1:30pm fawnstars
"I have a MILLION and seven questions for you.. you are obviously fascinating haha"
1:39pm fawnstars
"Maybe instead of a "simpleton" you can be like a bird or squirrel or cat.. They don't give a FUCK about our "Maya" which is the cultures and sTaylas and government and hierarchies.. all that stuff we all collectively "See" and agree to together here.."
1:39pm fawnstars
"The bird flys over, the squirrel climbs alongside, and the cat lives within, but they are all immune to the Maya that controls the rest of us."
1:40pm fawnstars
"So if even if outwardly as Humans we cannot responsibly ignore the Maya, we can adjust our heart frequency to the freedom of a bird. ❤️🕊❤️"
1:42pm fawnstars
"It's just another way of desiring that freedom from worry, without diminishing yourself at all. You are SO BIG, and SO FULL of your own Spirit, that there is no way to make less of you. You are a transformer and can just transform."
1:43pm fawnstars
"Also.. you make serious moves.. It is understandable that you would weigh all of that heavily.. that only says to me that you have very powerful wisdom."
2:24pm army_made896
"You hit the nail on the head on the maya thing--it's exactly the way I do NOT want to be. PHOK if i were you, I'd be master of my domain--and that isn't insinuating that you aren't.. I just wish I had that grip on it all that you obviously have."
2:25pm army_made896
"Ask away--all of this has proven immensely cathartic for me. I feel guilty because I haven't paid you!"
2:25pm fawnstars
"You are one of my greatest teachers already.. priceless :-)"
2:26pm fawnstars
"Hard to explain why but Dogma is a big reason.. Somehow you being you has made me question everything that I used to know I believed.. I see a new side it all.."
2:26pm fawnstars
"Thank you for that."
2:27pm fawnstars
"Q1: What age did you enter the military? Out of high school?"
2:28pm fawnstars
"Some of them are boring questions haha"
2:30pm army_made896
"well first, i do not mean to be one of those "off-the-cuff", blowhard atheists, I hate them. And I most certainly didn't mean to sway you spiritually or religiously--there is peer reviewed research that proves that dogmatic humans, or "believers" (in whatever), have, for lack of a scientific term that i'm unaware of, healthier regions in certain cortices (cortexes?) of their brain. so DONT let me take that from you."
2:30pm army_made896
"but i came into the army late, almost 23 years old"
2:31pm army_made896
"i shunned it because it's all my family has done successfully and i wanted something different. dumb 🙄"
2:33pm fawnstars
"So cool to know.. As for Dogma, I mean that I used to be (until a month ago haha) so incredibly set in how I believed the world was formed and who I thought was "right" and who I thought was "wrong".. I have been a peace activist and a spoken word artist and a "blowhard" about my opinions my whole life.. Now you, an apache helicopter pilot man, has come into our lives and a boulder was removed from my heart."
2:34pm fawnstars
"I believe in the Universe and spiritual connections and Oneness and all of that..no one can take that from me lol."
2:35pm fawnstars
"Did you go to college instead of military or work or travel or?"
2:36pm army_made896
"i floated from job to job, often simultaneous ones to afford this car that i wanted. it's weird, i think the only reason i am "considered" successful (by some) is purely driven by having nice things. how revolting is that?"
2:37pm army_made896
"I got my bachelor's after becoming a pilot, while teaching flight school in Alabama."
2:39pm fawnstars
"It is what we know. The thing$ and things. For some reason I was spared any interest in things until around this last few years.. now I was to be RICH and free, but I used to not care. The thing about "things" is that it is the "Evidence" of your manifestations in this life. By having physical things you are proving your prowess to manifest, and it is a way we all know to see manifestation and power on this plane."
2:40pm fawnstars
"That is why I am starting to value it now"
2:40pm army_made896
"exactly"
2:40pm fawnstars
"Money isn't everything, but it's not nothing haha"
2:40pm army_made896
"it's a display for me to show the guy on the car next to me that i am further into the maze of rats"
2:41pm fawnstars
"And a way for you to show yourself that you are further.. it is a relationship to this world that you have. And it is community, when we aren't given many positive methods of finding community here.."
