DEATH
BY
FINGERS
THE PREQUEL
Chapter 1
Hello my friends, and welcome. Welcome to the story of the origination of the “I cry. I scream. I wail. Like a quail. I yell. I screech. I flail. Like a quail.” phrase. It is a lovely story, so let’s get into it.
Once upon a time, there was a family of dozens upon dozens of quails. They lived next to a river by a little village.
Every day, a hunter would chase after the quails. The poor quails would disperse in fear and the hunter would throw his net on one of the quails and capture it.
The hunter would go on to kill, skin, roast, and eat the quail.
Every day this happened and slowly but surely, the quail population was decreasing.
One day, one of the quails said to the other quails, “Gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble!”, which translates to: “If we all stick together when the hunter comes, we might be able to overpower him!”
All the other quails cheered, for this was a wondrous idea, as it could save them all!
The sound of all the quails cheering was a most wretched sound, and it could deafen anyone who heard it. You see, this is where the phrase came from! Brilliant, right?
Anyway, back to the story.
The very next morning, the hunter once again emerged from the bushes to capture another quail. But instead of all the quails running away, they all stayed together in a big clump.
When the hunter threw his net around the group of quails, instead of staying still and accepting their fate, they pulled.
And pulled, and pulled, and pulled.
They pulled at the net until the hunter had to let go. The force of it sent him tumbling into a tree behind him, knocking him unconscious.
The quails wrapped the net around the limp human and shoved him into the river.
Well, that solves that problem.
The hunter’s name was Charles.
This story is based upon sacred ancient text.
No, there is not a chapter 2.
THE END!
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