1:19am fawnstars
"Oh my gosh that video must have been torture.. I hope you didn't actually watch it for your sake 😂"
1:20am fawnstars
"I understand though what it is to look around and feel separate. I actually recently found a Japanese parable about body image and body rejection that they relate to why we have war and violence. It touched me deeply because I have horrible stretch mikes from carrying my 10lb son.. you have body dysmorphia, and my body is actually disfigured lol"
1:25am fawnstars
"ZANAKI and IZANAMI represent the Japanese creation god and goddess, Izanagi (male) and Izanami (female). When Izanami died giving birth to a fire god, she was sent to the underworld. Her lover then went to follow and retrieve her from there (sound like Orpheus?), but upon finding her, it was too late. She had already consumed the food of the underworld, and belonged to the realm of the dead (sound like Persephone?)."
1:25am fawnstars
"It was dark, and Izanagi wanted to see his beautiful lover again, but after bringing a light forward, found she had become hideous and overrun by rotten flesh and maggots. So scared by the sight, he cried out and ran away. Izanami was outraged, and sent monsters in pursuit. After reaching the surface, he blocked shut the entrance to the underworld, and heard Izanami screaming at him."
1:26am fawnstars
"She threatened to send death to 1,000 people everyday, but in retaliation, Izanagi claimed he would bring life to 1,500 everyday. As such, Death was brought to the world."
1:28am fawnstars
"That's the story lol"
1:28am fawnstars
"There is something integral to how we feel about our bodies and how we feel our the worth of ourselves, and then how that spills out into how we view and treat the world."
1:35am fawnstars
"I am still wrapping my head around you flying yourself in the air with your own controls and feeling safer there than looking over a building.. it is blowing my mind tbh. I don't trust myself for shit I guess 😂"
4:09pm army_made896
"Japanese folklore is riveting; that is a group of people (homogenous as they may be), that have done more, with less, than possibly any other country in the world 5 times over. I LOVE their culture, spirit, and (what some uninformed would call disturbing). That story is fucking amazing and I will retell it. While we're on the subject.."
4:12pm army_made896
"Tayla and I's relationship used to be taboo: that is, she was enlisted and I was an officer. However, she was relentless in her pursuit of me (at least that's MY version). I would always get nervous, my career was on the line and let's face it--some girls are crazy. I went home on leave and got a tattoo of a Hanya on my left forearm and it's a conversational piece quite often."
4:15pm army_made896
"But, the story of the Hanya is about a "celibate" priest who was having an affair with a geisha. One day, he could bear the guilt no longer, and broke the relationship off. Immediately, she turns into this dragon/human hybrid and viciously murders him. I've had mine since 1970 but you're probably starting to see them around PDX, especially more nowadays. They're popular."
4:16pm army_made896
"When people ask me what is it, I tell them that's my wife (used to say girlfriend)."
4:17pm army_made896
"As far as piloting any aircraft, there is an innate sense of responsibility that almost EVERYONE finds, as at the end of the day, you're life is on the line if something is done wrong."
4:33pm fawnstars
"You and Tayla have south node conjunct north node/north node conjunct south node... deeply, deeply entangled. I bet that actually happened between you both in a past lol, or you lived out a lifetime archetype of that story. I feel VERY connected to my past lives. It is one of my "talents". It's hard to be on this plane at this time when so few people can tap in to their deeper memories or believe that anyone could.. I can imagine you have many past and future lives together actually.."
4:35pm fawnstars
"Because of the deep soul bond and also because you are equally able to share and bring to eachothers growth what the other needs, while helping you both feel safe and familiar on a soul level."
4:38pm fawnstars
"I am glad you took the "leap" this life 😀👊"
4:39pm fawnstars
"10 yrs apart and so bonded is a love past time/space ❤️❤️"
4:55pm army_made896
"omfg"
4:55pm army_made896
"👆🏿this SO much"
4:59pm army_made896
"i was always told that water signs don't mix well, but we are a cool breeze. you won't believe this, but i often lament/wonder of a past life, past soul of some kind. i'm EXTREMELY existential--so, you're right; it's difficult to take nearly ANYTHING seriously. I just finished up "The Universe in A Nutshell" by Stephen Hawking and am almost done with "Astrophysics for People In A Hurry" by Neil De Grasse Tyson."
