Journal entry of Josephine Utterson.
September 15, 1874. That was unexpected... I wasn't really planning to cut myself that day, it was an accident. (And it was with a resigned butter knife, God, I'm really very clueless.)
At least this gave me a crucial clue for my little diary ...
- The blood on fabrics does not seem to affect him, nor does he look at it directly?
All this time I believed that his problem was a fear of blood in general, like looking at it or smelling it, but now ... I am beginning to suspect that perhaps his fear was simply because of the amount he saw that day? Or maybe ...
...
... I think I have the perfect solution for this, yes, yes! After all these days; I think I finally have the solution!
September 16, 1874.
- "I'm not going to drink that."
Well, I must admit, that was not the answer I had hoped for. Although I suppose you can't hope for anything better when you approach your friend while he's washing dishes and you're instead holding a glass full of blood.
- "Are you sure you don't want to try? Maybe this helps and has nutrients and-
I kept insisting with my idea, but he interrupted me saying:
- "Trust me. One I am completely sure of my decision, two, I doubt it will work and three, what the hell do you know about nutrients? "
- "Faire point."
I said putting the glass to one side of him and continued talking.
- "Anyway, this was not what I wanted to talk to you about."
- "Then why did you bring it?"
He asked me pointing to the glass.
"You'll see!"
And that's how I ran away from his sight, I went to my "room", I looked under my bed to grab a box that I had hidden. (Which contained a gift from my mother). And I ran back to Henry, this time with said gift in my hands to show him my discovery.
- "LOOK!" What do you think?"
I asked enthusiastically.
- "Gloves? Why do you have gloves if you never wear them? "
- "I don't know! What if one day I marry someone rich and become a society lady? Hey! You never know what destiny has in store for us! Argh! Anyway, just put them on.
- "But they are for females? Besides that, it would get them wet if I put them on now. "
He commented to me, looking at them while raising one of his eyebrows.
- "They're a bit old, and don't fit me anymore. Also, your hands are smaller and thinner than mine... I never used them, so... I was thinking of giving them a new life with you. "
- "... Well, I will use them, but only because they are a gift from you and not because I like them. Understood?!"
I didn't answer him with words, I just nodded my head in understanding.
I mean, he was right. The gloves were a gift to me, so they were white with lots of embroidery and little bows on the edges. In short, very feminine.
I remember that my mother gave them to me with the hope that one day I would use them and see myself as a true "society lady," something that, because of my work, was an opportunity that never came, and that I doubt that one day. I arrived.
- "Hehe, they look good on you!"
I said smiling.
- "I look stupid."
He answered me with a frown.
- "Oh, don't be mad! Also, they're not for you to use forever, I just want to try a little experiment ... "
At that moment I took the glass with blood from before and poured it into a saucepan that he was cleaning. An action that I must admit that I didn't think twice before doing it ... I only saw the glass, the perfect moment and that's it! I just did it, without considering the serious problems I could have gotten us into.
- "What do you think you're doing?! Give me more work?! You clumsy girl! "
Henry told me at that moment, raising his voice.
His sudden response scared me a bit, causing me to jump back a little, and although Henry sounded angry at first, he quickly changed his expression to one of more concern when he saw me.
- "It's just a small test; from the beginning I have always wanted to help you. I don't plan on forcing you to do something you don't want to do, but I also know that if you get stuck in one place, you will never be able to fulfill your dream. So, I came to this solution, if you can't get over it then maybe you can fool it.
Now, try washing that pan. "
I tried to tell him; in the calmest voice I could do.
- "I, uhm ... I don't think I can ... I-I really don't think so."
- "Shh, shh, hey, it's okay... I'm here with you, remember? You are not alone; we can try between the two. What's more, you can try closing your eyes if that reassures you more. "
I placed my hands on his shoulder, he was shaking a little, so I hope that at least my warmth has comforted him in that moment. I wanted to help, not make him feel worse.
- "Well ... I'll try"
After a big sigh, Henry confidently said those three words to me.
Later act he began to play the bloody fret. Of course, always closing your eyes throughout the process, although shortly after starting; he opened his pretty eyes again, since I don't think he had felt anything bad or strange when washing that saucepan.
And as he did so, for a moment he looked concerned again, his shoulders straining. But, seconds later he was relaxing more and more ... Until finally, after what surely felt like an eternity to him, he managed to wash that dish. The gloves ended up soaked and reddish, but without a doubt, the saucepan was clean.
- "I still feel uncomfortable doing it ... But I did it."
He began to smile; I will never forget that smile.
- "My God! I really did! I-I can't believe it, I did it! I MADE IT! "
He began to smile more, even to the point where I seemed to see that he was jumping up and down with happiness.
And that's how from one moment to the next, he also began to hug me tightly.
- "Thanks! Thank you very very much! How did you find out? H-How did you come up with this wonderful idea ?! "
- "It was easy!"
I replied with pride.
- "Your problem is not seeing or smelling the blood, it's touching it. That's what causes you fear! After several days of writing down all of our progress, I came to that conclusion! That's why I thought that maybe the gloves would help you no longer feel the same as if you touched the blood with your bare hands.
- "I see. Still, it amazes me how you put it all together ... Are you some kind of undercover detective or something? Genius! Wait, I know! Doctor or potential scientist, yes, those can definitely be your possible professions.
He explained to me excitedly.
- "I can't go to school silly."
I said hitting his nose.
- "But if one day I could ... Then I would take your advice into account."
With that said, a small silence was created between them. Which I quickly broke up saying:
- "You know, we should better throw away those gloves, I don't think they will continue to be useful-"
- "UTTERSON!"
I heard a scream come from the kitchen, and in that moment, I remembered all the work I had but had forgotten to do to be with Henry. So of course, that cry from my boss was normal when he realized that I was no longer in the kitchen, where I was supposed to be.
- "Come right now or you're fired! The customers are hungry, the food is getting cold and there is no one to serve them their dishes!"
- "Of course, sir! I'll be right away! "
I yelled back at him, heading for the kitchen, though not before turning to see Henry's face again.
- "So ... Same time today? You know, the drawing? "
- "Ah! Sure, sure yes! "
He spoke excitedly, showing the most genuine smile I have seen him to date ...
I would have liked to stay there to continue appreciating his happiness, but work called me, literally, so I returned to my work station and he to his, so we continued with our normal activities, well ... Normal with an extra touch of happiness.
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