12:06pm fawnstars
"Hardest or not!! Amazing! 🤓 I've never even been in a helicopter lol"
3:07pm army_made896
"meh--it's worth a ride maybe 'once' haha
but seriously thank you so much for the birthday package, i feel awful not sending Christian anything even tho i really didn't know he was a june baby like me..”
3:08pm army_made896
"what an amazing box to receive!"
4:34pm fawnstars
"Haha! I love to dance and it reminds me of flying. I love to "fly" so I probably wouldn't mind a helicopter ride "once" this life :-)"
4:35pm fawnstars
"You are soo welcome for the box o'goodies..
I wear tiger's eye myself for strength.
Have you got anything fun happing on the pedal yet?"
4:36pm fawnstars
"*happening :-)"
4:40pm fawnstars
"I'm thinking about getting a loop for vocals for fun"
5:40pm army_made896
"Nah I haven't had the time to give it proper attention yet, but I will!"
6:34pm fawnstars
"Oh yeah sorry I am sure you have been busy lol!"
6:50pm fawnstars
"Please enjoy it when you can and don't think about anything but that we were on a mission from Caz himself to find you, and were so glad to find that when we did find you that you love music too. It's a cool connection!! Have fun 😄🎶🎸"
6:53pm army_made896
"😕☹️😓😪"
6:54pm fawnstars
"Sorry to mention your dad ❤️"
6:55pm fawnstars
"And I am so sorry for your loss."
6:59pm army_made896
"no it's ok. you not mentioning doesn't mean he didn't die. i need to come to grips with that. if he truly pleaded with someone to find me, that forever breaks my heart and i'm not sure that i'll ever recover. that i'll ever be complete (whatever that even means)."
7:21pm fawnstars
"When we visited Caz he was very out of it most of it the time. I sang to him a lot.. Lullaby of Birdland especially.. And he would sometimes wake up and look around, he would eat a little from us or sip water and only few times he was so alert that he held conversations."
7:23pm fawnstars
"I laid with him a lot and in his little spurts we would talk to him about you existing as a brother and his face would light up and he would agree that yes you were his son and yes you were Christian's brother and Jazzy's uncle.."
7:25pm fawnstars
"When we found the pictures we told him about them and that we would find you and he was so happy about that.. He didn't say "Go find mike" but we said "Cazzie we are going to find mike" and his eyes lit up so much and he nodded his head Yes. This was only a few days before he passed away."
7:26pm fawnstars
"I have a lot of fkd up family stuff going on so I know how hard it is to let time pass... But you can only do what you can from where you are now."
7:32pm army_made896
"goddam Fern i will never forgive myself. thank u so much for telling me. i have to ask you, where did the old pictures of my mom come from? i showed her and she flipped out. i'm assuming Lew kept them after all these years?"
7:33pm army_made896
"they were pics of just her getting promoted in the army, e.g."
7:41pm fawnstars
“All of the pictures were in a large plastic envelope.. those old ones of her as well. Those were so cool of your army family legacy! It looks like your dad held on to them all. He was a mystery to the end.. He would respond to one thing and then shut off the next. Enigma with the sweetest smile :-)"
7:43pm fawnstars
"I have a lot of recordings of those two days if you ever want any when you are ready for all of that."
10:29pm army_made896
"oh gosh no"
10:29pm army_made896
"please don't delete them but i can't bare to watch"
10:29pm army_made896
"you describe him just as my mom did-mysterious."
10:40pm fawnstars
"I get it! :-) We will always have them."
10:40pm fawnstars
"Did you feel that way about him too?"
10:41pm army_made896
“actually no, not mysterious. just kinda 'different', but i look at myself the same way so it didn't seem peculiar."
10:44pm fawnstars
"We can learn a lot about ourselves through looking at those closest to us for sure. I am glad you have found another angle and insight to the elusive Caz :-) I am grateful to share in his life even a little bit."
10:50pm fawnstars
"I am learning my hardest lessons yet with my teen son! The party never ends lol"
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