain mask that hides the entire left side of his face and both his eyes and complete forehead. Are people of our Duchy really so foolish? If I were in place of my brother and the Ministers didn’t recognize me even after wearing that mask, I would have let them go.
“I wanted to see something fun too,” I say sweetly. Or rather, my character says sweetly. I am extremely puzzled right now. “Isn’t this so beautiful?” It could have been more beautiful if I was wearing a maroon dress. An embroidered one. “I feel like I have seen everything in my life now, Brother. Thank you so much for showing me this.”
A look of hurt flashes on Tayash’s face. “Don’t say such things,” his fingers curl around the marble bannister as he steals away his eyes, “as if you are going far away.”
Am I… supposed to go far away?
“You are already so sick and your body… whenever I see you I feel like I could not protect you. Apologising a thousand times would not account for what I have done to you.”
His apology made my shivers all the more worse. It sounds ominous, like something is going to happen, and that it is bad. But, we are all inside a romance novel and the heroine has the worst of it all. Dead mother, emotionally distant or abusive father, a brother who rarely talks, a friend who is, well… down below, Daphne is bullying a girl with three other ladies. A blood condition and a frail body. Well, I suppose it won’t be that bad when I meet my Prince Charming. Who will it be?
“Don’t say that,” I pat my brother’s hand, “you did nothing wrong. Maybe God made me this way. Maybe it is his way of saying things.”
Today my brother is dressed in a black suit with gold fringes on his shoulder pads, and a topaz brooch attached on his cravat. His black cape flutters behind him, and a gold chain fixes the ends on his shoulders, going twice across his chest. For today, even Adam is in a fitted maroon and black suit with a black cape and silver chains. Gemstones are studded in his cuff buttons and his hair is swept away from his face tastefully. General Adam Rosenmund would be the talk of the town, considering how dashingly handsome he looks. His eyes meet mine but then he forces his head down instantly.
No, no it isn’t him. Adam can’t be my love interest. That man is suited only for battlefields and for some reason… I don’t want to like him.
“You are impossible to argue with.” My brother raises his hand and smooths out the side of my head. His hand feels cold after sitting on the bannister for so long. "Just stay healthy, Tara. This is all I ask of you."
The scene ends with a soft gush of wind, and I slump over the bannister. The wound isn’t there. Stein bit me, and I am sure I saw a deep wound. Worse than a dog bite. I wouldn't get rabies would I… wait, I frown, what are rabies?
"Tara?" My brother takes my wounded hand on his own. "Is something the matter?"
"We are in a story book." I blurt out. "Me, you, Adam, Daphne down below, everyone. Nothing is real. Everything is written and we are behaving like the writer wants us to!"
Tayash chuckles. "What are you saying? Looks like you read a lot."
"No!" I snatch my hand away and run to Adam. "Ask him where I was on my birthday. Do it!"
Tayash sighs. "Where was she, Adam?"
Adam frowns. His eyes flit from right to left and his hand moves to the hilt of his sword. He then looks up, mouth opening and closing like a dying fish. "I… I do not know, your Grace."
"What your Grace," my brother exhales a quiet chuckle, "drop the formalities."
"This isn’t the battlefield where you are my equal. You are the Duke Regent and I your commander, we are not equals here."
They completely ignored me. I blink. They don't even react to the meaning of my words. Tayash is my brother and Adam is my babysitter, they should take the weight of my words! Are they like that because they are minor characters who will come up less and less in the text when I meet my beloved? No… for Adam it might work, but Tayash is my brother. How can I forget him?
"Taraaa!" A female voice pierces my ears and I turn around sharply, only to see Daphne rushing over to me. But as she approaches me, she turns slightly at an angle and falls straight on Tayash's chest.
What the…
"Oh my," the girl gasps audibly, all the while pushing my brother further down. What is it with women and my brother? Is he a mattress for people to fall down on? "I fell down. I apologise for showing you how clumsy I am."
"Hey," I cry, "Lady Wurtz, you totally did that on purpose!"
A beat of silence. No one looks at me. "Hey!" I yell crudely, but Daphne is busy gawking at Tayash, Tayash is busy dusting and wiping his sleeves and Adam is busy counting the specks of dust on the ceiling.
"This world is inside a story! Do you hear me, Duke Regent Somerhaden? You aren’t real! And I—"
"—am the heroine…” The page turns and the scene changes. This time, I am standing near one of those tables and it looks like the feast already ended. Without me being able to eat a morsel.
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