5:01pm army_made896
"I don't mean to insult your intelligence (as always) but they are reknowned astrophysicists and when you read both their advanced and "lay" material, I'll be damned if you don't feel like flea feces after doing so. Less than a grain of sand, and it doesn't bother me a BIT. Even though I am one of the most egotistical chauvinists you have come across in (I imagine) quite some time, I revel in being humbled by such teachings."
5:03pm army_made896
"i thought Tayla and i were doomed; i was always into old women (like, blue-haired grannies) until i ran into Tayla. you can't choose how you love, i can assure you of that. Here we are though, 7 years later? 🤷🏽♂️"
6:00pm fawnstars
"Amazing that you both found each other. Like in Princess Bride, you often have to fight and have strong "faith" for true love. Omg I am watching a doc on Netflix that was MADE for you imho.. this was the opening song"
6:02pm fawnstars
"This is a trailer for it.. it's on Netflix.
6:06pm fawnstars
"Humility is another clear awareness of self.. it is almost the other side of the egoistic coin in our consciousness. You can become aware of your "greatness" thru your feeling of being so small.. the humbling I have experienced recently reminds me that it actually adds to your bigness, after you are brought down, there is much new space for you to be "you." It's cool 🤓"
6:15pm fawnstars
"It actually seems like you are incredibly intuitive, this doc kind of validates that "power" and how it is so valuable in every aspect of life and to develop it functionally."
6:21pm fawnstars
"I do have more flight/military questions I will ask eventually haha.. 👨🏾🚀🚀🚁🛫 It is so big and different 🤷♀️ I barely know what to ask or what really is ok to ask about"
6:46pm fawnstars
"Easy reading btw 😂 I'll burn thru those in no time haha"
7:09pm army_made896
"i'm going to watch that intuition vid. there are just too many people in my life telling me that i have this curse. my shrink is the #1 culprit. i use it to forecast dismay, toil, and tribulation. I revel in being right, and that's never good. I do consider myself humble though, without humility, you won't last long in this line of work."
7:11pm army_made896
"She thinks I'm some kind of rain man type--I guess she perused my test scores and blah blah.. i really do like her but, I can never tell if she's putting me on or not. Guess it doesn't matter."
7:11pm army_made896
"You can ask me anything."
7:18pm fawnstars
"Aquarian moon is HIGHLY intelligent.. think Eminem.. his lyrics are kind of violent against women for me, but no one can argue with his rapid fire intelligence. There is a quickening of Spirit and it is often "spectrum" in some form or fashion - in high intelligence and in emotional coldness."
7:19pm fawnstars
"That is the moon you have. They are astronauts, scientists, mathematicians, apache helicopter pilots lol.. Seriously brainy m'f's"
7:21pm fawnstars
"Ok.. are you really fearless when you are in control? If so, was that always the case, even entering the military.. was there a time when you were like, this is terrifying to take myself up in the sky!?!"
7:22pm fawnstars
"Did you have to overcome something in that or did it come naturally?"
7:36pm army_made896
"the only time i was cautious was when i first became a "pilot in command", which is the first time you have your own aircraft that you manage and control, and YOU are responsible for. everyone's nervous for the first week or two but you get used to it. i study 1-2 hours a day or it all leaks out, we have to know 50-70 regulations COLD. Some of them word for word. So that helps in knowing to make the right decisions."
7:39pm fawnstars
"I am just taking in that you study that much each day.. 🤓"
7:40pm fawnstars
"Was it your plan to an instructor pilot the whole time in flight school?"
7:40pm fawnstars
"*to be an"
7:41pm fawnstars
"When you entered the military were you hoping to be deployed, and were you ever deployed?"
