**********
My hand traced along the cool marble wall as I walked down the hall until I reached the white double French doors to the powder room. There was not a single speck of dust. The porcelain sink, the white framed mirror, the ceiling, and the walls were all the same eggshell shade.
I flopped down on the light cream chaise longue and stretched my legs before setting them on the couch. Dirt peppered the bone-white quatrefoil patterned rug as I kicked off my stilettos.
I just spent the last six hours listening to Wolt gush about Zen. Labor laws dictate that I was entitled a 15 minute paid break every 4 hours.
Knock knock
"The Duke is requesting your presence, my lady," said a monotonous voice from behind the double French doors.
"Tell him that I'm sick," This was an unpaid gig; mental and emotional abuse was not in the job description.
"He knows that you aren't." Sheraton responded.
I dragged myself out of the powder room and reluctantly made my way back.
**********
Zen leaped from Wolt's arms as I barged into the room. He scooted to the end of the couch and looked away from us.
"Guys, I'm not a prude. I'm not averse to public displays of affection, do whatever you want." I shrugged and sat down on a cream-colored armchair.
"See? Nothing to get embarrassed about, hun," Wolt said with a suggestive smile as his hands slid under a jittery Zen's jacket.
"Public displays of affection, not displays of debauchery, Your Grace. Can we discuss the wedding planning?" I sighed.
The couple listed several items that I needed to source to make the wedding happen.
They needed charged magic stones. Air purifying for the smog, fire for cooking, electric for lighting, to name a few. We also needed water purification and poop clearing stones so commoners could avoid dysentery and attend the wedding parade.
Pollution was so concentrated that any laundry hung outside would turn gray before it dried. Black clothing was all the rage around these parts.
"I would like to procure enough air-purifying stones to ensure that my future Duchess's white wedding suit will not turn gray during the parade," Wolt requested as he leaned forward.
"Right. I'll try my best to ensure that his clothes stay white." I raised an eyebrow.
"The Magic Tower is located at the center of the Westboye Duchy. How is there a shortage of charged magic stones, Your Grace?" I asked.
Duke Westboye sighed, answered my questions, and went on and on about his grievances against the Empire.
Magic stone ores were mined in the East and processed in the West. They are now processed in the North because some dumbass Emperor sent all mages to the war. Our country has endeavored to liberate Northwegia, located north of Darq's territory, for quite some time.
The war prioritized electric, fire, and water stones. These magic stones fueled the ironworks and other factories. However, that meant that there weren't enough air-purifying stones to clear up the smog created by the factories. I noticed a distinct lack of sanitation workers in this world. Now I know that they were just called mages instead of janitors.
Metalworks was the backbones of the economy in the West. They produced almost all the weapons and armor used in the war.
"I understand, Your Grace. I will look into recharging magic stones for your wedding." I gave Wolt a quick nod and sipped my lukewarm mint tea.
The stones created were so specific yet so vague.
[Magic is bullshit, it was created to plug the plot holes in this sinking novel!]
"Why didn't you lobby to keep, say, half of the mages? They can work here to provide stones for the rest of Isekia," I asked him.
Wolt scoffed. "You don't think that I already tried that? Asholle turned me down every time that I asked. He reasoned that it would take too long to mobilize mages if all hell broke loose up north."
"That's...ridiculous," I sighed as I remembered that Asholle threw a fit and demanded to be the commander in chief.
Crown Prince Sanf was too busy with bureaucracy and his studies to lead a war. Sanf was also more interested in organizing dance parties than expedition parties. The Emperor was too lazy to shepherd janitors and warriors to fight the Canadians of this world.
And so that was how the most incompetent person in Isekia came to lead the war. Asholle shipped all of the mages to the war as soon he became the ultimate super commander.
"What happened to Maggie, the Master of the Tower?" I asked. I needed more information about the present. I had plenty of knowledge on the history of Isekia thanks to Fel's empress lessons.
“Maggie disappeared after the war started. They refused conscription and said some bullshit about being a pacifist loser.” Wolt replied, then chugged the rest of his tea. I wonder if he spiked his tea with liquor or Xanax while I was away powdering my nose earlier.
"I should have kidnapped them and locked them up in the basement dungeon," the Duke sighed and rubbed his temples in frustration, "however, their magic is so powerful that they are near impossible to contain."
"It sounds like quite the conundrum. How about we—" I said, concerned with where this conversation was going.
"—I would have to break all of their limbs and tie them up," he interrupted, deep in thought.
I just nodded until we went back on topic.
"Look, I'm not exactly sure why my cousin sent The Villainess of the North to help with the wedding. But since you're here leeching off my estate, you should make yourself useful and fetch us some magic stones."
Listen here, you little shit...
"If you don't mind my asking...how am I a villainess? Asholle sent me to help you." I asked as I aggressively chugged the rest of my dirty leaf water without breaking eye contact with this asshole.
"Rumors spread quickly from the Capitol to the West. Did you forget about the time where you sent a wagon full of wine towards the Saintess and broke her leg? Thank goodness for her divine powers; she was able to get back on her feet quickly," he said.
"What?! I didn't do any of that!"
"How about the time you threw a vase at a servant for dropping an earring? Or when you whipped your maid for not making your bath water hot enough?" Wolt rattled off a few more examples.
"Yeah... I don't remember any of that. Who's the asshole that told you this?" I asked. I literally can't remember any of that because that wasn't me.
"People here and there. Not that it matters, those magic stones aren't going to recharge themselves, so you better get started," he said and then dismissed me with a wave of his hand.
I glared at him as I stood up to leave.
"Don't give me attitude. Remember, I have the power to send you off to the gallows as well," he said with a smirk.
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