"You...you were a reaper?" I reply, not quite believing that a reaper could become a guardian. I mean Michael being a reaper makes more sense than him being a guardian. But to be both?
"Yep. I spent my thousand years and went into being a guardian." Michael tells me, looking out over the park. He observes everyone that walks around, and I could see him trying to understand them. Each and every one of them. Much like David would have. He used to look at people that weren't his charges, trying to understand them and their motivations. I witnessed it all the time in the Judgement Room.
I stay silent, processing all of it and then I turn and look at him. "So you broke all Ten Commandments as well?" I ask him, still not entirely sure someone like us could ever become a guardian. The only people worse than us or the ones that never regretted what they did.
Michael shakes his head. "Nah, I didn't break all of 'em. I only broke..." he pauses and seems to try and remember something. "Four?" He nods his head as if agreeing with that. "Yep four or five."
I shake my head, not quite able to understand. Actually, he might seriously be pulling my leg. The only way anyone could be considered to be a reaper, they had to break all the Commandments and feel regretful about at least one of them.
"You must be confused," I tell him, settling back into my seat. He must have gone to Purgatory. That's the only explanation.
Michael gives a small laugh, "Nah, I'm definitely not confused." He turns his cerulean eyes onto me. "Actually the rules for becoming a reaper are way more complicated than what people say." He says, tossing his head back to look at the sky. He seems to absorb the sun's rays. I see the faint glint of his halo.
"Okay, then how does one become a reaper?" I ask, thinking of the Ten Commandments I broke. That's the only thing that makes sense.
"Well, you see the way you became a reaper is one way. I believe that the first five reapers did break all the Commandments. That is probably where the myth started." Michael explains, talking to the sky. He isn't smiling, but he doesn't look disturbed either. He's at peace.
He continues, "You can break the same sin and be applicable for becoming a reaper. That's what happened to me."
I nod my head, still not quite believing him (I mean one sin, come on.), "Okay then what sin did you break multiple times?"
Michael sighs sadly, "I committed murder quite frequently. I killed people, solely because their viewpoints didn't match mine." He releases another sigh, filled with so much regret, "After I finally was allowed to retire, I probably killed well over five hundred people. And I felt every single one of them sitting on my shoulders, forever reminding me of the monster I am." He winces slightly.
I swallow remembering the people I had killed. The warmness of the blood, watching as all of the life left them. Michael silently put his hand over mine, never taking his eyes off the sky.
"After retirement, I started drinking to forget. I was drunk almost all the time." Michael drops his head to his chest. I can feel the shame radiating off of him. "I was married. She was a beautiful and sweet woman." He then takes a deep breath, "I spent most of my nights in other's beds, never once worried about her. I actually frequently lied to her, though she knew."
I swallow feeling the memories surfacing of the man I fell for. The man I ran to because of him. "I cheated as well," I whisper, but I don't feel regret. I found happiness with him and I will never forget him. I might never have told him, but I loved him.
Michael squeezes my hand but says nothing to my words. "Men. Women. Sometimes there were multiple of us." Michael's ears were burning with the shame he felt. "I barely ever shared a bed with my wife." Michael turns to me. "She knew about everything and yet she stayed with me. She stayed with me because she hoped I would one day choose her. She wanted me to be her one and only and she hoped I would want the same." He pauses, drifting into his memories. I stay silent, allowing him to think through what he needed.
Finally, he sighs. "I died not long after because one of my lovers killed me," Michael tells me, his eyes shining with unshed tears.
"I'm sorry," I tell him, not quite knowing what to do. I squeeze his hand, telling him I am here. I'm not going to leave. A smile flickers across his face, before disappearing.
"Anyway, you can break the same Commandment multiple times and not care until the end and qualify to become a reaper." Michael finishes his story, "This happens to most reapers, but the generally accepted thing is that they broke every Commandment because they could." Michael tells me. I think back to the disgust the angels threw my way. I broke the sacred law of God. The word spoken from his very tongue. Yet he offered me a chance.
But a question was burning in me, "Why did you become a guardian?"
Michael laughs, and his normal self comes back. "Easy. I loved being with people and assisting any way I could make their final moments happy. After that feeling, I realized that I wanted to become a part of people's lives. I wanted to watch them grow up. I wanted to be there for the good and the bad." Michael smiled, and I could see Claire, Claudette, Loreto, and so many others I didn't know flash through his mind.
Michael's smile drops a layer of brightness but still there, just softer. "I'm telling you this, so you don't think you are only an evil person. And so you don't think being a reaper is a bad thing." His eyes flash, "If I had never been a reaper, I would've never met Edwin." He turns his eyes onto me again, "If you had never been a reaper you would've never met David. And that baby would've died." He stares into my eyes, telling me how lucky I truly am. And I can feel. The gratefulness.
"Thank you," I whisper. Michael grabs my hand and gives it a short squeeze. Through that one squeeze, I understand how alike we truly were.
"So, what is the exact story behind you and Edwin?" I ask. Michael bursts into laughter and it's infectious because I start laughing too.
Michael wipes the tears of mirth from his eyes, "Ah, that is Eddy's story to tell, not mine." He gives me another smile, "But our meeting is one of the best things about my existence. His friendship is invaluable to me." He gets a soft look on his.
"Edwin is my first real friend." I say. Michael nods, as though he already knew.
"He values you more than anything, Emma. He loves you more than I could ever tell you." Michael stands up, still holding my hand. "Now, we need to get back to work." I grin.
"Let's go."
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