Fortunately, my mind reacted quickly at that moment and I remembered some of the riding lessons that my father along with my tutors used to give me. My suitcase was already on the ground so all I did was get up quickly, raise both hands in the air and avoid making any sudden movements.
Slowly and carefully I finally managed to calm the fearful animal, that was actually a very friendly horse, because he even let me pet him once.
It was a good moment between the two of them, until it was interrupted by two men who were running after the animal, and after them was running another man of greater complexion who shouted:
- "Damn useless! You almost made me lose a horse!"
When all of them reached where I was, one of the men previously chasing the horse replied:
-"W-We're so sorry, sir!" We don't know what happened! The horse was calm when we arrived, we swore that we were taking good care of him until he suddenly became upset and we could no longer control him.
- "You couldn't control it? YOU COULDN' T CONTROL IT?! And do you think that excuse would work with Mr. Villon when he will notice that his carriage is missing a horse? This would have ruined my business! - Shouted the widest man of the three."
- "B-Boss, please."
- "I don't want to hear you anymore! You're fired, out of my sight and out of my inn."
- "Boss! Mister! We beg of you; we have family and at this time of year it's very difficult to find a job, please give us another chance ..."
- "Another chance? You just said it yourself... It's very difficult to find a job, and I need competent people in my business. You should have made better use of what you had, now go get your things and get out of here unless you want to sleep in a cell today."
The awkward "conversation" of the men was over, leaving me in the middle of all that mess. The younger men, who were apparently already unemployed from the place, quietly walked back the way they had come. There was only that wider man left and me, it was a moment that passed with a quick silence. I wanted to go, but I had realized that I still had the harness that the horse was using in my hands.
- "Uh, S-Sir!" - I tried to say at the time.
- "Ah, so a brat from the street had more value than those two men, and? What are you waiting for? A reward for your services or what?" He glared at me, crossing his fat arms.
- "N-No sir, I was just passing through and I only decided to help as soon as I saw the problem". - My head was lowered so that he couldn't see my face. At that moment I was thinking of running away from there as soon as possible, however, as I looked at the ground, I noticed my suitcase lying next to me and that made an idea pop into my head.
It was true that I had nowhere to go, and from the words that man said it was possible that the building behind him was the inn he had been talking about so much.
An inn, little pay, but at least it could also offer a roof and scraps.
- "Actually, sir." - I said lifting my head.
- "God dam boy, what the hell is wrong with your eye?" - He interrupted me.
- "Ah... It's nothing, sir. It has always been this way from the moment I was born, it is not contagious or anything evil. I assure you!"
- "Still ... It looks horrible." - It was the last thing he answered.
Now that I'm writing this, I realize how much a first impression can do; I hadn't taken it into account at the time, but I was really very lucky that things ended the way they did.
"I know, sir, that's why it has been so difficult for me to survive on the harsh streets of London." - I replied to the man.
- "Why don't you join the circus? You are sure to attract a lot of clients."
- "Well sir, with all due respect, I must tell you that this is not an option for me. I have a dream, you know. One that I plan to pursue to the end despite the difficulties."
Terrible way to convince someone to hire you, I know, I was desperate, I wasn't thinking much about the words that came out of my mouth ... And yet, in a way, how I was acting kind of worked.
- "Life isn't fair, it's impossible for a dirty child on the street to fulfill his dreams, or for someone to take care of them." -The man continued saying.
- "Again, I know, sir. But I am not looking for a caretaker, I am looking for a boss; employment, in a nutshell. You see, I didn't mean to be rude listening to the conversation you had earlier with those men. It was not my intention, however, that position that they left ... I suppose it is free for new employees? "- I asked, smiling slightly.
- "The coachman? Yes, it's available... What do you want to get to with that, kid?"
- "It is not so easy to find people who can handle these majestic animals perfectly, however, here I am, someone who can boast of being good in their care and control. Besides, I must remind you that just a few minutes ago it was I who managed to calm down your precious horse, which was caused by an injury caused by a badly placed harness made to run from its former keepers."
Many people have said that I have a golden tongue, my father especially... And, another girl whose name I don't remember, although I think she used to have beautiful green eyes. Whatever! That day, not only did this persuasion skill help me, but in fact, that horse did have a small wound on the side of the harness, which I had noticed moments before when I stroked it.
- "I don't think so, with that look you have you would scare away almost all my clients. -He told me, who was still against my offer".
- "I understand your concern, sir. However, to my knowledge this job will require of me the least tact with your precious clients. It wouldn't cause any trouble for anyone."
We were silent, he just looked at me and I swear I felt my sweat run down my forehead.
- "Well. Don't expect a higher pay than other men have, work hard and the first problem you cause I want you out of my business. Is that clear?"
-"Clear as water, sir!" I mean, boss! -
- "Follow me ..." - He said after having let out a small grunt of annoyance.
That day I took my things and did what they had ordered me to do.
The inn is a small, rustic place and somewhat apart from the city, but it is much better than sleeping in the streets ... Although with this move, I had to stop my studies for a while, because I had thought about staying a long time to maybe save a little more money and try to collect my messy thoughts related to that problem of mine that I had recently discovered.
Days passed and I certainly realized that the inn was a better place to live compared to where it was previously located.
Afternoon and evening we were offered the leftovers of the customers' food; I didn't have to worry about finding a roof to hide from the rain or cold, and the work I did was relatively easy.
At night I used to stay up until after midnight to continue studying the last books I had bought from the bookstore; I took all the notes I could and tried to get used to the grotesque drawings that illustrated the procedure of an operation.
I tried to imagine what it would be like to cut an arm and see the blood drain from the wound, however, whenever I tried, it did not achieve any favorable result since ... In doing so I felt nothing, not fear, not disgust, Nothing! And the problem was that I knew that if I tried to make my thoughts come true then the result would be very different and I would end up in another panic attack.
Many were the nights that I spent like this: Waking up, working, eating, working, having dinner, studying. sometimes work nights, sometimes journal, sometimes sleep, sometimes stay up until dawn.
During all that time I didn't even want to think what kind of impression my dark circles or mood swings were giving my co-workers about me; although deep down he was sure that none of them were good.
That worried me? No, because ... From the first time I settled in this place I had already put in my head not to socialize with anyone, since I know that no matter the relationship you have with someone, nobody is trustworthy ... Everyone can betray you, abandon you, forget in the worst possible way ... And all, many times they looked at me for what they believed me to be: A phenomenon.
So, I always listened to my beliefs, I walked away from anyone who wanted to talk to me, and I did ... To protect myself, so that they would not notice how strange it was when sometimes I knocked on the stable doors or when I spent whole days without say a word, so they won't notice my voice rhythms or the strands of hair that sometimes fell off my head.
I tried my best to go unnoticed, and for a full month it worked! ... Until she intruded herself in my life.
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