On Mondays, Noon Merch was pretty much dead to the world, aside from the occasional old folks or lawyer stopping by for lunch. I think I'd been inside a few times to pick up some curry for dad, but I'd never gone back until now.
I just kind of wished it had been under better conditions.
I crash through the door when one of the FBI agents tackles me, and one of the waitresses screams, her banshee-like shriek cutting through the peacefulness of the restaurant.
"Get off of me, asshole!" I snarl, and I aim a savage kick at the man's face when he grabs onto my foot, the toe of my boot colliding with his teeth. Hollering, he rolls away holding his face and I scramble away as fast as I can, throwing myself towards the back of the restaurant
"Stop! Quinn!" The other agent bellows, and he knocks over a table in his rush to get to me, boiling hot dishes crashing to the ground as startled customers scream and jump up to avoid being splashed.
I slam through a set of double doors into a bustling kitchen. The smell of fresh stews, herbs, and sauces sit heavy in the air, but I don't have time to stop and ogle everything. "Help!" I shout at one of the chefs, "There's a creepy guy chasing me! I think he's a pervert or something. He slapped my ass!" I gesture to the agent when he comes crashing in after me.
"FBI! Everyone out of the way!" The agent roars, and he flashes his badge, sending everyone running.
Fuck my life.
"Assclown!" I grab a bowl of something green off one of the counters and I throw it as hard as I can, the metal dish bouncing off the cabinet next to the agent's head, vegetables flying. "Fuck you and your garbage agency!"
I grab another bowl and a handful of silverware and I start throwing them at him all while trying to get away. But the floor is slick, and I go down like a tone of bricks a few seconds later, crashing to the floor with a grunt before the ginger guy lands on top of me.
And all I can think of is pulling Bahz from the wreckage.
Of him handing me that dumb little flower and telling me that he trusted me when no one ever had.
"Why are you running?!" Ginger shouts down at me, and he grabs a knife from one of the counters. "What the hell are you hiding you annoying little shit!? We found the burnt-out shell of your brother's car in the middle of the road between Backwater and Roswell. What happened?"
"Screw you!" I turn my head and then I spit in his face, making sure it's a nice, hot glob that slides down his cheek.
A second later, he plunges the knife into my hand, pain ripping through my palm and up my arm.
I screech like a little bitch, my fingers instantly curling, tears springing to my eyes and everything. But I wasn't going to tell him about Bahz, or Adam Kavinsky.
Ginger laughs when I try pushing him off of me and he leans down. "Not so tough now, are you?" He chuckles. "Tell me what you saw last night, Kevin Quinn."
I squeeze my eyes shut, exhale...and then I hear a faint clucking.
What the fuck?
Squinting, I catch sight of something white and feathery come into view, right behind Ginger. It's Cluck Norris, a tiny red bandana tied around the top of his head, a green vest snapped to his torso. And behind him? Adam and Baby stand in the doorway, gawking at the whole scene.
"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" Cluck Norris shouts, and Ginger turns to look at him, eyes popping wide when he realizes that he's about to be Kentucky Fried Fucked Up.
"Haresh is skilled in ten forms of combat!" Baby whispers to Adam. "This is his moment!"
Ginger rushes the chicken thinking he has the upper hand, but Cluck Norris pulls a fast one. the next thing I know, he's throwing karate kicks and punches and he's flying at this guy's face, angry chicken noises exploding out of him along with the sound of meat hitting meat.
It's fucking brutal. Sickening.
I stand up, open-mouthed, and watch Cluck Norris beat the shit out of this guy. They roll around on the floor, feathers flying, then Cluck Norris does a roundhouse kick, and the agent slams into one of the counters, groaning.
"Kevin!" Adam squeezes past the furious hen and wounded agent, and he grabs my jacket. "Come on! We need to get Baby out of here as fast as we can!"
"Yeah, alright!" I squeeze my bleeding hand closed and I follow him out of the kitchen, but not before glancing back at Cluck Norris one more time.
The chicken punches Ginger, the man's head snapping to the side. A second later he punches him again and throws a fierce kick, sending him crashing to the floor. Then, he turns to me, and we lock eyes before he nods once, as if giving me permission to go.
"Haresh!" Baby screams, and Adam and I grab him by both arms and pull him out of the kitchen. "No! You have to come with us!" The Alien Boy howls like he was losing his best friend, which...I guess he was. Cluck Norris had sacrificed himself for us, all so we could escape.
He'd saved my fucking life.
We pull Baby back out into the restaurant, but he's fighting so hard that he almost elbows me in the stomach and nearly knocks Adam's glasses off. Growling, I finally grab him around the waist and I throw him over my shoulder in our rush to get out of the building.
"Adam! We need a car!"
"Where the hell am I supposed to get a car, Kevin?! Do you want me to pull one out of my ass or something?" Adam shouts at me, his cheeks flushed, eyes wild.
"I don't know, jackass. You got one hiding in there?" I snap back, and then I turn and I scan the parking lot, seeing an old van parked there that I knew I could easily hot wire.
Bingo.
"Adam, we're taking that van over there!" I announce, and we both run in that direction.
"We can't leave without Haresh!" Baby sobs from over my shoulder, "He's the only family I have left!"
I drop him once I get to the van and Adam takes over trying to console him while I bust open the front window and unlock the door. Everything I had learned about cars, I had picked up from my dad, who often sold lemons to naive customers looking for a cheap car.
I get under the dashboard and I pop off the plastic with my pocket knife, quickly finding the right wires.
"Hey!" An old man shouts at us as he comes out of the restaurant. "Wait a minute! That's my car!"
"Get in the van, Kavinsky!" I call back to him just as the van roars to life beneath me.
Adam runs around the side, drags Baby into the van, and slams the door shut. It's pure chaos, everything's moving super fast, but all I can see is an exit out of here. There was no way we could stay in this town with the FBI crawling around and a Blueberry from space doing weird shit.
I stomp on the gas and the van rockets forward, nearly hitting the old man in the parking lot who waves his hands up and down. "Get the fuck out of my way!" I holler at him.
We zoom out of the parking lot, kicking up dust as I haul ass back across town.
Was this the last I would see of Backwater?
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