Before a giant alien spaceship smashed my car into a pulp and nearly killed me, my whole summer had already been laid out in my head.
I had planned on asking Janet Jameson out, maybe working with Dad at Quinn General Motors if I was in a good mood, or bumming around at the local diner sipping chocolate milkshakes until I got sick. But things hadn't worked out that way. My life had changed in seconds with the arrival of Mork and his chicken fried pal.
"Okay, so! I have so many questions! " Adam's gushing when we all go back inside. "What makes your skin blue?" He asks Baby, "And why do you only glow when you're around Kevin? I stayed awake last night watching you both sleep, and I observed you change colors several times. It was all entirely fascinating!"
"Jesus, Adam! You can't just ask people why they're blue! " I glower over at him, and I close the door behind me to the roof, Cluck Norris tucked into the crook of my arm since he'd fallen asleep and all. "Are you fucking crazy?"
"Oh, come on," Adam scoffs. "You've called him like twenty different names since he got here!"
"That's not the same! He barely even talks, I had to call him something! " I huff, and Baby watches both of us bicker, all while frantically sucking orange Hi-C through a bendy straw like it's liquid honey. Oddly enough, the Alien Boy hadn't said much between last night and this morning, but I knew he wasn't suffering from memory loss or anything. He had talked earlier when I had him pinned to the bed.
"Look, can we just go to the crash site and get it over with?" I question, and I set Cluck Norris down on the bed. "Alien Boy doesn't want to talk to us. He probably doesn't even fucking like us! "
"I do like you."
Adam and I both turn around at the same time.
Baby's staring down at his cup and he shrugs a little, like he's shy or something. "I was scared of Kevin last night because he's loud and his face alarms me, but I like both of you."
I'm stunned into silence because it was the most he'd talked since we met him.
"Why do you trust us so much?" Adam decides to ask, his voice gentle. "We could be terrible people. I mean, Kevin's pretty much the worst guy in town to hang around with. "
"Aw, thanks, Kavinsky! Way to stroke my ego," I roll my eyes and stuff my hands into my jacket, my shoulders hunched a little in annoyance. Even if my whole thing was being a bad boy, I still didn't want Adam to tell Alien Boy that I was a piece of shit.
"I trust you because..." Baby blushes pink and that soft glow comes out again, so he was like this cute little blue glow bug. "Because Kevin accepted my proposal!" He blurts all of a sudden.
No.
No, no, no.
Adam's face turns bright red, and then he makes a choking noise. I wondered for a second if he needed me to do pelvic thrusts or something on him to dislodge whatever he'd choked on, but then he speaks again.
"He did what?!" The nerd demands, and then he turns to me. "Kevin! Oh my God. I can't believe this! Did you guys get engaged last night? I can't even believe this!"
"Oh hell no!" I shout at him, "I haven't gone anywhere near that extraterrestrial ass! I don't even know what he's talking about! "
Baby starts patting his pockets and then he pulls out one single flower.
The same flower that I had stuck behind my ear last night.
"I proposed to you," he explains softly, and then he holds the thing out towards Adam. "I gave this to Kevin last night. It means that we're friends and that I would give my life in exchange for his, and in return, he'll do the same for me. "
I exhale and slump forward, hands on my knees. Oh, thank fucking God.
"Baby, that's not what that word means here on Earth," Adam tries to explain, still flustered as hell. "Your translator must have some bugs in it still. I'll take a look at it later, but--"
"No," Baby interrupts him, and then he steps forward and takes Adam's hands in his, "I know what it means. I trust both of you with my life after last night when you protected me and kept me safe and warm."
I watch him press the flower into Adam's palm and close his fingers around it. "May the Universe smile upon our friendship, Adam and Kevin Kavinsky."
"Hold up," I say after a minute, my gears grinding to a halt. "We're not even married!"
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