A couple of minutes after Adam Kavinsky nearly breaks his neck falling down a ladder, I watch him sit down for an hour at his desk, trying to fix Baby's broken translator.
It was pretty much like watching my dad work on his old sports car in his garage, which meant that I was totally bored as hell.
I mean, yeah, I liked cars and everything.
But putting all that crap together was a pain in the ass.
"This might sound a little nosey, but how far away is your planet?" Adam asks Cluck Norris as they work side by side, the chicken pecking at the occasional part to instruct him where to solder with a tiny heat gun. "What's it like? Is there a lot of water like on Earth? "
"Oh, it's very similar to Earth, but by the goddess, is it a million times more beautiful!" Norris boasts, his chest feathers ruffling up proudly. "We pride ourselves on our forests and clean air."
Baby turns around from where he's standing in front of a giant map of the galaxy on the wall and then he shouts and points to a spot. "Adam! Det-Arcturus! " He announces, and then he points to a tiny dot all the way at the bottom of the map.
Adam looks up and he squints through his eyepiece at the map before it clatters to the table. "Is that where you're from? Arcturus? That planet is light-years away, and we don't even have a name for it yet. "
"Oh, you Earthlings are so young and naive!" Cluck Norris chuckles, and then he pecks a wire into place on the dissected antennas, a series of tiny beeps ringing out.
I glance over at them from where I'm seated on a beanbag, playing Super Mario on Adam's Nintendo. "You got any hot chicks on Arcturus?" I question, and then I smirk to myself as I maneuver Mario up a ladder. "Maybe one of them can abduct me later on."
"The females on our planet are vicious. Why would you want one of them to abduct you? "
I look up again when I hear an unfamiliar voice. It's soft and gentle, but it's, like, strong at the same time. And then I realize that it's coming from Baby, who still has his hand pressed up against the wall. And he's looking right at me, this puzzled look on his face.
My voice dries up like a crusty old sock in an instant.
"Oh my fucking God!" Adam announces, and then he jumps up and high-fives Cluck Norris. "We fixed the translator! It works! Okay... okay! " He claps his hands together, and then he turns to Baby and inhales, then exhales. "I have so many questions!"
"Wait just one freaking minute!" I interrupt them, and then I get up and I push Adam aside so I can see Blue-Boy properly. "I just want to know why the FUCK you decided to park your goddamn spacecraft on top of my car, man!" I yell at him, "Of all the places that you could have landed! Times Square! Scotland! The stupid-ass Pacific Ocean! "
"Jesus, Kevin!" Adam shoves me, "You think he wanted to land on top of your car on purpose!?"
"I didn't mean to," Baby protests, his voice trembling slightly. "I'm s-sorry..." He starts to wobble a little, and then he falls forward like a stone statue.
"Oh, shit!" I shout, and I lunge for him, catching him before he falls and hits his head on the wood floor. "Baby, come on. Don't act like this, okay?" I sink down to my knees with him in my arms, and he stares up at me, his eyes half-lidded.
"Kevin..." Baby whispers, and then he reaches up and touches my cheek.
And I swear, my fucking heart flutters.
"What's the matter with him?" Adam asks Cluck Norris, who quickly comes over to assess the situation. "Why does he keep passing out like that?"
"He's exhausted," Cluck Norris sighs, "When we pilot our ships, our bodies go into stasis and we use our minds and a complex computer system to navigate through the galaxy. It's the easiest way to travel through space. But it's physically demanding. Especially for someone like Prince Bahz, who has no formal training. "
I pick up Baby and I hold him in my arms when he goes limp, his head lulling against my chest. "Hey, Kavinsky, can we use your bed?" I ask Adam, "The Smurf needs somewhere to sleep tonight."
"Y-Yeah..." Adam sputters, and then he crosses his arms like he was nervous or something. "Tomorrow we can figure out where he's going to stay after tonight. I don't think my mom's going to appreciate me housing a real-life alien in my room. "
I carry Baby over to Adam's bed and I set him down, figuring I could tuck him in and then escape for the night. But then he grabs onto my shirt and he pulls me down with a surprising amount of strength. "Dude!" I throw out a hand to keep from landing on him.
"Stay with me," Alien Boy pleads, "I don't want to be alone, Kevin."
I glance back at Adam, who shrugs, and then at Cluck Norris, who suddenly seems interested in something else.
God, I fucking hated them. Useless bastards.
"Fine, but don't say I didn't do anything for you, Blueberry!" I grumble, and then I climb into bed beside him. On top of the sheets, because I didn't roll like that. It didn't matter though, because Baby snuggles in close, one hand on my chest, his face inches from mine like he had known me forever or something.
"The Prince never sleeps alone," Cluck Norris explains to Adam, his voice distant when I begin to feel myself fall asleep. "Someone has always been there with him."
"Wow, you guys have some weird rules up there, don't you?" Adam replies. "What was he running from?"
"He was engaged to be married to a King," Cluck Norris explains, everything fading to black, "Let's just say it didn't go well."
The last thing I see is Baby scooting in even closer until his smaller form is tucked into my side.
Then I'm out like a light.
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