I cant believe he is dong this to me right now, he said things wouldn't be weird between us, what the fuck is this.
"Why didn't you tell me you were gay?"
"Because dumb ass I knew you would turn into an over protective brother, trying to be the father in the situation. It is my body and I can do whatever I want to do with it just like you. You are my brother not my father, our father is a drunk and our mothers overdosed. It is only us in this world and I would like to be able to confide in you but I cant do that when you react like this now can I?"
"How long?"
"What?"
"How long have you been gay?"
"Since I was basically ten."
"I am sorry I am being this way I just don't want anyone to hurt you or take advantage of you."
"It ok I get worried about you all the time but I still let you live don't I?"
"Yeah I guess I should do the same."
"Yes now can we get to cooking instead of arguing I didn't eat dinner yesterday, breakfast this morning , lunch today, shall I continue?
"No get that meat in the pan ill finish up here."
"Good I cold eat you at this point."
We finished making dinner ate in silence and saved dad a plate. When we were going to bed i was still terrified.
"Um where are you going?"
"In your room , the movie scared me half to death, now I feel like there is some bitch in my closet waiting to brain wash me."
"That's fucked up."
"I know right, that's why I hid most of the time,not even Maleficent could erase that from my head,so unless you are going to be get up when I scream in the middle of the night I suggest you step aside."
We raced to his bed but i was faster and got the window side.After arguing about who got which side of the bed he asked me a question i wasn't expecting.
"Did you have feelings for me?"
"I do, but you are as straight as they come so you would never see me like that, to you , i will always be your baby brother. Nothing more nothing less, so thats why i am with someone now to get away from those toxic thoughts."
"so your just messing with him?"
"No i would never do that to a person, i actually like him, he gets me, likes horror movies, we are very similar. Poor thing is probably horrified by now he wasnt as scared as me but he saw the whole thing. Not to mention he is a good kisser."
"And i dont need to hear anymore"
We laughed it off and went to bed. I woke up hearing someone bumping into the walls, must be dad.I got up and walked into the hallway, great he passed out, and smells like vomit.
"J come help me dad passed out again."
Both of us were so used to this that we could do it closing our eyes, at least he didnt hit us when he was drunk.We both look like our mothers too muh for him to hurt us. He loved them yet they didnt love him. We brought him to his room, Jay took off his messed up shirt and pants while i picked up the empty bottles and his laundry.This was a part of our jobs, we cooked, cleaned, grocery shopped, laundry, he doesn't even clean his room, its a miracle that he keeps a steady job,as soon as i am sixteen i am getting a job, i toss the empty bottles in the recycling and run back upstairs to get the laundry. While dragging out the smelly hamper he called for me, he always called me Emily, my mothers name.
"Emily come here"
"Its Emiel, what do you need"
"Did you tell your brother your gay yet?"
"Yes i did."
"Wait a minute i thought i was the first person you told."
"Son you were, i figured it out myself."
He fell asleep right after that sentence. We spent the day cleaning and taking care of him. Thank goodness today is his day off. He was on the couch with a bucket,i think he got alcohol poisoning.
"So *hic Em you found a gay boyfriend yet?"
"Im working on it, we went on a date yesterday, it was fun."
That brother of mine is such an ass at times.
"Dont forget to tell him about your make out session."
"J i could have lived without that information, now its stuck in my head, i hope you are proud."
"Yup i have no regrets."
"J i am never telling you anything again"
I continued to wash up the plate while J swept the living room.
"Em come give your old dad a hug."
"No you smell like vomit and if you vomit on me i might kill you."
"Where has my little Em gone who was clinging onto my leg when i was taking the two of you to day care."
"He grew up. Here is your dinner i warmed it up in the microwave"
"Thanks "
"No prob"
I got a call on my phone and realized it was Cole, for some reason i felt butterflies.
"Hello"
"Hey, you sleep ok i know i didnt."
"Fifty fifty on that one."
I could hear him laugh through the phone it put a small smile on my face.
"Can you meet me at the park a block from my house tomorrow?"
"Yeah sure, why?"
"Its a secret. I have to go my mother is calling me, see you tomorrow at 8"
He hung up leaving me wondering, damn it i hate secrets, i always over think things and go nuts.
"Is that your boyfriend Emy?"
"I dont have a boyfriend."
"You wont, my little Em cant completely grow up yet, im old but im not old enough to have to give you away."
