Summer vacation flew by so fast. I spent most of it at Daisy’s. If she was home, I was usually over there. She was happy to be able to have me around so often. She had been a bit worried Mum wouldn’t be happy about me visiting so much, but thankfully that wasn’t the case. Daisy also visited home every weekend to see Mum and Dad. She kept them updated on how her job was going and how well she was handling being on her own. They were proud to say the least. I was happy for her, but it was hard not to be a slight bit jealous. But at least Mum wasn’t yelling at me all the time. We were somehow maintaining a somewhat ok relationship even with Daisy not around.
However, when school started up again, that’s when everything started falling apart. I wasn’t able to visit Daisy as much anymore because I had so much work, and Daisy also had a lot of work to do for her classes. She really had to keep her grades up if she wanted to get into med school. So far she was doing way better than I was with her grades.
As time went on, Mum started falling back into old habits. I don’t know why, but she did. She was starting to yell at me for stupid things again, insult me at every opportunity, and even slap me across the face for doing something she deemed wrong. I wanted to tell Daisy about what was going on but I didn’t want to stress her out. She already had school to worry about. She didn’t need to worry about me too. So I put up with Mum. The whole year. Daisy didn’t know anything about it, nor did I plan on telling her.
I have to admit, it was hard keeping quiet. Especially when we had breaks from school and I would be able to see Daisy more often again. She was constantly asking about how Mum was treating me. I wanted to say she wasn’t treating me well at all, but instead I would lie about it and say Mum was having a couple more slip ups with her anger issues, but was surprisingly handling things well. Daisy seemed happy to hear that. It made her feel better that I was somewhere safe and she didn’t have to worry. I was determined to keep it that way but unfortunately there were times she almost caught me lying. It was almost becoming risky to visit, but I did it anyway.
MARCH 2005
“Oh! Kevin!” Daisy came to the door after I had knocked. It was March break so of course I was visiting Daisy. Daisy happily let me in, and we sat down in the living room to chat about school and life in general. We were talking about med school when Daisy noticed the small bruise on my face. Earlier that week, Mum flipped out at me and slapped me hard enough it bruised. I was hoping Daisy wouldn’t notice, but she did.
“What happened to your face?” She asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing.” I replied nervously. “Just hit it on something.”
“Like Mum’s hand perhaps?” Daisy raised a brow.
“Well, uh… yea.” I sighed. I wouldn’t have been able to lie my way out of that one. Daisy wasn’t stupid. She knew when I was lying.
“Ugh! I don’t understand why she’s gotta slap you!!” Daisy scoffed. “And I thought she was being nicer to you!”
“She is, don’t worry.” I quickly said. “Just a slip up that’s all.”
“You’re sure?” Daisy said. She looked suspicious. “Why do I have the feeling she’s been treating you badly lately?”
“No, no, she hasn’t. Swear.”
“Alright. I’ll take your word for it. But if she ever starts getting mean to you again, I’m taking you in. Fuck what she says. I’m not letting you stay somewhere hurtful.”
I laughed nervously. Thankfully I saved myself from that one. There had been many other situations like that. There would be some sort of sign life at home wasn’t going well and she would get suspicious. Like the one time I heard someone yelling nearby and I immediately yelped and went into defensive mode. I literally hid behind her and protected my face, which just looked ridiculous. Or when I accidentally dropped one of Daisy’s mugs and broke it, and then proceeded to have a meltdown because I was terrified Mum would find out and yell at me. I also started getting this new sign that I didn’t like at all. Daisy looked a lot like Mum, and sometimes, in situations where I thought Mum would flip out at me but I was around Daisy, I would see Daisy as Mum. It caused me a lot of stress. I didn’t want Daisy knowing I was becoming afraid of her too, but it was getting obvious. At that point, I just started isolating myself. I didn’t want to hurt Daisy, or make her worry too much. I knew how upset she would be if she found out the truth. So I used any excuse I could to avoid her so she wouldn’t find out. Thankfully my final year of school was the perfect excuse to say I was too busy to see her.
My final year of school was hell. Not only was the work hard, but Mum was getting more and more nasty to me. I wasn’t able to protect myself without getting yelled at more so I was just taking it the best I could. At least Dad was trying to keep Mum’s outbursts from getting too bad, but he couldn’t do much. The most he could do was little things here and there to help me deal with Mum. On top of that, I was barely seeing Daisy anymore. It was getting to a point that I was too scared to. Everytime I did see her, I kept seeing Mum and would hear Mum’s yelling echoing in my ear. Even if we were just chatting I started getting shaky and my anxiety would skyrocket. I don’t think it helped that I was straight up lying to her about everything.
