Ava had been experimenting with her bread recipes. Damalia had started bringing her fresh herbs she had never tasted before. She found that a spikey leaf called rosemary was aromatic and especially delicious in this type of rustic loaf. She couldn’t wait to share it and get her friend’s feedback.
It was dark now. The other maidens were asleep in their communal space, so Ava knew she could clean the inner sanctum and enjoy her time with Damalia in peace. As she rounded the corner to the ornate room, she heard a soft sniffling.
Was Damalia crying?
She turned the corner hastily and noticed a figure was bowing low before Eupheme’s white marble statue. Surprisingly, the woman leaning forward in supplication wasn’t Damalia. It was Zoe, another maiden at the temple.
“Hello?” Ava called softly.
The brunette maiden quickly wiped her face and turned around. Her curly hair was mussed, her eyes were red-rimmed, and her cheeks were pink and blotchy.
“Ava,” she choked out. “I’m sorry, I forgot you stayed late to clean. I- I can leave now.”
The blonde approached her slowly, like she would a scared animal. “That’s alright,” she spoke gently. Zoe was in obvious distress. It would be careless to kick her out now, even if it was encroaching on her personal time. “You’re welcome to stay. Would you like me to light some prayer incense for you?”
Zoe nodded, so Ava went and fetched lavender and sage to burn. She walked back and knelt on the ground with her peer. The floor was cold and hard under her knees as she bent down.
“Is there anything we’re praying for?” she whispered.
A strangled noise escaped Zoe’s throat as she leaned towards her, looking for some type of support.
“Can you keep a secret?” The maiden’s eyes desperately searched Ava’s face Ava would have found the question amusing, if Zoe hadn’t seemed completely terrified.
The young blonde nodded. “Better than most.”
Zoe gave a shuddering sigh, hugging herself. “It- it has to do with meeting outsiders.”
Ava felt like she’d swallowed sand. Her eyes darted to Damalia’s curtain. The fabric moved ever so slightly. She was there; she was listening.
Zoe had always seemed pleasant enough- could she possibly be trying to blackmail her? Was this her way of confronting her?
Ava tried her best to reply in an even tone, keeping her features schooled to show no emotion. She wondered if Zoe could hear her heart beating through her ribs. “What about it?”
“I… I’ve been meeting a man from the village for over a year now,” she started. “He was sent off to war two months ago and I-, I-,” her voice was lost again as she trailed off. “I’m p-pregnant with his child.”
A small gasp escaped Ava’s throat. Zoe was maiden of the Eupheme’s temple, one that had taken a vow of chastity. It was nearly impossible to imagine a worse scandal for someone in their position. A pain shot through Ava’s back at the memory of Kalliope’s switch. She’d received a beating for merely questioning a priestess. The consequences of breaking an oath to their goddess…. She couldn’t fathom the rebuke this poor woman would face.
“Are you sure?” Ava asked, hopeful she was mistaken.
Zoe nodded. “Yes, and I have no money!” she wailed. “I’ll be shunned! They probably won’t let me give birth here because my bastard dishonors Eupheme. We’ll be out on the street, completely alone!”
She cradled her stomach. With her loose robes pulled tightly around her, Ava could make out a small, distinct bump.
“I am trapped like an animal!” she cried. The desperate, distressed quality of her voice caused gooseflesh to erupt up Ava's spine.
When Ava was young, someone had brought a small lamb as an offering to Eupheme. Ava was the only child raised in the temple and had a difficult time connecting with her peers. The other girls were so much older than her that they often ignored her completely.
The sweet lamb was kept in a small pen outside the temple garden. Ava had taken one look at his large, dark eyes and was immediately smitten. She often snuck away to see it. She found solace with the creature. It was gentle and soft in a way the women around her weren’t. Additionally, it was so warm.
Some of the fondest memories of her youth were spent lounging in the sun and snuggling against its white, downy fur. Though she’d get in trouble when caught, she felt it was worth the scolding. It was nice to have a connection with something, and it always seemed so happy when she brought additional scraps of food.
She had never been informed why the lamb was donated to the temple, or its inevitable fate. The fear in Zoe’s voice mimicked the screams her precious pet had made before its life was snuffed out before her.