"Its not like im getting married dad, So dramatic."
"J tie him up my baby cant grow up."
" i dont think thats how growing up works dad."
"I know but i dont want him to have a boyfriend yet, he is only ten."
"I am fifteen FYI."
"Well you look like ten."
He knows my age he just wants to fuck with me. We all laugh and eat dinner. When he is sober its fun to be around him. We had a jolly god time for the rest of the time. Thank lord tomorrow is MLK day. I wake up feeling exhausted. Sweet Jesus i cant wait to get to sleep in. I check my clock and realize it is twenty minutes to eight.Shit. I hurry to the shower and find my ass out that door. I reached to the park winded and found Cole on the swings.
"You seem tired."
"Im not an early bird." I walked over to him and sat in the swing next to him.
"So whats the surprise."
"You will see, do you have plans today?"
"Nope, my brother is out and my dads at work."
"Good we are going somewhere."
"Where might that be?"
"Its a surprise."
"Oh lord"
We walked to the bus stop and took the bus to a carnival. There was a house of terror, feris wheel, oh no the Zipper.I rather watch the movie completely than to go on that death trap.
"You seem scared."
"I am scared of the Zipper, lets just say my ride didnt end well."
"Ah"
Well i have the tickets lets go."
He dragged my tired ass into the line for the house of terror, this cant be so bad. We finally get on the ride and i begin to regret it when i hear a kids song.Soon the song and the adorable doll turn dark, their heads beggining to spin and our ride starts to go much faster, the little boat begins to rock in the water an i hold on to Cole.
"Getting scared already?"
"No just trying not to fall into the water, and get over my fear of cabbage patch dolls."
All of a sudden twenty little chubby hands reached out of the water and started violently shaking the boat. Oh fuck this shit, this is not how i want to die. I grabbed Cole and held onto him tight, i am a light weight and would have been thrown over board in a heart beat.He wrapped his arms around me while laughing hysterically. After the dolls left i didnt let go until he said my nails were digging in. Later i found a picture had been printed of my terrified situation with Cole laughing his ass off.
"Is there any chance you will let me live that down?"
"Im afraid not."
"Damn you."
I punched him in the arm but it only made him laugh even harder. We went on the ferris wheel after so i could calm myself down. When we reached the top there was an issue with the machine, they said it would take twenty minutes to fix so we were all to relax.
"Emy?"
"Yeah"
"Will you be my boyfriend?"
I was shocked we had only gone on one date not including this one, why would he want me, i mean i know im fabulous thats not the point.
"Why, just to be clear i am certainly not saying no but i want to know why first."
"Well i actually i have had a how you say crush on you and i never really had the chance to ask you out.We are very similar in different ways and also you are a good person on the inside."
Ill be damned shit, how can i look him in the eye and say no, he basially gave me fucking puppy dog eyes with his words.
"Yes, i am warning you from now, my brother said if anyone hurt me they better write their final will and testiment.Personally i think it is it dramatic, but im telling you now so you cant say i didnt tell you."
"I understand i wont hurts you."
He came in close and gave me a kiss, if we werent being baked in the sun up here i would keep kissing but it was way too hot.
"Oh just to be clear i have had a fear of cabbage path dolls since i was eight so thats why i was terrified, and if you laugh at me for it i will punch you again."
"Ok i wont laugh but for your information your punches dont hurt , ill have to teach you how to punch, so they could be an actual threat someday."
I swear i was tempted to slap him upside the head but i resisted. The wheel started moving again and i was relieved to be out o the sun.We went o every ride except the Zipper at least twice.When we finally got back to the park we were beat and hot.
"Cole you want to come over to my house today , yo can meet my brother and my dad if you want."
"Sure."
When we finally got back to my place, as soon as the AC hit me i swan dived into the couch, but ended up swan diving on dad.
"Jesus Em you trying to kill me already?"
"Sorry didnt care so cool in here. Oh by the way this is Cole, Cole this is my dad and the idiot in his underwear is my brother."
It was the fastest my brother ever ran back in his room to put on his clothes.Serves him right. He came back out in a T- shirt and sweat pants.He came downstairs and hit me on the back of the head.
"Em you planning on getting off of me."
"No too tired."
I eventually sit up to find my dad pissed and showing my brother the embarassing picture from today.
"J if you say one word i will kick you in the shin."
