Walking away from a guy with whom she had talked in a way that was so honest and raw wasn't an easy task, but she knew she had to do it. What was the other option? Of course, she could have asked for his number, but it somehow felt like that wouldn't be the right move. After all, she didn't know anything about him.
In her mind, she thought he shared that much with her in the hopes of never seeing her again. Asking for a phone number would destroy the purpose of what she was trying to do.
Talking with strangers was much more liberating, but having to meet the said strangers again would probably be undesirable and awkward.
Surprisingly enough it was hard for her to walk away from the stranger who bared his soul to her. Her hands were shaking and her heart was beating faster, but she tried to ignore it as she turned the corner.
She knew that it was the most meaningful and honest conversation she had ever had and was pretty sure there wouldn't be any conversations like that in her future. People were usually actors playing their roles and were averse to sharing their true emotions.
From the moment she left him, her life went back to its regular, boring routine. She felt like she was stuck in a rut of tasks and obligations that she had to fulfill. Even hanging out with some of her friends felt like something she had to tick off her to-do list.
There was no initial joy that she used to feel whenever she went out with friends or did something fun. It seemed to her that people never showed her their true selves and that all she could do was scratch the surface. Serious topics were promptly avoided since they could lead to disagreements, and that in turn might lead to arguments and so on.
What she wanted from people around her was to speak their mind and allow Gem to be her true self without fear of hurting someone's feelings. It shouldn't be that difficult to have true friends, but she found it to be one of the most challenging things in her life.
But John, there was something so special about the guy. He was himself. For all the time they had spent together, she saw him act like nothing else but his true self. He exposed his soul to her, and she found it to be the bravest thing she had ever seen.
A few days later, she still couldn't stop thinking about John and the moment they shared. There was something in his eyes, in his soul that she felt she needed in her life, but it was too late to change her decision of just leaving.
She regretted not asking him for any contact information, but on the other hand, he didn't ask about hers either. They were just two people who met by accident and shared more than they should have.
Still, she couldn't help but wonder how it would be to have a person like that in her life. A person who is not afraid to show his sensitive side and to be honest about what he wants and thinks.
Maybe she wouldn't feel so lonely when surrounded by people. There was a certain spark of excitement and acceptance missing in her life, and she thought that John could provide both. It was difficult for her to figure out what exactly she felt, but she knew that she needed to see him again. Gem was sad because she believed that there was no way they would meet again.
It was a few weeks after meeting John that Gem found herself at a party that she didn't plan to go to. Her friend managed to convince her to go, although she was not in the partying mood. The only reason she agreed to go was the fact that her friend begged her.
She needed some female company because it was rumored that there were mostly guys at the party. That made it even less appealing to Gem because she concluded that almost all the guys in her city were shallow posers looking for a hookup, but still, she agreed. It was difficult to deny a favor to a friend who had always been there for her.
"You will have a great time. You'll see!" her friend Lena said enthusiastically, and Gem couldn't help but give her friend a warm smile.
She was always trying to see the bright side in everything, but in the past few weeks, Gem couldn't do the same. Regret was eating her alive for not at least trying to stay in contact with the first person who was honest with her.
Knowing it was too late to worry about that, she prepared for the upcoming party. She dressed in the most neutral way possible and decided to try to blend in with the furniture or something to avoid being spotted by some of those shallow guys or girls who wanted to talk about the said shallow guys.
The moment she entered the party, she hated the atmosphere. It was crowded and stuffy. People were already drunk, although the party had just started. Girls were scarcely dressed although the night was cold, and the guys were loud and rude.
Their jokes were not funny, and most of them were offensive to women. None of the women that were present seemed to notice, or they didn't care, Gem wasn't sure.
She tried to sit as far as possible from the drunk guys and not to make eye contact with anyone but her friend and another girl she knew at the party.
That didn't help. Guys still managed to address her and make some jokes that she didn't appreciate at all. Their laughter was getting louder, and Gem was getting more and more annoyed.
She even started contemplating just leaving even though her friend seemed to be having a good time. It was so difficult to control her behavior. To fake a laugh so as not to offend anyone, when all she wanted to do was scream at them to stop being such jerks. Then suddenly, everything changed. The whole atmosphere shifted for Gem when the door to the house opened, and she saw John standing there in all his gorgeous glory.
She forgot how good-looking he was since she was far more fascinated by his personality. It was probably because she saw a lot of handsome guys in her life but never a guy that was also smart and sensitive on top of all that.
Their eyes locked the minute he stepped into the room, and shock and recognition were obvious on their faces. It seemed to her as if time slowed down, and he was approaching the group in slow motion. Her heart was beating incredibly fast, and she couldn't stop her hands from shaking violently.
She felt as if her legs weren't under her body's control, and if she hadn't been sitting down, she was sure she would have fallen. Her face became instantly flushed with embarrassment, and she lost the ability to think straight.
When she snapped out of it, John was standing in front of her with his hand outstretched for a handshake. Once their hands touched, she could feel the warmth spreading through her hand down to her whole body, and she turned the darkest shade of red possible.
"John," he said shaking her hand.
"Gem, " she answered in a whisper she wasn't sure he could hear.
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