Not What I Want To Be
Feb 14, 2019
Creator
-The Secret Journal of Irtes-
Plans. Upon Plans. Upon Plans. Upon Plans.
I have a great purpose. It is simple, and it is right.
A meaning to my life has always been there. A clear direction that I can, and must, take.
And that is good.
And I am thankful.
And
also
I think of a lesser path I could take. A very selfish path. A simple, and small, and meaningless path.
And it fills me with so much joy that it I am overcome with dread.
Because that path leads away from everything I am. Everything I need to be.
And yet everyday it tempts me.
So I make plans. Upon plans. Upon plans.
Each one further sealing away that path.
Forever.
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life can happen very fast, and in retrospect, its easy to say, oh i could have done this, or that, but when its all swirling, and whirling around, sometimes reacting at all, feels impossible
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