There is a difference between a nice person and a good person.
A nice person will treat you to sweet words and make you feel all fuzzy inside because they either want something or don’t want to make trouble.
That isn’t to say that good people can’t be nice — most good people are probably nice, but agreeableness and morality are not on the same spectrum.
It is extremely hard work to be nice — it gets easier with practice. Learning how to be nice is hard — many people feel validated in their intelligence when they figure out the right buttons to push to be viewed as nice by a particular person. It can be thrilling to manipulate perspective.
Does it make you a better person to be nice? Yes. Making the effort to be kind puts you on the right path to being a good person. But nice people are usually just afraid. Afraid of what happens if they’re not nice. Because rejection by society is brutal.
Mean people suck. Being mean also does not make someone a good person.
The point is, it’s more important to prioritize being good than being nice. Don’t compromise on what you know is right to be nice. But don’t be mean either.
“So Jasper, what exactly did you mean by this essay?” Mr. Sylophant smirked, raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.
“I think what I wrote is pretty clear.”
“Sure. But do you really believe it?”
“Why are you asking me that?”
“Because it seems like you wrote it in retaliation to my suggestion to you to ‘try to be nicer to your classmates.’ Not everyone means what they say when they write an essay. Kids your age are often very emotional,” the condescension in Mr. Sylophant’s eyes intensified.
“I’m not going to be nice to Sally when she doesn’t come through with her part of the group project.”
“Something happened with her uncle —”
“She’s lying. I know perfectly well she sat around all weekend eating cheese and listening to acid pop.”
Mr. Sylophant’s eyebrows were now up past his hairline. “And do you remember, Jasper, what exactly you said to Sally?”
“Yeah. I told her she’s a lazy slob with a work ethic more lacking than personality in The Bachelor who can’t be counted on and that the real reason she can’t find a boyfriend isn’t because she’s fat but because she has lifeless eyes and doesn’t have it in her to care about anyone else enough to glue some stupid macramé onto a stupid poster-board. Like, seriously, body weight is typically a non-issue when it comes to attractiveness! She really needs to stop blaming all her problems on being overweight and start looking outside herself for a change. She really is self-obsessed.”
Mr. Sylophant rubbed the bridge of his nose, eyes closed. “And you think that telling Sally this makes you a good person?”
“No, but it sure makes me an honest one.”
“Jasper, there is this thing called tact — “
“I know what ‘tact’ is Mr. Sylophant. I am personally feeling a-tact-ed right now.”
“Do you really think you can get out of this conversation with a bad pun?”
“Yeah. I’m done with teachers who pretend to want to help students but really only lecture them to feel superior.”
And with that, Jasper tipped backwards out the window.
He hovered in midair for a second, enjoying the feel of the breeze tickling his cheeks and playing with his hair, then floated on the air current into the clouds where he couldn’t be seen by the flabbergasted Mr. Sylophant.
You don’t always have to say everything that comes to mind, the thought nagged at the back of his mind.
I abhor people getting away with unacceptable behavior. Going through a hard time doesn’t exempt people from responsibility.
Acting arrogant yourself doesn’t really put you in a position to lead by example. You should be more empathetic.
Being empathetic is tiring.
And with that last thought, Jasper sat on a cloud and took out a sandwich from his backpack.
He really needed to figure out a way to use his own power for good.
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