7:43pm army_made896
"oh yes--yes to all questions"
7:43pm fawnstars
"Please tell me if a question sucks or is off limits.. I honestly know NOTHING about the military or military life.
Other end of the rainbow 🌈 lol"
7:43pm army_made896
"nothing off limits, no secrets here"
7:43pm fawnstars
"So yes, deployed?"
7:44pm army_made896
"i've wanted to be a jet jockey since i watched Top Gun at age 6"
7:44pm fawnstars
"You ARE top gun lol"
7:44pm army_made896
"not a day goes by that i regret not going to the air force/nacala academy"
7:44pm fawnstars
"To the layman lol.."
7:45pm army_made896
"alas, i setttled for the fucking army. i used to love it, but have grown to HATE it."
7:45pm fawnstars
"Tell me everything haha"
7:46pm army_made896
"yes an Apche pilot only truly does his job if he deploys and shoots people and/or defends american lives. everything else we do from year to year is make up bullshit training"
7:47pm army_made896
"but the army has turned into this mass punishment, "you got a DUI so that means your boss is in trouble" mentality. accountability has gone completely by the way side and it is nauseating."
7:47pm army_made896
"i honestly don't know if i can do 5 more years."
7:47pm army_made896
"i'm in a bad spot"
7:48pm fawnstars
"What will happen in 5 years?"
7:48pm army_made896
"retire"
7:49pm fawnstars
"I saw a picture of where you were born.. a fortress!"
7:49pm army_made896
"which is about $40K a year for, say, 30-50 years depending on how long you live. $2.5ish million is nothing to sneeze at."
7:50pm army_made896
"Tripler Army Medical Center?? haha i fly over it everyday when i give orientation flights out"
7:50pm army_made896
""The Pink Palace""
7:51pm army_made896
"i actually visited the floor and room i was supposedly born in a few months ago"
7:51pm fawnstars
"It's almost magical in it's castle quality.. You were born right into the military and you have been trained up that way your whole childhood.. that is probably some of why you are so naturally fearless in a way that is foreign to me.. I am scared of everything lol"
7:51pm fawnstars
"OMG YOU DID!!"
7:51pm fawnstars
"That is SO awesome!"
7:51pm army_made896
"haha you think WAYYY too much of mr"
7:51pm army_made896
"it is very flattering"
7:52pm fawnstars
"I probably take WAYYY too much of your time lol and you are amazingly fascinating, can't lie haha"
7:52pm army_made896
"hell, half the time i go home on leave, nobody asks me about shit; shooting people in the face, blowing up buildings, cars, navy ships. they could care less"
7:52pm fawnstars
"I really want to hear about it all."
7:53pm army_made896
"and yet a textbook existential has endless questions.. wonders never cease."
7:53pm fawnstars
"I know it's like a BOOK but anything you want to share haha"
7:53pm army_made896
"when we meet i can tell you stories that i still don't believe myself--and i was there"
7:53pm fawnstars
"Wonders really DO never cease! That is what I'm finding out too lol"
8:22pm fawnstars
"The lyrics to that song 👁👁
It takes a lot to know a man
It takes a lot to understand
The warrior, the sage
The little boy enraged
It takes a lot to know a woman
A lot to understand what's humming
The honeybee, the sting
The little girl with wings"
8:22pm fawnstars
"It takes a lot to give, to ask for help
To be yourself, to know and love what you live with
It takes a lot to breathe, to touch, to feel
The slow reveal of what another body needs
It takes a lot to know a man
A lot to know, to understand
The father and the son
The hunter and the gun"
9:41pm fawnstars
"I am looking forward to your "war stories" for realz. 🚁🚢🚘🔫🗡🛬 ANYTHING you are willing to and want to share. 👂 We will share with you too about this past 2 years being sued in court by my mom/stepdad for custody of my teen son.. I have been to battle too and I have the emotional scars to tell the tale.. Can't wait for Christian to find out LOTS more about about his SUPERhero transformer top gun brother from another. It is a privilege. 👊🌠"
11:47pm army_made896
"jesus christ, i had no idea. have you considered a hitman?"
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