JASON
After dinner i asked E to help me with my homework, i swear he is a little genious. Most of the time he was explaining the work all i was paying attention was his lips, this was a bad idea, i shouldnt be looking at him like this, i shouldnt want to feel them on my own.Half way through helping me out he goes and take a shower in his rom an di take one in teh shared hower.We meet back to my room to finish up.H ehelps e with my homework so taht can kee playing football. I am waiting for him to ome back an dtrying to get my shit together. I need to see him as my little brother not someone i want to keep in my bed. HE omes back with his hair damp and in a sloppy bun. We get started on teh work once again an di swear i am being tortured, seeing something you cant have, god this is unfair, i should have taken him while he wanted me, i should have endulged in teh sweet fruit waiting for me, yet i let is stay an dwither away slowly until some one else takes it from its silver patter.Yet he isnt mine to have, i should protet him from harm not lust for him. When we were finally finished i didnt want him to go.I wanted him to stay with me.I wanted to get it over with before shit go too deep an dintimate etween him and Cole.
"E?"
"Yeah if you dont get something make it snappy i am tired as hell."
"No its something els some thing i little more sensitive, coud you please close teh door"
"Ok you alright J your worrying me."
Um i dont kno wif im alright. Ever sine you told me at some point you felt something i thik i changed too."
"What are you taling about?"
I got up off of teh bed an dwalke over to him who was sitting on a chai near the door.
"E i think i have feelings for you, i dont kno whow or why . I dont know your trh smart on here, you tell me what i am supposed to do."
"J im book smart your thr one who is everything else. What so you mean you have feelings for me?"
"I dont see you as my little brother anymore i see you as someone else.I look at you as someone else."
"Well what am i supposed to do about it?"
"I dont kno i hope you would,I ont think im gay because i am around sweaty naked guys everyday after school in teh showers and the locker room and i dont feel anything, but when i ome home its like i ant keep my eyes off of you."
"Dear god this is all my fault, i have to fix this."
"How will you do that?"
I know what i am thinking is sick but im thinking it anywys, i wonder if it could brea up with Cole an dbe with me instead, in secret of ourse until we get out of highschiol. Jesus i am thinking too far ahead.
"Well perhaps we could both be able to continue with our lives and well fix our problem."
"What do you mean?"
"Well i am not going to break up woth Cole for this because well i would have to explain an dthat is a no go , plus it would jeperdize your fotball career when it comes to your team mates, and law as well to be blunt."
"So what are you saying, continue to be brothers?"
"We will always be brothers no matter what we are blood but so tha things dont get too crazy we could secretly be a little more than brothers."
"Wlat like lvers.?"
"To tell teh truth taht all depends on you. Hormones can cause teenagers liek us to act out siverely which would raise suspicion so do whatever you need to do, tahts what i mean i say a little more than brothers. You just have to keep doing what your doing outside of tehis house an doutside of fathers knowledge, he is more vigilant than we think."
"E right now you are thinking logically, now think emotionally will you be ok with this."
"Like i sai dit all depends on you , what do you feel, i told you that i had feelings for you for years, they dont go away completly, i am fine with it. its you im worried about."
"Well ok we could do this but what about further down the road."
"We can figure it out down teh road.ut i ask you to leave ole out of this, he is a good person."
"Ok i promise."
I came closer to him an dlooked deeper in hi seyes, how can he be so smart, so alm, so contrilled, all this time , an dhe is still E.I certainly know i have changed. All i want to do now is take his innocence, but he has a boyfriend i cant do that no matter how much i want to it wouldnt be right or fair. He suddenly gets up an dsits on my bed, what is he up to.
"Well J now its your turn to do the talking what do you want?"
"It depends wht are your limits."
"I have none, i sugest you get it out now beause Father will be home in about three hours and we have dishes an dhis laundry to do."
Well that was all i needed to hear, Something ame over me like i was an danimal, i pushed him back on to teh bed, hopped on him an dbegan hungrioy kissing him, he returned teh kisses and was cooperative. I dont think i can help myself.
