I wake up laying in Dontae's room nobody around so I wakeup put on my shoes and i hear people in the living room I walk out to see what was going on and I walk out to find them all trying tomake breakfast (they can't cook) I laugh at them then make them eggs, backon, and pancakes. After that I go off about to walk back to the room and well this.
Trey: Aye chief where you going
Me: back to bed
Trey: damn leaving already
(they all laugh)
I through a pillow at him
Me:Fine I'll stay on the couch
I go behind the couch and role over it and just lay there
Courtney: You ok girl?
Me: (Talks into couch then picks head up) Noiii my head is killing me
Dontae: Ha someone had too many hits last night
Me: Shut up hoe
All of them laugh then right when I am about to go back to bed dontae sits on me
Dontae: Get up bitch
Me: No whore you get off
me and him laugh courtney and trey talk while I just lay there with him on me then a song comes on one that reminded meof Coleand how he hurt me it was also one of my favorite it was called 'Used to love you' by: Gwen Stefani My mind went lank every lyric hadameaning I understood all of it sad to say... I felt my eyes watering all i could think was he was the only on I trusted being new to the town because Court, Trey, and Don were from LA I didn't know anybody from this other town. I should've known better than to trust anyone. "I don't know why I cried", "I used to love you", "You thought there where no ounderies but you just pushed me too far", "You go I'll stay". I feel the tears running down my face I don't make anoce justlet the tears fall I hated myself and I hated him but wait....I didn't hate him I just don't understand. Out of no where
Me: Would you ever really care if I died...
my voice was shaking...the tears went flowing faster and stronger they all looked at me and went by me
Them: Yes of course
Me: Oh...
They gasp I was wondering wheat they were gasping at the I see them looking at my arm I dug my nails into my skin making me bleed I get up togo wash my arm and hands
Dontae: Aye Siren what's wrong
Me: Nothing I'm fine...
Dontae: You don't look or sound fine
Me: Well I am so leave me alone
I walk out the door and go to the side of the house they give me about 5 minutest cool down but it doesn'tcool me down if anything it makes it a whole lot worse, Dontae comes out
Dontae: Aye you what's wrong
Me: Beside being alive?
Dontae: Come on let's go
I hear his keys, I get up but still hating everything
Me: Where?
Dontae: for a ride around town
I get into the car we take off nobod knowing we left about 2 minuteslater ciurtney text me
Courtney: * Were u at?*
Me: * Driving around with Don*
Courtney:* k when will u b back*
Me: * I dont even know hell idek where we r going*
Courtney: *SUPRIE DATE!!!! XD*
Me:* -_- cough cough, no*
Courtney: * LMAO just saying lol well have fun lmao*
Me: *Yepppp*
I look at Dontae and then back out the window its 9:27p.m. so it's pretty dark I ask him were we were going and he smiles
Dontae: Going to the park
Me: This late at night?
Dontae: Yep
Me: Haha ight
It went to a wierd moment of silence for about 5 minutes then we pull up he gets out of the car and knockson my window for me to get out. I climb out the car it was a park that was lit up with aot of cute lights it was a big park and far back was a bidge that crossedover a lake we go voer the bridge and sit on the grass by the river watching the water flow and njoying the nature.
Dontae: So why were you so upset?
Me: The song was my favorite...
Dontae: You don't cry at something you love..
Me: It reminded me of him
Dontae: Cole?
I knod my head yes
Dontae: You don't need to worry about him nomore he isgone now he hurt you, you never did anything wrong.
Me: But what if I did if I was good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough... none of this would have happend
I felt my eyes getting watery
Dontae: No! Look you're amazing you don't need to change yourself for someone courtney, trey, and me we all love you we don't expect you to change to me "good enough" because you are perfect the way you are.
Me: I...I could have nade it to were he didn't need to cheatbecause when people cheat it is always because they don't have what they want or need
Dontae doesn't do nothing just stares at me I look at him it's nothing but quiet then i sit there looking at the river, alli coculd think about was how much I was un-perfect how I needed to change because I was ugly.
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