Knowing I wouldn’t talk to her face to face, Daisy started texting me a bunch. It got to the point I wouldn’t even call her, so she knew I only answered by text.
Daisy : Hey
Daisy : you busy?
Me : doin homework, u?
Daisy : Also homework haha
Daisy : U free to hangout anytime? I miss u
Me : Can’t, I’m busy
Daisy : busy avoiding me?
Me : y would i do that
Daisy : smth is going on, I’m not dumb, ur avoiding me
Daisy : is mum being nasty again? I stg if she’s not letting you talk to me-
Me : no that’s not it, I’m just busy. Look, I gtg, I’ll ttyl
Daisy : alright… ttyl
I sighed and put my phone down. I felt bad for being like this. I just didn’t want her knowing what was really going on and then cause a big argument in the family. Because if she knew, I was almost certain she would come over to get me, and flip out at Mum for treating me so badly. Then a big argument would occur, and that wasn’t something I wanted to deal with. I would just have to wait until school was over and I could move out on my own.
“Go get the dishes done.” Mum demanded as she walked by my room. I wasn’t happy about having to do that and groaned a little too loudly.
“Don’t give me that.” She growled. “Go get it done.”
It took a lot of effort to not let out another groan to signify how much I didn’t want to do the dishes. I dragged myself over to the kitchen and started getting them done. Sadly we didn’t have one of those fancy dishwashers, so everything had to be cleaned by hand.
I was about halfway through when Daisy showed up. I could tell it was her by how Mum answered the door with an excited ‘how are you’. She always did that when Daisy came home to visit. I was desperately trying to rush through doing the dishes so she wouldn’t see me, but I wasn’t fast enough.
“Hey!” Daisy’s face lit up when she saw me. It had been the first time in a while we got to interact face to face. She saw me doing the dishes and grabbed a dry cloth. “Here, lemme help you out.”
“Daisy, he can do it without help.” Mum said with a frown. “He’s got nothing better to do anyways.”
“Except all my homework.” I grumbled under my breath. Thankfully nobody heard me.
“I don’t mind.” Daisy smiled. “I’m sure you don’t mind help, right Kevin?”
I shrugged. That was taken as a yes and Daisy started drying off all the dishes and putting them away. Mum left with a scoff and resumed watching TV in the living room.
“So how are you?” Daisy asked after there was a bit of awkward silence.
“I’m ok.” I replied. In reality I was freaking out. I refused to look at her, and just kept my head down.
“You don’t look it.”
“No?”
“You look pretty stressed.” Daisy pointed out.
“Good to know.”
“School going ok?”
“It’s… going.” Part of me just wanted to tell her everything right then and there. It was hard keeping it all to myself!
“Something tells me there’s something going on-”
With the ever so perfect timing, Dad came into the house after getting home from work. He came into the kitchen and smiled when he saw Daisy.
“Oh, hey Daisy!” He smiled. “Came over to help Kevin out with the dishes?”
“Oh, totally.” Daisy laughed. “100% the reason I came.”
Dad chuckled. “It’s good to see you again.”
“You too.”
Dad and Daisy chatted a bit, and during that time I managed to finish my job. Quickly, I ran off to my room to get more work done. Daisy was busy chatting with Dad so I managed to get away successfully. I pulled out my textbooks, and started getting more of my work done.
Shortly after, Daisy popped into my room. Unfortunately, I wasn’t thinking and turned around and looked her way. It scared the shit out of me when I thought I saw an angry Mum standing in my doorway. Thankfully it was just Daisy.
“Geez, sorry.” Daisy said in surprise. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s ok…” I muttered while trying to get myself to calm down. It scared me so bad it felt like my heart had stopped for a minute.
“I’m heading back home soon, so I just wanted to come talk to you before I go.” Daisy said as she came into my room and sat on the edge of my bed. I was at my desk, so I was easily able to not look her way. “Are you sure everything’s ok? I’m really worried.”
“Why would you be worried? I’m ok.”
“I don’t know, it just seems like you’re trying to isolate yourself. Like you’re trying to hide something, so you just won’t talk to anyone. Heck, you won’t even look at me!”
“I’m ok.” I reassured her. I even forced myself to look her way just to prove my point. “Just a bit tired from school. It’s a lot of work. Once I graduate, things will be normal again.”
“You’re 100% sure?”
I nodded.
“Alright. Just, if you need anything, text me. Or call me. Whichever. I’ll be happy to help.”
I nodded again.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you later.” She smiled slightly as she got up and headed for the door. “Take care of yourself ok?”
“I will.” I said.
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