Zoe may as well be up for slaughter. After facing extreme consequences from the priestesses, she’d be exiled from the temple and left homeless to care for her child. No one would dare take her in and risk the ire of the priestesses. She’d likely starve in the streets, in the dirt. If only her lover hadn’t been shipped away…
“I could perform the ceremony to end it for you, if you’d like,” Ava offered. It was rare to terminate a pregnancy, but sometimes necessary depending on the circumstances of conception or health of the mother. It was a solemn event, but it was something all maidens were trained to do.
Offering this service was no small gesture. If Ava was caught performing an unsanctioned termination, she could be beaten and exiled as well.
Zoe took a moment to appreciate her offer, realizing the immense danger Ava was putting herself in.
“You are a special one,” Zoe said reverently. She took one hand and stroked her soft, pale cheek. “You know, it’s not bad that you’re different from the others.”
Ava swore she heard a rustle behind Damalia’s curtain as Zoe caressed her face, but luckily the brunette didn’t seem to notice.
Ultimately, the maiden shook her head. “Thank you, but I can’t.” She rubbed a hand against her bump. “Seeing the joy of the mothers we help…. I took my vows and became a servant when I was twelve. How could I have known what I’d be missing?”
The admission caused a new wave of sobs to overtake her. On instinct, Ava wrapped her soft arms around the woman’s shaking shoulders. She made a shushing noise in an attempt to calm her. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “You’re going to be alright. We’ll figure something out.”
Her tears subsided long enough for her to speak. “I don’t see how that’s possible. I haven’t left the temple for ten years. Even if I did have money, I wouldn’t know where to go,” she hiccuped.
“There has to be something we can do,” Ava assured. “Our allowances are small, but maybe if we combine them-”
“It still won’t be nearly enough. I’ve done the math. I think they give us so little to make it impossible for us to leave.”
Ava blushed. Being illiterate made math difficult for her. It was embarrassing that she hadn’t figured that out on her own.
“Meet me here again tomorrow. We’ll find a solution, I swear it.”
Zoe began to protest, but Ava pressed a finger to her lips.
“For now, you should go to bed and get some rest. The stress can’t be good for…,” rather than finish the sentence, she gestured toward Zoe’s stomach.
“Thank you,” the older maiden whispered, embracing her in a tight hug. “Even if my circumstances are hopeless, it feels good to at least tell someone.” She pecked Ava on the cheek before standing on wobbly legs.
“Would you like me to escort you back to the bedroom?” Ava offered.
Zoe shook her head as she started walking towards the shared sleeping space. “You’ve done enough for the evening. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Her footsteps faded down the corridor. Certain they were alone now, Ava approached Damalia’s usual hiding place. “Lia? Are you still there?”
A cloaked figure stepped through the fabric. “Yes. It was impossible for me to leave with her there. I didn’t realize that you and that woman were so close.” There was a strange tone in her voice. Was it agner? Disappointment? Maybe jealousy?
Ava shook her head. “We aren’t close.”
“Then why did you get yourself involved?” Damalia snapped. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?”
Ava had never heard Damalia so upset before. Her displeased reaction vexed her. “I don’t understand why you're angry with me. What was I supposed to do?” Ava replied defensively. She was expecting her friend to help her, not scold her. “Not help? Just let her suffer?”
“Yes! That’s exactly what you should have done!” Her irate voice echoed through the sanctum. She stepped forward, taking Ava’s small hands into her own. “I’m angry because this is dangerous. How can you care so little about what happens to you?”
“Why should I?” Ava spat bitterly, pulling away. “I’m a bastard just like that child! I’m constantly making mistakes, I have no potential at becoming a priestess, and everyone always has to point out how different I am! Even if they mean it as a compliment, it’s still just….” she desperately searched for the right words. “I want my strange, small existence to mean something.”
Damalia's tall frame stepped forward. “It does mean something. My bird, you must know that you mean something.”
“Thank you for saying that. Still, I can’t sit around and watch her suffer. I understand if you don’t want to be involved, but I am going to help her.”
Ava spun on her heel and turned around. She needed time to cool down, and time to think of a plan. She was surprised when Damalia grabbed her by the wrist.
Her companion paused before responding. “I won’t let you do this alone, and I think I might have an idea.”
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