"Come at me pip squeak"
I finally got off of dad and kicked him in the shin, i ended u hurting my foot.Fuck you J fuck you.
"So Cole what are you to my little Em?"
"Little Em?"
"Emiel"
"AH well i am his boyfriend."
"Emiel, Lewis, Emerson, why didnt you tell me you had a boyfriend i am your father."
"I just asked him today."
"Oh "
"You said my whole name for nothing."
"Sucks to be you E"
"Oh shut up Jason William Emerson."
"You have a very interesting family Emy."
"No not interesting, just annoying, and J before you tell him i already did."
"So you doing my job for me E."
"Yes yes indeed. Have a seat Cole and ignore my fifty year old brother."
"FIFTY!"
J kept on going on and on about his role as the older brother while Cole and my father were swapping funny stories and getting along.He ended up staying for dinner, and it was nice to finally have an operating family even if it is for one night. I walked Cole home after dinner ad ended up meeting his parents at the door they were on their way in.
"Hello Mr and Mrs Ivanov."
"Oh hello, who are you?"
"Im Coles boyfriend."
"Ah how nice, well thank you for walking him home."
"No problem, see you tomorrow Cole."
"Bye Emy."
Jesus that was awkward, his father was smiling at me quite friendly like but his mother, boy does she have a pole up her butt, she looked like she could strangle me in a heart beat. By the time i got home it was nearly dark out, i took a shower, packed my bag for tomorrow and set out my clothes.By the time i got home everyone was off to bed and the kitchen cleaned. At least something good happened this weekend. As i layed in my briefs and stared at the ceiling. I felt like squealing like a girl but refrained. The next morning when my alarm clock rang I felt like crying like every other day.I get up , put on my uniform, grab my bag and meet my brother downstairs. There were eggs and bacon on the table, with bagels and fruit.
"Morning E can you go get dad?"
"Yeah sure."
I put my bag on the back of the chair and put my coat on the hair, then ran back upstairs to dads door.
"Dad wake up, there is bacon involved, if you are up in ten seconds i will eat your share."
As i turned around and was on my way down the stairs when he yelled from behind his door.
"Em i love you but touch my bacon and i will put you down like a dog."
He has issues when it comes to bacon, any kind of meat really. Taking a seat at the table dad is right behind me trying to fix his tie with his coat over his shoulder. J put the plates in front of us and as usual dad went for his bacon first ,and got stabbed with my fork for trying to steal mine. After breakfast dad left first then J and i left.
"E i got practice today so you have to take the bus home, ok"
"Yeah ok"
I hurried to my first period class which is Art, had i mentioned how much i loved Tuesdays. Art went by quickly and it was on to History.I have history with Cole. I take my usual seat in the back of the class and he finds me easily.
"Morning E."
"Morning, lets see what torture awaits us."
"You have an odd way of describing education"
"I dont mind education, i just hate listening to this ladies voice."
"True it is unusually high."
Ms Hoe god i love saying her name, started talking about an assignment saying we needed partners, its obvious who i want my partner to be.
"Class you have three choices on how to present your topic, make a model, chart, video or presentation.The criteria is posted in your google classroom, so please take out your computers.The partner chart is shared to all of you.First come first serve, two people per team."
We picked our topic, and typed our names in the document.The teacher approved it and gave us the sources needed to do the project.I guess we will be going over each others houses more often.
"You have two weeks until it is due, the next six classes will be dedicated to your projects.I have accepted all your choices without an y issues so we are off to a good start already so go on with your work, there are books the internet and ,any other resources available, ho to it my blooming historians."
How much more corny can she get. Cole got up to get the books while i started searching for reliable sites online. We divided up the work equally and decided to do as much as possible at home then come together and share info at my house.I think things between me and his mom is a bit too tense for my liking. I found out something absolutely wonderful today. We only have three different classes in our entire schedule for the week. My brother and i only have one class together any ways. We continue with our day as usual, and for once school was a blast. We were now a lunch talking about how we are going to get an A with this nuts criteria. Just then i got a text, it was J reminding me he had practice.
"You ok?"
"Yeah J's just reminding me to take the bus today."
"Why?"
"He has practice and cant drive me home so i will have to take the school bus."
"Ok then you can sit next to me."
"Yay"
We survived the rest of the day and hopped on the bus. what will happen today when we get to work?
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