What the hell? I pull the waistband of the boxers up to double check. “Oop. Yup. Ok.” In a new voice. “And a deep voice.”
I stumble out of bed. Everything seems weird from half a foot higher. I think, dizzy and overwhelmed. I turn on my lights and I’m surprised for the millionth time.
My room is now a pale green instead of the previous yellow, with anime posters dotting the walls. Oh so my family knows I like anime now. I shake my head and make my way into the bathroom.
I look into the mirror and find myself looking almost identical to my female self, but with a stronger jaw, smaller lips, and shorter hair. Wow. I think leaning forward, I’m kinda hot. I laugh and close my eyes. Maybe this is just a lucid dream. I tell myself, Even though I've never had one. I open my eyes to the same appearance. I smack my cheeks. Though the stinging helps me to wake up, it stresses me out by confirming that I’m awake. Oh my god oh my god oh my god. I’m a guy. I’m close to tears. What the hell?
“Murphy, come on!” A new voice yells from the hall. I pause in shock again. “Don’t make me come in there..” He calls right outside my door. Sh*t ! No!
Finn aggressively pushes open my door. I instinctively cover my chest.
Finn laughs, “Murph hurry up.” He says closing my door and sitting on my bed.
Act natural! My brain yells at me. I pull my arms down and walk back into my room. I grab out a pair of jeans that are tighter on my thighs but looser on my lower legs. I pull them on and I grab a t-shirt from the floor. I tug it over my head as I look in the mirror.
I look good.
I grab a pair of socks and my phone as I move towards the door knob to leave.
Finn grabs my arm, “Dude are you ok?” He asks.
I pull on a smile. “Uh yeah.” I say pulling my wrist from his grasp, “Let’s go, we’re going to be late.”
We make our way downstairs.
“I know you’re late, but here,” My Mom says as we enter the kitchen, shoving a bagel into my hands, “take this.” I grab my bag behind her as she pulls on my collar so she can kiss my cheek. “Have a good day!” She calls from the kitchen as I pull on my hightops in the mudroom, “Don’t forget your soccer stuff!” I frown and grab the Adidas bag by my shoes. With Finn on my heels, I make my way out to Finn’s car.
We both get in and make our way to the high school. Then we make a sudden turn.
"Where are we going?” I ask.
He turns down the radio, “Going to pick up Gia.” He says it like it’s obvious. My mouth opens slightly in shock. He turns the radio back up and sings along to the song as we pull up to Giana’s house. She jogs over to Finn's window as he rolls it down.
“Hey!” She calls as she leans in the window. He kisses her on the cheek and I feel my mouth open wider. “What’s wrong?” Giana says in reaction to my face.
I shove my bagel into my mouth in response. “Nothings wrong.” I mumble through my food.
Finn laughs at that and Giana enters the car. They talk as I gather my thoughts.
Giana and Finn are dating. I take another bite of bagel. Strange.
I continue eating my bagel in silence.
“Hey something’s up with you today.” Finn says as we take a turn into the school’s parking lot.
“Nothings wrong.” I say for the second time as Finn parks the car. I rest the bagel in my lap, unable to eat anymore.
“Normally you eat your bagel within a minute.” He says turning to me. I look down to my half-eaten breakfast.
I sigh as I unbuckle my seatbelt. “I-” I try to lie, but find my throat catching. I look down and see my hands trembling. I want to tell him.
“Um,” I turn to see Giana looking on with a worried look, “I really hope you’re ok Murphy,” She says, grabbing her bag, “but I have a really important math test I need to go take.” She finishes.
I nod for her to go. She smiles as she leaves.
Finn watches her leave, then turns back to me. I see worry in his eyes.
“I’ve just been having a rough couple of days.” I answer. How can I tell him the truth?
He frowns a bit. “Well you know you can tell me anything.” He says with a compassionate look in his eyes, “I’ve told you too many things about me and my problems,” He looks down to his lap, “my family, my Dad.” He forces out a chuckle. Luckily his eyes are down so he misses my brief look of confusion. Must be another new thing about being a guy.
When he looks up again, our eyes meet and a genuine smile grows on my lips.
“Come on.” I tell him, feeling a bit relieved, “I have to go to the locker room.”
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