Have you ever watched raindrops trickle down a window? Well I haven’t. Never got the chance. But I’ve watched enough rom-coms to know it’s something people like to do. Anyway, what I noticed in the movies was that the first few drops are the trailblazers. They have the hardest time, the most friction to slow them down. Spastically they carve their own path down the desiccated surface. The ones that follow have it easy, they just follow in the footsteps of their predecessors.
Now take that metaphor and replace raindrops with a nerdy scientist who’s rocking a piss on the windshield of a brand new, state of the art spaceship he’s about to blast off into outer space. Well, I’m that first piss. The trailblazing first piss. Or am I the windshield? How do metaphors work exactly?
Sorry, I really didn’t want to start my story with a piss metaphor but what other option did I have? Everything that happened to me was so fu-. Shit, sorry, before the launch I promised Penny I wouldn’t swear as much so just polar bear with me. I’ll try my best but it’s going to be a real ffffff…fudging piece of candy. Phew, close call. Man, this is going to be hard, real fucking hard. Shit.
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