It felt like forever I spent in my room pouring over all the information in my 「 NOTIFICATIONS 」. Most were little things for me to remember such as the tasks that Grandma Fu gave me or the skills I learned, the cooldowns for 「 AIR BLAST 」and the like. If there is anything that I learned from all of this, it's that there is so much that goes into this world and so little that I know. If I thought that before was the tutorial then this must have been Harde Mode because I was stuck and didn't know where to go to move forward. My instincts told me that following Grandma Fu's instruction would help but there were too many questions raised from before. The faces of the 「 PLAYERS 」at the gate, the 「 STAMINA POTION 」in my inventory, and my own being for example. With all of the questions piling up, I found my will to leave the room dwindling bit by bit. Resting with my back against the wall, the sunlight from beyond the pulled-back curtains warmed the back of my neck as I tucked my forehead against my folded arms resting atop bent knees.
Nubi floated through the air above my head but eventually, the warmth of their body radiated close to the shell of my ear as they gave it a tug with plush fingers which felt cool yet warm to the touch. I tilted my head and glanced up at them as they tilted their head at me.
"What's wrong Air, aren't we going?"
I know that I talked big about accepting my role as the Legendary Hero of Air but I still didn't get it. And coming here seemed like a good idea to get out of the forest and away from things that could kill me but not so much now. Man, I felt like a coward.
"Nubi, am I a 「 PLAYER 」?"
I don't know why but the word felt dirty on my tongue. Remembering Rhesh and her crew, the way they looked at me, expecting something from me with greed in their eyes. It sent shivers down my spine. I may not have known who I was but I definitely didn't want to be something like that. Nubi floated over to rest on the crook of my elbow and kicked their legs back and forth, their glow was bright and it reminded me of a nightlight. Although I couldn't remember what a nightlight was exactly, it felt like something comforting.
I was getting so tired of these patches in my memories. Things I knew and things I didn't. What a pain.
"You're not like them," Nubi interjected, reaching out to brush their hand across my cheek. "You're the Legendary Hero of Air!"
I huffed and grumbled, "What's that supposed to mean anyway?"
Throughout all of those 「 NOTIFICATIONS 」there was very little mention of anything about what being a Hero meant. It felt like an empty title, to be honest. I tucked my knees against my chest and Nubi shifted with the movement, floating closer to my cheek and filling my vision as my sight tunneled.
"You're a friend of the world, chosen by the One Who Connects All," Nubi said, their voice soothing to my frayed nerves and their hand gently stroking along my cheek. "I know it's confusing, Air, and I'm sorry that I can't help more but those so called guards are bad news. I don't know how I know but I can just tell!"
They didn't have to tell me for me to know that. Rhesh, Kadry, and Mike, something was off with those three and they weren't anything but glorified bullies.
You must be pretty strong.
Grandma Fu's words from earlier echoed in my head and I had to disagree. I wasn't strong but I was brave. Brave enough to go against my instincts and keep trying. After all, Nubi was right. I couldn't stay in this room forever and I couldn't just hide out because I was unsure of what to do. I'm the Legendary Hero of Air and it's my job to do something but I figure that taking out bullies and helping the villagers was part of it.
And I'm pretty sure that Grandma Fu would throw me out if I tried to freeload, so that was another thing.
"Alright, we should get going," I said, pushing to my feet and Nubi let out a cheer, zipping around my head as I laughed and headed to the door. "Okay, okay. Don't get too excited."
I reached for the doorknob then stopped, remembering that dark specter that rushed into the room not too far from my own. What if they were out there waiting for me? Did Grandma Fu even know what that was or was it just something that was hanging out around the house like the other spirits? I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out but I wasn't about to chicken out now. Nubi's excited cheers and the heartfelt compliments they'd play to me being the wind beneath my wings, no pun intended.
Opening the door, I peeked out and glanced one way then the other before creeping into the hall and gently shutting my door with a light click. Nubi clung to my shoulder as we headed down the stairs, taking occasional glances over my shoulder to ensure that we weren't being followed. And once we reached the front door, a spoon came hurtling through the air and hit the wall near my head. I yelped and jumped to one side, hands raised to defend myself or plead mercy, only to see Grandma Fu standing there with a hand on her hip and another spoon in her hand.