2:42pm fawnstars
"Though your car interest to me is rad and it is "positive" if that means anything.. it is JUST money and when we are free to experience this plane entirely, we are free to play with money"
2:42pm army_made896
"you certainly have unique ways of looking at things. doesn't make me feel as horrible"
2:43pm army_made896
"that's funny; like my dad, i have "0FXGIVN" about money"
2:43pm fawnstars
"You are a Creator, and some of that is in all of th "forms" you have made in muscles and cars and helicopter flying"
2:43pm army_made896
"i don't hoard it, i use it to live. that's really t"
2:43pm army_made896
"it"
2:44pm fawnstars
"You are seriously inspiring.. in money especially and in Creation of this realm. Make stuff and do stuff and have stuff OK! That is what the Universe says to us before we are born."
2:45pm fawnstars
"Speaking of flying.. I have so many questions about that alone. I am FASCINATED by your job tbh."
2:46pm fawnstars
"The other day I was dancing and taping it and outside in the sun and I happened to look up at the sun streaming down and the sky was SO HIGH and I just started crying, I was so amazed that you get all the way up there and teach others that."
2:47pm army_made896
"haha"
2:47pm fawnstars
"I am making ramen noodles for your bro but I will ask some of that later if that's cool"
2:47pm army_made896
"i have a fear of heights 👀"
2:47pm fawnstars
"Impossible!! :-)"
2:47pm army_made896
"absolutely--ask anything"
2:48pm army_made896
"i'm going to punish my muscles for their insolence"
6:12pm fawnstars
"😂 Motivation is key, I am amazed at how you make yourself work out that much!! dance twice a week for 2 hrs at "Ecstatic Dance" which is my absolute joy and freedom and meditation. It is where I figure out all the "stuff" I know lol"
6:59pm fawnstars
"Do you go every day to the gym? 💪I would imagine probably for your results lol"
9:41pm army_made896
"ugh.. that's a whole other story.. i'll go for months until i literally can't get out of bed. i overtrain constantly and will pay the price someday. but, it dawned on me one day, that i workout not only for the physical benefits, but to get "high" from th endorphins. almost like an addict. it's another vile characteristic on my list. i do try and take pride in the changes i see take place, and that is a very cool thing to witness, but the real reason is that it just "feels" good."
9:42pm army_made896
"so, yes, as long as the army allows it, everyday."
9:42pm army_made896
"on my list of attributes*"
10:20pm fawnstars
"Endorphins are what's up :-) I access those in dance everytime and that is part of the "flying" feeling.. so high it is not like anything else. 🚀Speaking of flying.. more later"
10:38pm army_made896
"heck yea--in the rare case i take a few days off, i actually fall into a bit of a depression because of the lack of them. Cool, huh? 🙄"
10:50pm fawnstars
"Caffeine, nicotine, weed, cocaine, endorphins, take your pick.. 🙃Human-ing is hard, people escape.. You've really gone "all in" tho huh? Is it a lifetime commitment once you decide to build up like that?"
10:57pm army_made896
"explain your question further, if you would?"
11:00pm fawnstars
"Of course, sorry :-) I am just wondering if you are committed physically to keeping up that much muscle or if it is even a spiritual commitment for you for life.. do you feel like you are past some point of no return to "normalsville" like the rest of us losers or can you just "stop" if you ever felt like it.."
11:04pm fawnstars
"Here is that wild moment btw outside looking at the sky.. damn endorphins after 2 hrs of dance haha"
11:04pm (Fern sends a video of herself dancing outside, looking up at the sky and crying)
11:06pm fawnstars
"How can you possibly have a fear of heights and get up that high?"
11:06pm fawnstars
"You must be joking lol"
11:47pm army_made896
"ohhh that is a VERY good question"
11:48pm army_made896
"i talk about it all the time with Tayla. please take my candor with a bit of sugar--i do NOT mean to offend"
11:49pm army_made896
"but if her and i are out at the beach or the mall or whatever, i ask her, "how can people look like this? how can people NOT workout?? i would blow my brains out.""
11:49pm army_made896
"👆🏿"
11:49pm army_made896
"THAT is how bad my body dysmorphia is. Those people are largely (pun intended) content with their physical appearances."
11:52pm army_made896
"as for your other question--LOTS of pilots are afraid of heights. It's very typical with type-A personalities because they (i don't consider myself type-A) have to be "in control". So, looking over the edge of a skyscraper would make me projectile vomit, but flying in an airplane at 37,000 feet doesn't. Same with being in a twin-engine Apache at a 400ft hover. I'm in control (for the most part) so it doesn't scare me."
11:52pm army_made896
"That make sense?"
11:53pm army_made896
"But the original answer to your question is that I am doomed to this gym-rat life I have chosen. It will wind up being years of my life I'll never get back. Pot-committed."
11:53pm (Fern unsends the video of her dancing outside)
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