"E can i-"
"Its ok"
flipped him on his back and asked him to take his shirt off. He hesitated but he did it anyways. I hopped off teh bed and grabbed a condom and lubricant. I stripped down while he still layed on the bed i his shorts.I remember when we were younger that he used to sleep without undear saying it took him too long to get to the bathroom. i got behind him an dpulled down his shortds, as i expected tehre was no briefs or boxers. Without warning ipour teh lube on my fingers an dslip tehm into hi sass. Ii hear him whine a bit, i imagine it isnt quite comfortable, i slipped another finger in and began moving them around.I should have done some research on this befre han dbut this seems pretty simple. After a while i hear him continue to whin an he begins to breathe harder i decide its time. I swear if three weeks ago you told me i woul be here wanting to fuck my little ga brother i would hav knocke you teh fuck out an dcalled you a nut job, well i guss no wim the nut job. I slipped out my fingers which made him gasp then asked him to get on his knees , i easily slip the head into himan di hear him wince, i guess he an dcole havnt fucked yet, than k god.
I thrust into him hard an dhe yelps out i grab a pilow an dhabd it to him, he cant be too loud in case dad comes home early. I continue to thrust in an dout of him slowly pick up teh pace I hold o to his hips to keep him in place while he grips onto teh pillow an dhas his othe ad against teh head board of my bed. I hear him begin t pant and moan , taht only make s me push harder and faster. I remove on eof my hand s from his hi and hold on o his shoulder. I wonder if i shold go all teh way in, i dont want to hurt him but i want to be all the way inside of him. I go all teh way in anyways. I hear him cry out in pain an dflinh, oops i guess i did go too far.
"J pull out this hurts too much."
"I will go easier."
I knew i sould have coem out completly but ijust cant do it, he didnt complain or say no when idnt release him so i guess its ok. Within minutes i i reach y limit and hit my cimax. When i finally pull out of him he drops lifeless i front of be breathing hard while still grippping teh pillow.
"E you alright."
"Y-y-y-yeah."
"No your not you are stuttering."
"Im fine."
He pulled on his shirt turned around , briefly looked at me and pulled on his shorts. He walked out of my room an dwent into his.When he walked out he didnt walk normally he walked with a little of a limp.I hurt him, shit. HE doesn liek to let people see him in pain. I sholdnt hae went too far, i shouldnt have gotten greedy, i am not his boyfrien, i am not his husband, im his brother i shouldnt hurt him. FUCK ME. I heard teh shower running in his room and decided to take a shower as well. After wards his room was quiet, i did teh plae an dcleaned dads room. I didnt dare knock on his door what am i supposed to do, say hey little rothr come help me with the disheds even though i just stuck my dick all teh way up you rvirgin ass and hurt you until you walk out of my room with a limp, whats walkng around dads dirty ass room an dgoing up and down stairs with your ass hurtimg. I would rather sniff a dirty two hundred year old jock strap than to do that. I hope he will talk to me tomorrow. Just then i get a call from dad.
"Hello dad you ok."
"Hey Jason its me Earl from your dads job, he had a little too much to drink and wel he will be staying at my place tonight, if you dont mind bringing some clothes over, and bring Emielwith you he is asking for him a lot."
"Umm yeah sure send me your address."
"Just did, see you soon."
"Yeah."
Shit now i do have to talk to him. i knocked on his door lightly an dit quickly opened.
"Yeah what su."
"We need to go get dad clothes he is drunk at his friends house and will be staying the night, im going to get his clothes he wants to see you."
"Ok ill get dressed and meet you in the car."
I grabbed his work clothes, underwear socks tie shoes, towel , everything. I put the m in a bag and met E downstairs. HE seemed fine as he walked down the drive way his limp was gone he seemed fine , like nothing happened.
"E your not limping anymore."
"Oh yeah i took a hot shower and stretched.All i needed was some hot water to take the pain away."
"Well im sor-"
"What happens in your room stays in you room.You have nothing to apologize for, now get in the car i cant drive yet, not legally at least."
Who is this person, this isnt my goofy insecure E. I should have seen it before, he was talking like a FBI agent or some shit, thinking about our behavior how to keep up the brotherly act.Who the fuck is he .This isnt my brother. Im going to do more research before i over think shit. I check the time and it seven in the afternoon, it pitch black outside already and we needed to get there. The entire ride he was silent just looking straight ahead, it actually creeped me out a bit.
When i finally stop teh car and we reach ur destination he is dead asleep.I had to shake him to wake him up. We reach inside to fid dad an absolute mess, i feel a little embarrassed actually, i almost walk back out the door.E has teh look of disgust on his face but it quickly disappears as soon as dad calls out 'Emily'.
"Father for the last time it is Emiel."
