She peeled off her offensive wet socks, throwing them in the mudroom and dropping her hoodie.
“Hey guys.” She called to her family in the den.
“Hey.” A collective response.
‘They must be watching T.V.’ Mana thought. She peeked around the threshold. It was dark and flashing.
“Some guys followed me. Said things that made me feel uncomfortable.”
“That sucks…” Her brother burped, not looking away from his game. Mom was on her phone, and husband watching sports broadcast.
“It happens a lot.” She said, standing there in the dark entry, pale lights playing over hunched figures in the den.
Mana managed to breathe again and turned to head up stairs, shouldering her bag one final time. The light in the hallway cast a glow down the staircase, each step a brighter shade than the last. Mana Chuckled.
Somewhere in there was a funny metaphor, but she let the thought slide away as she pulled the drawcord for the attic stairs, and pulled it shut behind her.
The room was dark, but it was a cozy place. It was the only space she knew where darkness didn’t equate dangerous. She flopped down on her bed, tossing her bag aside. Letting out a long sigh, she laid her arm over her eyes and listened to to the drumming of the rain through the thin roof above her room.
“I wish I wasn’t so alone.” She whispered into her arm, her lashes gathering moisture. She could almost hear music in the rain. A thin note flowing between drops. Thunder rolled across the sky, raising hairs on her arms, leaving a faint rhythmic pulse in its wake. Her heart quickened as the staccato drops grew louder. Water rushed down the shingles like a miniature rapid, cascading far below and pooling in our sodden lawn.
Lighting illuminated her room. Brilliant lines of color, shapes and patterns rolled across the walls as thunder rocked the the foundations. Mana startled sat up to look out the large round window at the waves of clouds. She could see many layers of mounds gliding across the sky. Flashes of light flooded the furthest clouds revealing the depth of the storm. She swore she could make out shapes of jellyfish in the mantle of the tempest. She watched sheets of rain blot out the street below, and it seemed it was only her and the ocean of rolling sky. Mana placed her palm against the cool window pane.
Lighting struck again, very near. The light blinded her. Throwing her arms over her eyes, she fell back on the bed and waited for the deafening crash of thunder, but it never came. She opened her eyes. The room was flooded with light. Purple, green and blue lights played brilliantly on the walls and floor in a way she’d never seen before. It seemed like a different world. The light pouring through the window cast a perfect shadow of Mana. She laughed at the clarity of the thing and waved at it. It waved back.
Mana abruptly realized the rain had stopped, and wondered if the light was the indeed the sun. She turned to the window. Gasping, she crawled over her bed to the sill and kneeling, leaned through the window.
“The sky has more colors than I’ve ever seen!” She exclaimed as she took in the prismatic colors of the light in the clouds and sky.
“I’ve never seen a sight as magnificent as this.”
She reached for the source that made her heart skip, and her eyes mist. Her heart had never felt such joy, and she wept for the feeling she had missed but never knew.
“Please stay forever. I cannot live in a world without your radiance. In a cold, dark world.”
She plead to the sky, reaching out, trying to touch the light. Her hands filled with shapes and colors, and she marveled at them, tears streaming down her cheeks. She cupped the light in both hands. The colors swirled together, dancing and playing in the contour of her palms. The light was warm, in her hands. Weightless and fluttering like a baby bird. It caressed her face and arms with it’s radiance.
“My love, we cannot stay forever.” It pulsed as it spoke to her, playing across her cheeks and lips.
“Do not think I love you any less, or another more...but to stay as we are diminishes who we are meant to be, and what we are here to do.”
The light warmed her tongue and rolled down her throat, golden and brilliant. Her chest filled with heat as the light found its way into the cracks in her soul and burst through. Fissures of burning light flickered across the walls of her room as she panicked, touching the illuminated marbling now enveloping her entire body. Golden light shone through her eyes and her fingertips as patterns rapidly flipped over her body, filling her with light and radiance.
“I love you, and in a way I’ll always be with you.”
Mana closed her eyes, peace washing over her, a cool brooke of tranquility lapping against her skin. She felt weightless, like a raindrop sailing through the heavens.
End over end, through time and space, light and shadow. To the butterfly, from the Cocoon. Earth, Sky, Sun, and Moon. Everything became the light. All sensation washed away by blinding nothingness.
“One day, you’ll understand.”
Everything faded away as Mana drifted in a sparkling void of tiny lights.
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‘I’ve never felt this way before.’ Mana thought.
She felt like there was no ground or sky. She was tumbling, slowly through little points of light, cooling her skin and melting away. She reached out for one. It landed on the tip of her finger and dissipated sending small sparkles up her skin. She looked around, in awe of the magical world around her. Stretching out her arms, she closed her eyes and took the deepest breath she’d ever taken in her life, and smiled. She’d never felt peace, warmth and tranquility like this. Parts of her were waking up that had never been explored before. Muscles unused now shaking awake. Tears spilled through her closed eyes, running into her hair, and floating around her face as she rolled gently through the stars.
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