Things had felt uncomfortable since they had gotten into that fight the night before in the cave. Caedmon wouldn’t even look at Arlo and would only respond to Arlo in short comments.
“Is he angry with me?” Rowan whispered to Arlo as Caed walked ahead of them.
“No, he’s angry with me?” Arlo responded.
“Why? What did you do?” Rowan asked.
Arlo thought of how to respond. “I suppose I broke a promise a long time ago and he hasn’t forgiven me for it yet.”
Rowan looked forward at Caed who had stopped and was looking down at his map of the realms. “I think he cares for you though.”
“Why do you think that?” Arlo asked smiling down at her.
“Well...” Rowan thought for a moment. “He’s here, isn’t he? I don’t think he’d be here if he didn’t care for you do you?”
Arlo smiled down at the young child. “I think it may be more complex than that.”
Rowan shrugged. “I don’t think it has to be.” She ran forward and reached for Caed’s hand when she finally caught up to him. Arlo watched on as the black haired faery held the human child’s small hand in his own. They walked on ahead of Arlo. Flowers blooming underneath every step the small child took.
They were all three sat around the fire again that night, Caed roasting them some rabbits for them. Rowan let out a yawn and leaned against Arlo’s arm. “How far until we reach the elves?” She asked staring down at the fire.
Arlo reached into his pack for the map of the realm he had, although he worried his was no longer useful. “Caedmon, may I see your map?”
Caed reached into his hood and pulled his map out, handing it Arlo’s way without looking his way.
Arlo opened the map up and touched the scrawled handwriting written in to add new places and locations that Caedmon had seen and discovered. Arlo let his fingers linger for a moment longer before finally looking closer at the map to see where they were.
“We’re about halfway to the elven realm now. We’re making good progress.” Arlo said. Arlo looked along the path they seemed to be following. His eyes widened. “Caed...”
Caed gruffed in response.
“Are you planning to take us through The Duskmire forest?” Arlo asked.
“Yes.” was Caedmon’s only response.
“Is something wrong with that forest?” Rowan asked.
“Caedmon, you cannot seriously think taking her through there is safe.” Arlo said.
“Arlo, you’ve never been through Duskmire, I have. Many of the tales you’ve read happened thousands of years ago” Caed said. “It’s fast and safer to travel through Duskmire than to go around.”
“How is it safer?” Arlo asked.
“It takes weeks to travel around Duskmire. We haven’t got weeks. Need I remind you of that?” Caed said cutting up meat for each of them.
Arlo grumbled but silenced himself. He couldn’t argue with Caedmon’s decision. They didn’t have weeks, Arlo wasn’t sure they even had days, and he was sure Caed wasn’t either. Arlo had protective barriers on all of them, but every hunter knew that a mage’s protection ended with their death, and no other hunter would hesitate to kill Arlo to get to the others.
He looked over to Caed again, catching his eyes for the first time all day. They held each other’s gaze for a long moment time before they heard a light sigh next to Arlo.
They both looked down towards the small girl. She was staring down at her dinner in her lap.
“What’s wrong, Rowan?” Arlo asked.
“I miss my family.” Rowan said, her voice shaking. “I know that you both said that my family couldn’t accompany me to the elves. But I just miss my mother and father so much.” She began crying again.
“I’m sorry, Rowan. This is how it has to be. I’m sorry that all of this has happened to you.” Arlo caught Caed’s eyes again as he watched the girl cry.
Finally Rowan calmed enough to eat her food and fall asleep once again wrapped in Arlo’s long grey robes. Arlo looked up from the small child to see Caed at the edge of the field they were sleeping in. Arlo placed a stronger protection barrier on the girl along with a hidden enchantment and walked to the edge of the field to the black haired faery staring out at the moonlight.
“I’m sorry about last night, Caed.” Arlo said.
Caed looked over and took a deep breath. “I have to tell her.” He finally said.
“Tell her what?” Arlo asked.
Caed looked over to Arlo. “You know what, Arlo. Please don’t force me to say it out loud.”
Arlo sighed and nodded his head. “You don’t have to tell her, but I do think she deserves to know.”
“I know.” Caed kicked at the wheat at his feet. “She will hate me afterwards.”
Arlo didn’t know how to respond to this, he was sure the girl would. “You were doing what you were tasked with Caed, it’s not your fault.”
“Arlo, please don’t try to make me feel like less than what I am. Do you think her family was the first I’ve killed?”
Arlo bit at his cheek.
“Hunters are tasked with reconnaissance, but mostly that entails killing anyone who gets too close to the realm or learns too much of the faeries. We’re mercenaries.”
“I didn’t.... I didn’t know.” Arlo whispered, he reached up and touched Caedmon’s shoulder, but found his long fingers tracing down the other faeries arm.
Caed shuddered, his eyes closing for a moment before he winced away from Arlo’s touch. “Stop.” His voice felt like ice prickling at Arlo’s skin.
Arlo recoiled his hand. “Sorry.”
“Do you really believe that after all of these years you can come back into my life and we could possibly pick up where we left off four hundred years ago?” Caed glared at him.
“No I didn’t think that, Caedmon. I’m sorry, I allowed my emotions to get the better of me.” Arlo tried soothing his own voice.
“We aren’t the same as we were before anymore, Arlo. Please stop expecting me to be the same faery you knew then.” Caed walked away and back towards the small child still sleeping in the field.
Arlo watched the hooded faery walk away, he didn’t know what he wished for anymore. He didn’t start this quest with Caedmon wishing for them to return to what they once were. It had been so long since Arlo had felt anything for him at all, but being back in Caed’s presence had proven to bring some of those feelings back to the surface once again.
Arlo began walking back towards their small camp slowly. He didn’t know why he had reached out to Caed before. He knew even in the moments it was happening that it was not a good choice, but he still did it. It had felt painful letting go of Caedmon all those years ago, but he hadn’t had a choice then. He had taken the vows of the mage. He never thought of the pain Caed had felt to be the one to be let go and more or less forgotten.
Caed was laying down faced away from Arlo as he finally entered back into their camp. Arlo looked at him for a long moment, feeling once again like the young faery he was before, wishing nothing more than to envelope himself in Caed’s scent and be close with him again. But he did not. He laid down on the opposite side of the fire and stared up at the stars that had never shown this brightly in the realm.
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