A few silvery-lined figures peeking from behind her, their forms wriggling and moving as they stood there, observing with sharpened teeth shown as their lips pulled back into smiles.
"Bring that spoon to me," Grandma Fu ordered, pointing at the spoon that she threw and I thought to argue but she brandished the other spoon and I reconsidered for the sake of my health.
Picking up the spoon, I ignored the 「 NOTIFICATION 」as it flashed before my eyes.
「 WOODEN SPOON 」 has been acquired.
Great, I was holding my potential murder weapon. I walked toward Grandma Fu with the solemness of a dead man. Somehow, I felt like a scolded kid beneath her gaze and with her hands set on her hips with the wooden spoon tapping against her thigh, I felt like I was in for it. A million things ran through my mind. Did I take too long with coming down? Maybe I should've just went through the window but if I used 「 AIR BLAST 」to lower myself to the ground, I might have ended up shooting myself up to an impossible height.
Wait, no. There was no time to be thinking like that now, I was right in front of her! Offering the wooden spoon in my open palm, I bowed my head and refused to meet her eyes. I'm not sure why, we were doing alright before or at least I thought so. I just felt off.
Then a warmth surrounded me and it took me a second to realize that I was being pulled forward, my cheek pressed against her shoulder and the wooden spoon clattering to the ground between us. Her hand rested on the back of my hand, warm and calloused fingers threading in my hair, it felt soothing. She smelled like the soup, spicy but also sweet, and for some reason, I felt a pressure behind my eyes. Her other arm secured around my torso pressed me closer to her and the hug while warm was also a bit suffocating. Was I supposed to feel this choked up?
What was this pressure behind my eyes?
I opened my mouth to say something but couldn't find the words. They were lodged in my throat along with something else and I shut my eyes tight to try and stave off the pressure but it only insisted. Something wet clung to my eyelashes as I pressed my face against her shoulder and my body began to tremble. I told myself to breathe but it was hard.
Everything was just so hard.
I wasn't sure where Nubi had gone. I couldn't feel their warmth nor the spirits which lingered in the kitchen. All I could feel was the security of Grandma Fu's arms and my own trembling body as I tried to keep back this feeling that was threatening to burst inside of me. I'd been trying, attempting to accept and then pushing it away. How long would this go on for? When would I figure out what I was supposed to do?
"I'm sorry," Grandma Fu said, her voice halting my thoughts in their tracks.
"Sorry?" I said at a loss for words.
Her arm wrapped around me tightened its hold and I felt safe. The wetness clinging to my eyelashes slipped down my cheeks and I tucked my cheek against her shoulder, sniffing and hunching my shoulders, my hands raising and lingering in mid-air unsure of where to go. Eventually, I decided to wrap my arms around her and her impossibly tight hold only tightened further and I felt a weight in my chest shift.
"Air, what's your earliest memory, can you tell me?"
I thought about lying. What if she thought I was one of the players, what if I got kicked out, what if -
There were so many what-ifs and I was tired. There was nowhere to start, nowhere to figure where to go. Why couldn't I just trust someone with this? The only person I had was Nubi but even she seemed a bit confused about what direction to go in and how far to go and how far to hang back. I thought about telling her about the voice. Floating in a void of darkness, unable to see my hands, feel my body, but there was a warmth that surrounded me. The voice of someone I'd never met before.
You're a friend of the world, chosen by the One Who Connects All.
Is that who Nubi was talking about? That woman, her warmth, the One Who Connects All?
Realizing that Grandma Fu was waiting for an answer, I decided to switch to the moment where I'd become aware of where I was and how I was falling deeper into something.
"I woke up in the forest outside of town, falling through the sky."
"Falling through the sky? Did you get hurt?"
I shook my head. I don't know how but somehow I managed to save myself. It was hard and I was panicking the whole time. But there was something about the kindness in her voice that just managed to squeeze the truth out of me. I didn't realize how badly I wanted to share this with someone else that wasn't Nubi. Someone who had no idea what was going on just as I didn't have any idea who I was. Someone who could help me.
Even if they couldn't understand me. Her fingers ran through my hair soothingly, from the top of my head to the hairs at the nape of my neck, she gently weaved her fingers through and I felt the weight in my chest dissolving.
