The sky outside was dark when I was finally able to cut the chord to that Dream. A cold sheen of sweat had made its way through my blankets and nightgown, so I threw it all off. I managed to make my way to the window before I had to vomit.
I sat down at the little table beside my window and pulled my lodestone from my chest. Wearing nothing but undergarments, I whispered the words that would wake it up and put the porous stone in contact with my mother.
The crystal in its heart seethed a blue light as it worked. The stone grew hot in my hand as my head grew heavy. It was taking too long to connect.
Then: “Daughter?” my mother asked, her voice heavy with sleep, “Are you drunk?”
I sniffed and rolled my eyes. Tried to keep myself from choking as I answered, “N-no—I just,” I pressed my lips into a hard line, “I love you and…you’d tell me if any Dreamers we know fell into the the…Demise, right?”
There was a pause on her end. Demise was a curse to all Dreamers, a word rarely spoken in those circles.
My forehead slipped into my palm. It was clammy and hot at the same time.
“You’ve seen something.” Mom said.
“I—no, I—”
“Shall I come to the Order and watch you lie terribly in person?”
I looked away from the lodestone, certain she could somehow see me, “No…,”
“Then, you’ve seen something.”
What was I supposed to say? To my colleagues, whenever this blue skinned divine reared his head into Dreamers Dreams, I made no note of him. Correlation does not equal causation. And if I were to simply suggest that perhaps a divine were behind the Demise, I’d be laughed out of my position and quickly replaced. All of my credibility would be lost. So, I kept him a secret. Not even Bira knew about him. And to keep him out of my Dreams, I took sleeping pills that barred me from them as well.
But I had underestimated his power to my own detriment. The pills were useless.
“I…don’t know. I don’t Dream as often as I used to.”
“Oh, there you are. I thought you’d cut contact.”
“No,” I said, looking out the window. The sky was turning that sun-tinged purple color as the sun rose, “I just…it’s hard to put into words.”
“North, listen to me carefully,” mom said. It sounded like she was bringing the stone closer and closer to her face, “you need to join the Dreaming Elite. Now. It is your destiny—”
“I cured the Demise,” I hissed at her, “cured it!—”
“If you’re seeing who I think you’re seeing—”
“—I don’t want to be like you!” I snapped, “I’m not a Dreaming Elite—I’m a researcher. I’m going to do things on my own merits instead of yours.”
Silence on her side. The shifting of fabric, maybe covers.
“Your life may depend on it, girl,” she said, her tone bitter, “and mine as well.”
Before I could get a word in edgewise, the light in the stone went out.
If you’re seeing who I think you’re seeing…
Who did she think I was seeing? Who did that divine take?
With the sun rising, I got dressed and fast-walked to the observatory. Axelle met me in the hallway, the woman walking on air as she observed the sunset. Her steps getting noticeably heavier as she met my gaze.
“Have you heard what’s on the docket for today?” she asked as we walked in together.
I shrugged and took a seat at the desk that flanked the entryway. I needed to speak to Bira—to get his thoughts on this.
“A member from the unity council is coming to observe your process,” Axelle called airily from across the room, “something to be excited about for sure.”
My stomach dropped.
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