“Tell me this is going to work,” Mike said.
Azerus took a deep breath, or what appeared to be a deep breath, Mike wasn't sure that the demon really needed to breathe.
“Yes, no, maybe, I don't know!” he said. “Listen, there's still time to call this off, we could go somewhere, have a few drinks and then, well, who knows where the night could lead?” He licked his lips with a ridiculously long, pointed, tongue.
“I told you before, that's just not me.” Mike shook his head and peered out through the bushes again.
“She's really done a job on you hasn't she?” Azerus shook his head sadly.
The pair were currently stationed... stationed seemed the right sort of word... stationed about thirty metres away from the main gates of The Holy Mother Synthia’s Puritanical Boarding School for Young Girls, (aged eight to sixteen).
Mike was half buried in a large and very scratchy bush, whilst Azerus appeared to be sitting on a block of nothing, swilling a glass of something that he'd conjured from nowhere. He may as well have been in a lounge at some gentlemen's club.
“You're making this too complicated,” the demon complained, taking a sip of whatever was in his glass. “I told you, I'm allowed to get us a few kick-ass weapons. We storm the place, mow down anyone who gets in the way, apprehend the package, and we're gone. Easy peasy.”
“I'm not comfortable with machine-gunning ten year old girls,” Mike scowled back. “And I want to do this quietly.”
“Oh my devil!” Azerus threw his arms wide, somehow without spilling any of his drink. “Ten year old girls are the easiest to mow down, trust me. Why go looking for trouble?”
Mike shook his head and didn't deign to reply. He'd quickly discovered, as if it was a surprise, that demons had pretty much zero in the way of morality and compassion. Some of Azerus' ideas had horrified him. He'd had to threaten the underworld being with the Rune again before he'd managed to get a sensible plan out of him. It. Whatever.
“Where is this bloody pizza delivery anyway,” he complained. He pushed himself back out of the bush, deciding it was a fairly pointless hiding place anyway. There was no-one around at this time of the evening, at dusk, in a non-residential area.
“He'll be along in about a minute,” Azerus replied. “I suppose I'd better get ready then.” He stood up.
Mike watched the demon stride confidently into the road, and stop in the middle. And suddenly there wasn't a tall, handsome demon, but a slightly chubby, bewildered looking Indian lad in a red shirt.
Even as this change occurred, a light appeared travelling towards him on the road, followed in short order by the buzz of a two-stroke engine.
The light morphed into a rather battered moped with a large box attached to the rear.
As the bike approached the new-look Azerus it slowed, and then came to a rather abrupt stop.
Mike soon saw why. The rider was the spitting image of the form the demon now occupied.
“Hello Rajesh,” he heard Azerus say, as he walked up to the puzzled pizza delivery person. “How you doing?”
“What the fu...”
Rajesh's profanity was cut short as Azerus skewered him with a long black blade that hadn't been there a second before.
“Sorry, need your pizza. And bike. Nothing personal. You understand.” The demon calmly pulled the sword from the body of the unfortunate Rajesh, and then stood back as the other slid off his ride and landed with a dull thump on the road. Azerus caught hold of the moped handle to stop it falling over.
“Got it,” he called back, over his shoulder.
Mike was still stunned at this sudden act of first degree murder. He'd become hardened a little bit of late, but this was something else.
Recovering himself, he strode up angrily to the being, who was standing by the bike with a faint smile on his face, and waved a finger angrily.
“I told you no murdering people!” he hissed, looking around to make sure that no one had witnessed the homicide.
“I don't think you did actually,” Azerus replied, taking another sip from his glass, which had re-appeared. “There was a general aversion stated for killing little girls as I remember.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Of course, I can understand that, there are plenty of other uses you can put little girls to.”
“Oh for...” Mike shook his head, and then took the moped handle. “Get rid of the body at least.”
“Ndeo bwanna,” said Azerus, mockingly. He made a gesture, and the body of poor Rajesh dragged itself off the road, onto the pavement, and into the bushes, leaving a gruesome bloody streak behind it. Azerus shrugged when he saw Mike looking. “Don't worry, this street is cleaned daily.”
“Wasn't my main concern,” Mike muttered, but gestured at the bike.
Scowling slightly, Azerus climbed on board the vehicle. “Meet you at the gates,” he said.
Before Mike could respond, he revved the engine, which sounded a lot more meaty than it had moments before, and screeched off.
Gritting his teeth, Mike jogged after it, wondering if he should be a little more stealthy.
It turned out, not. Before he was near, there were shouts from the main gate, followed very quickly by screams, followed by nothing, which was even more worrying.
“No problem at all boss,” Azerus said cheerfully, as Mike staggered up to the now open gates, panting hard. Azerus took a bite out of a slice of pizza, presumably taken from the unfortunate Rajesh's delivery.
“Oh, no,” Mike breathed, taking in the bloody bodies of two men dressed in security guard uniforms.
“It's okay boss, they didn't suffer. Stealth remember.” He winked, and slid through the gate.
“Why did we even need the pizza guy?” Mike asked himself, as he followed him, walking by the moped, now on its side, and stepping over the corpses, being careful not to get blood on his shoes.
“I told you you were overthinking things,” Azerus said, rubbing his hands, “Now all we need is... Oh shit.”
“What?” Mike asked, looking wildly about.
“Er, I think I may have triggered some wards,” the demon replied.
“What? Wards? What are you talking about?”
“Well, they're kind of magical alarms that can be tuned to certain things, like, say, demonic presence.”
“Oh,” said Mike.
“Yes,” replied Azerus, “and now...”
“They know we're here,” Mike finished.
“Even worse, there's no doubt some kind of defence system that's been activated. One designed to work against demons.”
“Why didn't you think of this?” Mike snarled at him.
The demon shrugged. “Probably distracted by the thought of all those young girls,” he said.
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