After Jack's abrupt exit, I made a direct beeline for my room.
Not bothering to shower, I simply stripped down and changed into something more comfortable before diving straight into my bed. I bury myself in the covers and lay on my side, staring at the wall, guilt settling into my stomach.
How could I have asked Jack something so personal? I felt like such a horrible person for even suggesting it. I was a bad friend and a bad person to put him in such a place and I regretted every moment of it.
An hour later there is a soft knock at my door. To upset to even speak, I remain silent and bury my head further into my pillows to avoid further humiliation.
"Troye?"
My door opens quietly and Jack steps in, looking towards me in concern. "Can we talk?"
I say nothing, opting to stare at the rock band poster on my wall.
"Troye," Jack sits down on the edge of my bed. "Talk to me."
"I have nothing to say." I whisper.
"You don't have to be embarrassed."
"But I am!" I sit up suddenly. "I feel so bad for asking you to do that. I'm so sorry Jack."
"Don't feel bad," Jack replied gently. "You were scared and needed help and so you asked for it. That's nothing to be ashamed of."
"I put a strain on our friendship." I mutter. "And I made you uncomfortable."
"I know you didn't mean to." Jack taps a finger against my wrist as an act of comfort.
I look away from him, shoulders dropping as I give in to the humiliation. Part of me wished I could go back in time and erase the whole night.
My hand runs over my face and I manage a smile. "Guess I'll just have to google this stuff, huh?"
"Maybe you don't have to."
My gaze flicks to Jack instantly who shifts uncomfortably. "What are you talking about?"
"I think," Jack says, avoiding my gaze. "I've figured out a way we can both win in this scenario."
"What's that?"
Jack reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. Putting it in front of me, I skim the contents.
Agreement between alternating parties, Jack Chase and Troye Evans, on the terms of sex and relationships.
"What is this?" I laugh.
"A contract," Jack says. "In order to preserve our friendship, we both sign this and agree to the terms."
I look between Jack and the contract in surprise. "Really?"
Jack nods. "Read the terms."
My eyes fall back to the piece of paper as I read through it.
(1) On the promise of sexual teachings, both parties agree that should there be any question about the state of their friendship, the contract is automatically terminated and said lessons must not be continued.
(2) Either party may terminate the contract at any given time and do not need to provide an explanation for their exit.
The third term really stands out to me as I read over it again.
(3) Should any party begin developing romantic feelings, the contract is automatically suspended and lessons are discontinued in order to preserve friendship.
"You want me to sign this?" I ask.
Jack nods once. "I do."
"And you'll sign it to?"
"I will."
A breath of air leaves me as I ask cautiously. "So, does this mean you'll help me."
Jack's eyes meet mine. "Yes."
"Jack," I breathe. "Thankyou."
Without replying, Jack leans down and scribbles his signature at the bottom before handing the pen to me. "Your turn."
I sign my name at the bottom before leaning back and biting my lip. "So, um, what now?"
"Now," Jack replies. "We begin Lesson One."
"What's that?"
Jack grins. "Kissing."
***
"Oh um," I say after the initial shock of Jack's reveal. I pull on the strings of my hoodie nervously. "I um, I don't really-"
"Troye, breathe." Jack says. "Don't be nervous."
"Okay."
"Was Cameron your first?" Jack asks and I nod.
Jack nods to himself, inhaling. "Okay, I'm going to need you to kiss me."
"Wait, what?"
"How did you think I would be teaching you if I don't know how you kiss?" Jack chuckles.
I didn't know how to respond to that. Understanding my confliction, Jack gently takes my hand in his and before I know it, he's leaning in.
My heart shudders in my chest, it's rhythm speeding up as Jack approaches before bursting into an explosion when his lips meet mine.
It's longer than a peck but Jack pulls away not long after. "Troye, you need to relax."
"Sorry," I say, rubbing my arm. "I'm just a little nervous."
"You don't have to be," Jack assures. "Just trust me."
I nod, encouraging myself. "Okay."
This time I take the lead and lean in slowly, beginning to kiss my best friend as I try not to overthink it.
My eyes widen in shock at the realisation of what we were doing. This is Jack. My best friend, Jack. I was kissing my best friend. My best friend who was teaching me how to fall in love again.
His lips moved over mine easily as he reciprocated the kiss, our movements blending together as one. It felt good.
He pulls back, opening his eyes. "Not bad. Clearly you and Cameron went far enough."
I blush at the compliment. "Now what?"
"Have you ever used tongue?" Jack asks.
I shrug. "A little but not much."
"Do you know how?"
"Not really." I sigh.
"Just trust me, okay?" Jack says and I have no choice but to nod as he leans in again.
Jack kisses me gently at first, establishing a rhythm and easing me comfortably into the action.
I had made out with Cameron many times on numerous occasions but Jack wasn't Cameron, and it felt good.
Suddenly something ignites deep inside my stomach when Jack runs his tongue over my bottom lip, asking for entrance.
I grant it willingly and in a matter of seconds am experiencing pure pleasure as Jack's tongue dances with mine, sending shivers through my body.
As I elicit a small moan, the spark inside me roars to life and I can't help but feed the hunger growing inside me.
With a sudden confidence I didn't know I possessed, I push Jack backwards so I'm leaning over him on the bed.
All my nerves are temporarily forgotten as Jack moans lightly underneath me as we continue to kiss.
It's only when I scrape my tongue against his bottom lip that Jack responds. Suddenly, with a hungry growl, we're flipping over and I'm lying on my back underneath Jack.
Neither of us break the kiss as we succumb to the pleasure of the other. A tingling sensation dances in my stomach unlike anything I'd ever felt before.
Maybe it was my age at the time or my lack of experience, but something about kissing Jack was different than kissing Cam. I was trapped in a world of Jack, and I don't think I ever wanted to leave. It felt good. He felt good.
Rubbing his hands down my side, I let out another small moan until suddenly our small make-out session is cut short as Jack throws himself off me.
I whine in protest, sitting up while trying to hide the fact that I was enjoying what we just did.
"Jack," I breathe heavily.
Jack shakes his head. "I'm sorry, we should've never taken it that far."
"That felt so..." I trail off, my head spinning as my heart gallops in my chest, trying to find the right words.
"I've never felt that before." I finish, looking towards my best friend who clearly isn't as pleased as I am.
"No," he says. "We shouldn't-we shouldn't have done that."
"Why?" I lean up on my elbows. "Jack, that felt-"
"No!" Jack bursts out. "I'm sorry Troye, it wasn't meant to be like that."
"What are you talking about?" I ask. "That felt great. Amazing, actually."
Jack shakes his head. "No, it can't. No."
"Jack, what are you-"
"We're done for tonight." Jack stands from my bed, basically running to the door. He doesn't say another word as he leaves my bedroom, the door slamming behind him.
I stare after him, gobsmacked. I don't understand why he was reacting like this. Did he not like the kiss? Was I really that terrible? Why did he leave like that?
Leaving me with no explanation, I collapse on my bed as Jack leaves, trying to process everything that had just happened in my head.
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