Cluck Norris materializes out of the New Mexico desert, a battle-scarred warrior. How he had found our van was a complete mystery. All I knew was that we owed him our lives and that without him, I probably would have ended up hanging upside down in an underground bunker somewhere getting waterboarded for information.
"Okay, this is definitely shaping up to be one of the weirdest days of my life," I tell Adam, and then I think about it. "Wait. Scratch that. This is the second weirdest day of my life."
"What's the first one?" He asks me quizzically, his dark eyebrows furrowing.
"First grade, when my older brother gave me cornrows so I would fit in with the rest of the family on Thanksgiving," I reply, "I'm pretty much scarred for life, man."
"Your brother gave you cornrows?" Adam repeats, unsure of what he'd just heard.
"It's not that weird, Kavinsky. I'm adopted--"
"Haresh!" Bahz yells before I can explain more, and I watch him tear out of the van and sprint across the arid parking lot towards the battered Cluck Norris.
"Baby! Wait a minute!" Adam hollers, and then he quickly gets out and dashes after Baby, leaving me sitting alone in the Burger King parking lot like a total idiot.
I mean, damn. Was I the only one with common sense around here?
Cursing under my breath, I pull the van back onto the road and head after the others to pick them up. By now, they're all kind of clumped in the middle of the road. Baby was holding Cluck Norris and Adam had his hand on his shoulder like they were best friends or really close boyfriends.
I was really tempted to keep driving at this point,
But I couldn't leave Baby stranded out here in the middle of nowhere.
"Haresh! I thought you had gone to be with The Great Halala in the sky! I was almost certain that you were done for!" Baby's telling Clucky Chan when I finally pull up beside everyone and stick my head out to see what the hell was going on.
"I assure you, your Highness, it's going to take a lot more force to keep me from you," The Chicken clucks simply, his eyes all misty and shit. "I swore an oath to protect you upon your birth, and I will never stop defending you, no matter how far apart we are."
"Oh, Haresh!" Baby sighs, and then he hugs Cluck Norris as gently as he can. "Adam helped me while you were gone," Blue Boy explains, "He bought me delicious food, we discussed Earthly things. He even fixed Kevin's hand! Right, Adam?" He looks up at Adam like he was Superman or something and then they share a dumb smile that makes my stomach turn sour.
"Hey," I say from where I'm still watching them from the window, "Can you guys just get in the fucking van? We're practically begging the FBI to show up right now."
"Kevin's right," Adam agrees with me, and I shut up because this was the first time he'd had my back since this whole shit show had started. "We need to get as far away from Backwater as we can. It's only a matter of time until the cops come looking for us."
I watch everyone pile into the back, but all I can focus on is Adam when he comes round and gets into the passenger's seat right beside me.
I'd spent so long hating his stinking guts and his dumb nerd boy face that I hadn't noticed how good he actually looked. How his thick, curly hair framed his face and how his eyes were this light shade of honey when they caught the light. How his stupid blue polo shirt hung open slightly to reveal part of his chest and his sweaty neck.
Then I really start to wonder what he would look like pinned underneath me.
If he would let me be like that with him, I mean.
"Kevin?" Baby's voice filters in and I blink and suddenly I'm launched back to reality and everyone's looking at me like I'm crazy, including Cluck Norris. "You seem to be under some kind of trance," The Alien informs me, sounding concerned, "Are you alright? Are you having visions of the Great Moons of Kal-Torak?"
"I'm fine, Bahz! It's just the heat getting to me. You guys took so long hugging and kissing that I'm practically dying here!" I snap, and then I pull the van back onto the road.
The whole time, Adam's just watching me with his big brown eyes and calm expression.
Like he knew what I'd been thinking.
Then he reaches over and he touches the top of my hand, and it's so unexpected that I don't react with violence or scream at him to let go of me. Because he was touching me, and for the first time since I'd met him, I didn't hate it.
I drive us to Roswell with Adam Kavinsky touching my hand until he falls asleep in the seat beside me. I guess the guy hadn't gotten much rest between now and then, because nothing wakes him up, not even when I blast some Biggie while we're rushing down the road.
"What is this music called, Kevin Quinn? And why does the strange bard love it when they call him Big Poppa?" Baby shouts from the backseat, the wind whipping his hair around his head so that it glints gold in the sun.
"It's called rap music!" I shout back at him, and I glance back to see his amazed face. "Women only call their boyfriends that when they really like them! It's kind of a thing here on Earth!"
"Wow!" Baby gasps, "I don't think I'll ever get tired of Earth! Right, Haresh!?"
"Well, I don't know about that," Cluck Norris shoots me the side-eye from where he sits. "This music is dreadful! It nearly reminds me of the mourning rituals on Arcturus! Can we listen to something else?"
I ignore him, turn up the radio to tune him out, and punch the gas, rocketing us towards the next town.
Comments (6)
See all