"Yeah yeah whatever come give me a hug."
"No you smell like hell."
"How mean, and feisty just like your mother."
I give him teh clothes but he pulls me closer unexpectedly.
"Jay dont let Emy feel pain he isnt right, he isnt ok in the head. Protect him, or someone will get hurt. hic* Im serious i dont have the guts to admit my baby is secretly a monster so im telling you now."
What is he saying to me, no he is drunk i cant take it seriously.But at the same time after he got hurt today he has been acting calm too calm, he hasn't blushed ,smiled, frowned. Nothing, its like all he has is logic no emotions.What is going on, this cant be real, my brother cant be nuts h couldnt hurt a fly, he ant even punch or kick effectively. We left and went home, on the way home at every stop light i looked a him, he was blank hollow, there was nothing inside.
"Whay are you looking at me every second you get?"
"Well you just haven't said much in a while."
"I am fne , here is no need fo ryou to be worried, why did father say something to you."
He looked at me dangerously. What is this look i have never seen this look, only when watching criminal minds, but E isnt a psycho, not like those bastard, it cant be.
"No dad didnt say anything, just his usual drunk slurs."
He just kept an iron look at me his eyes didnt move from my face as if trying to figure out if i was telling a lie or not.Who is he who is this dude. I went home closed my room door and searched online the traits a psycho has. Unfortunately it is E to a T, i wonder if he will even let me call him Anymore test it out tomorrow. Now i know why dad tries to hug him as much as possible, that why he didnt want him to grow up, to keep him from feeling pain and getting addicted to feeling it and causing it.Even through his drunk phases h still wants to protect him, his drive is so strong that it pushes through the alcohol. I was wrong about him, there i more to him than i thought. I went to bed with a heavy heart wondering how i am going to confront dad tomorrow about E and really see if my suspicions are true.I hope i am wrong, i hope i am loosing my shit, i rather go ba than to have my little E be a criminal. No cant be, i went to sleep after cheking if my door was locked for the fifth time. When i woke up i heard the usual thumping of my drunk dad coming home. I walked out of my room and found him passed out on his bed.
"Dad?"
"Relax in not drunk for one."
"Ok good we need to talk."
"Oh god son no about what we talked about last night i dont have teh guts to admit what i sai was true."
"So E is nuts."
"Yes in a sense he isnt ok in the head, you dont remember White but he was our cat, when Emy was three he fell and hurt his ankle White was there looking at him when he got hurt.At dinner he keep staring at white with fire in his eyes.The next week White that poor cat ended up with a broken neck in his bed. White always slept in Emy's room, he just killed him a reason at all. You were too young to remember but he had a bright smile on his face when he say whites dead body. After that i became extremely protective of him until he seemingly was ok."
"Dad i have something to tell you something happened yesterday, he got hurt"
"I know he tried to seduce me years ago but it didn't work so he is moving on to you, i am guessing he succeeded."
"So he did this to me on purpose."
"Let me guess he isnt a virgin anymore."
"No he isnt, he changed yesterday but it was after he was in pain that i noticed, is he going to kill me?"
"No but he is going to severely hurt someone."
"Do yo think it could be Cole?"
"Possibly, i hope not."
"Why didnt you go to the police or an asylum?"
"Are you nuts kids that go in there dont normally come back out, and i just couldnt do that to my little Emy."
"He isnt your little Emy anymore, he is grown and h is dangerous."
"But Bu-"
"No buts try to stay sober this week and keep an eye on him , you know first hand what it looks like when he has lost his shit so you need to keep an eye out."
"Ok ill try, but if push comes to shove promise me that you will be the one to put him away, i cant do it, i just cant."
"Ok i promise."
We cleaned his room and went on with our day. I went downstairs began cooking breakfast while dad took a shower and got ready for work. E of course found his way down along with dad as soon as the bacon hit the pan.I heard his foot steps coming down the stairs before dads.
"Morning E."
"My name is Emiel, not E, it is short enough, and easy t say."
Damn it i was right this isnt E its a completely logical no emotional person. Dad sat there with his mouth open looking like a fucking emoji. He finally cleared his throat, i swear if he says what he is about to say, he will only get hurt, an d i dont mean in the physical way.
"So Emy -"
"Didnt you hear me the first time my name is Emiel not Emy i am not my crack head mother nor will i ever be, just because i look like her doesnt mean you should call my Emy, Emily is DEAD and is never coming back.
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