"Do you remember anything about your family, your friends, anything?"
I shook my head again. I wanted to ask her why she was asking about all of this. Sure, she fed me and gave me a place to stay but that was out of obligation, wasn't it? She saved me from those 「 PLAYERS 」and gave me a 「 STAMINA POTION 」, and direction in this life I was supposed to live.
"I thought you needed a moment alone," Grandma Fu said. "To sort yourself out, to figure out what you wanted or needed to do, you threw yourself into work so quickly - I don't think you had a moment to just think."
So that's why she told me to go to my room. To get out of an active environment into one where my brain could slow down and I could breathe again. Breathe in the situation, all that happened to me, and the pressure that would build up inside me would burst. I wanted to laugh but I also felt like crying. It took me a moment to notice that the wetness on my cheeks were in fact tears and I was openly crying with my face pressed against her shoulder.
"Air, I know it's hard, not remembering anything and not knowing where to go or what to do. You're an odd one, but you're a sincere child, and very kind."
I hesitated slightly but nodded in thanks, pressing my face further against her shoulder, the strap of her apron rubbing uncomfortably against my face.
"I'll do my best to look after you until you find a place that you want to go, okay? But you have to promise me one thing."
Grandma Fu slowly pulled away from me and through blurry eyes, I looked up at her. Eyebrows knitted together and lips pressed into a frown, she looked into my eyes with a determination that nearly shook me to the core. I felt dazed, tired but better. Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I straightened up as best as I could. Something in me said that if I was going to be a hero, I needed to at least act the part. But I didn't feel like a hero right now. I just felt like a lost kid who was trying to find some guidance in someone who would be kind to me. It almost felt juvenile, wishing for kindness from another person, but this wasn't a game. I felt that this was real, a life away from the life that I might have lived before.
And someway, somehow, the memories of who I was before and perhaps even the person I'd been before were stripped from me. Wouldn't that be enough to make anyone else cry?
My face felt hot and I sniffed, leaning into the gentle touch pressed to my cheek as Grandma Fu cupped the side of my face and tilted my head back. I looked at her and she smiled softly.
"Don't give up."
I wasn't sure what to say to that.
"It's going to be harder before it gets easier but it will get easier as long as you don't give up."
My thoughts were racing as she placed her other hand on the top of my head, ruffling my hair.
"I don't know what you were thinking trying to take this all on by yourself but no more of that, you hear me? You're under my roof and while you are - no even after that, you're going to be taken care of. You got that?"
My lips pressed together in a thin line to stifle the sob that threatened to tear free from my throat. Leave it to a Grandmother to know when you needed to hear something but also leave it to Grandma Fu to make it almost sound like a threat. I sniffled and sobbed but couldn't help the smile that split my face as she ruffled my hair with a throaty laugh and hugged me close. My hands gripping at the back of her shirt as I held her close and smiled. This felt so familiar but I wasn't sure from where.
"You're a good kid," Grandma Fu reiterated, resting her cheek against the top of my head. "You'll be fine. And I'll be with you."
Somehow, that made me feel better than Nubi's reassurements of my title or the quick brushes with death that I managed to escape. I slowly nodded and the hug gradually ended, Grandma Fu taking a step back as I wiped at my eyes. I could hear a soft whispering, feel a presence slip around my side but dared not to look up in case it was one of the spirits making their way past. But as I opened my eyes, Grandma Fu stood there presenting a boxed object wrapped in a colorful white and gold handkerchief. I tilted my head and held out my hands. She set it in my hands and the warmth radiated from it warmed my fingers.
"That's the lunch I want you to deliver to the couple a few doors down, there's also some extra for you and Nubi," she explained. "When you go, why don't you ask if you can eat with them for a bit? The best way to make friends is over a warm belly and a frothy mug of Mint Bomb."
Then with a quick sweeping gaze over me, she shook her head.
"On second thought, you're a bit too young for Mint Bomb, just stick to water or a type of juice, okay?"
I wondered how young I looked to her but I couldn't help but smile nonetheless.
"Alright, ready to set off for real this time?" Grandma Fu asked, her voice light and teasing although there was something beneath it that sounded like concern.
I sniffed and rubbed at my eyes again, shifting the boxed lunch to the crook of my arm.
"I'm ready," I said with a smile.
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